Deal With It
by Succubitchxoxo
Summary: Peridot, fed up with her mother's ploy to hook her up with her boss's loser son, hires Jasper to be her fake girlfriend. Which seemed like the perfect plan, in theory. Except Peridot finds herself having trouble keeping it in her pants for her hot new friend. Jaspidot
1. Chapter 1: Everyone's a Clod Except Me

Chapter 1: Everyone's a Clod Except Me

It was barely 9:30 and Peridot had already almost ruined her keyboard with a surprise jostle of her hot coffee. Mornings were not her thing and this one, between the pile of work that was due later and Pearl's incessant humming, was shaping up to be particularly dreadful. Sliding her circular glasses up the bridge of her nose with her index finger, she glared back at her computer screen with the email from the last person she needed to hear from today. She slid down the back of her office chair and braced herself for the worst.

To: Peridot (pdiamond )

From: Y. Diamond (ydiamond )

Subject: Thanksgiving Dinner

Greetings Peridot,

I hope my email finds you well. As you know, Thanksgiving is next week so I'll expect you to be at the house no later than 4PM sharp. It's just you, your brother, and I again this year, unless you've been seeing someone, which I highly doubt. Anyways, no need to bring anything, just yourself. You. Alone.

Which reminds me. I was talking to my boss about you yesterday and he mentioned his son still has quite the little crush on you. Do you remember Ronaldo? You met him at my company's holiday party last year. Well, I took the liberty of setting up a little date for you two. Don't worry about the details, I'll fill you in over Thanksgiving dinner.

Talk to you later.

Love,

Your Mother

Peridot let out a loud groan and fisted her blond hair out of frustration. The anger was boiling hot inside her and threatening to spill over into tears. Instead, she let out and exasperated "fuuuuuuuuck" and pressed her forehead against the smooth, cool surface of her desk.

Yes, of course she remembered Ronaldo! How could she forget that clod who spent the whole night talking her ear off about aliens and illuminati and who knows what the fuck else while she was trying her damnedest to just be alone and miserable at her mom's stupid party. The guy couldn't take a hint that she was NOT interested.

Great. So now her control freak of a mother was getting involved in her (admittedly nonexistent) love life. And if Peridot knew her mother, there was going to be no talking her out of it or attempting to reason with her.

"Uhhhh….Peridot? Is everything alright over there?"

Peridot rolled her head towards Pearl who was sitting at her workstation staring at Peridot with worry and confusion etched into her slim face.

"Noooo." She whined pathetically.

Pearl removed the safety goggles from her face and pushed aside the flasks and tubes of specimens. Twisting around, she gracefully strode over to Peridot who remained sulking against her desk.

"What's wrong?", her voice dripping in that concerned, motherly tone of hers. She rubbed a soothing hand over Peridot's back, which seemed to help, and waited for an answer.

Peridot sat up again and gestured angrily at her monitor. "THIS. THIS! She's doing it again! Meddling in my business and controlling life. She wants to set me up on a date with her bosses' loser son!"

Pearl glanced over the email and frowned. Peridot did seem to have a lot of horror stories about her mother, but this was particularly demeaning. Although, Pearl had to admit, Peridot did spend most of her time working. She had a strong feeling Peri was holing herself up between the lab and her apartment and not finding much social interaction in between the two. When was the last time she had date? Hell, when was the last she had a conversation with anyone besides herself or Lapis?

"Well," Pearl mused, "maybe if you found someone special to bring to Thanksgiving dinner, your mom would have no choice but to lay off."

"What? Pfft. No. That's stupid. Who would I bring anyway?"

"Oh, I don't know. Go out and meet someone! It's not hard as you make it seem."

"Ugh, whatever! Easy for you to say. You're already dating someone."

At that, Pearl perked up. "Oh! That reminds me. I forgot to tell you I'm taking off Tuesday next week. Amethyst and I are visiting my family out of state for Thanksgiving. Her and I are staying at a hotel though, so we can finally have some alone time without having to worry about that big, hulking brute of a roommate hanging around. I can't wait!" Pearl positively beamed with excitement as her smile stretched ear to ear, then as if remembering the situation at hand, she backtracked and returned to her sympathetic composure. "But, oh I'm sure everything will work out for you Peri. Don't worry. I'm sure it will be fine." A few more back pats for good measure.

"And thank you Pearl for that lovely tidbit of information I could have done without knowing. But whatever. I hope you and Amethyst have fun on your little getaway. I'll just be here. Sulking. Alone."

Pearl stifled a giggle. "What do you mean? I thought you liked having the lab to yourself. No one will here to bother you. Just you and your little robotnoid project."

"Yeah", Peridot sighed, "that does sound pretty alright. And next week is already a two day work week, so bonus! I guess…."

"That's the spirit! Now just push these issues with your mom on the backburner for now. We have to get these reports done and into Garnet's hands before 3 today or we're both done for."

"Yeah. Right." Peridot trailed off into her thoughts. She took one last glance at the email pulled up on her monitor and grimaced. She'd have to deal with this later. She clicked the little red 'x' and banished it to some dark crevice in her mind.

Work slogged on for the rest of the day. Despite her bumpy morning, Peridot managed to hand over all of the reports to Garnet **only** five minutes past due. Garnet accepted them with a silent nod, leaving Peridot unsure if she was impressed with the documents or disappointed at their late arrival. Peridot couldn't tell; her dark visor made it nearly impossible to gauge the stern woman's reaction.

Still, by the time 5 rolled around, Peridot had had enough and was fidgeting in her seat. She just wanted to go home and sulk on the couch and maybe play some video games or watch TV with her roommate. Anything but sitting at her desk. Anything but looking at the stupid email mocking her solidary life.

Peridot stripped off her white lab coat and relayered her woolen jacket and scarf for protection against the cold, November air outside. She and Pearl locked up their office together and trudged off their separate ways. Peridot walked to her forest green Accord, unlocked it, and threw herself inside along with her messenger bag. She slammed the keys into the ignition and peeled out, just wanting to get home and into the warm, comfortable safety of her pajamas.

Peridot was greeted by the smell of something homemade and cheesy as she walked into the apartment. Tossing her bag onto the sofa, she called out to her roommate, "Lapis, I'm hooooome!".

A slender woman with short, dyed blue hair popped her head out of their tiny kitchen and smiled. "Oh hey nerd. How was work? Food's almost done if you're hungry. I made chicken marsala and risotto."

Peridot felt drained, physically and emotionally, but the promise of a hot meal perked her up a bit. "Oh my god. Yes. Food. Please." She stuttered out, pulling up a chair from the table to chat with Lapis. "Today was a wreck thanks to an email from my mother about Thanksgiving next week. I couldn't concentrate or think about anything else. How was your day?"

Lapis's eyebrow cocked at the mention of Yellow. She and Peridot had been friends since their playground days and Lapis knew how much Peri and her mom butted heads. Still, she shrugged and admitted that her day as an indoor pool lifeguard was uneventful – which was a good thing. No incidents or accidents on her watch. No little shits running around the pool or doing backflips off the diving board. Lapis divvied up the steaming hot meal between two plates and set them down at the table in front of Peridot and herself.

Peridot didn't hesitate to dig into the food, but Lapis reserved herself for a moment. She prodded at Peridot. "Soooo….what's going on with your mother?"

"She's trying to hook me up with that fedora wearing clod from the holiday party last year." Peridot mumbled out through a mouthful of chicken.

Lapis spat out a laugh. "What! You mean that weirdo who kept referring to you as _milady_? She wants to hook you up with _THAT?!"_

Peridot glowered as her cheeks heated to a burning red. "Don't remind me. I think she's trying to schmooze her boss by hooking me up with that undateable clod. I don't know. She just told me to show up for Thanksgiving and she'd give me the details of her little plan then. That's it. No argument. She knows I'm not seeing anyone."

"Hmm…" Lapis chewed around her food, "have you considered finally coming out to her? Telling her that boys just really, kinda, sorta, aren't your thing?"

"No. I still haven't had the guts to tell her."

"Well. Maybe now is the time?" Lapis offered.

Peridot just gave an unenthusiastic grunt and stared down at her plate. This was hopeless. She pushed her food around with her fork making neat, contained piles of chicken and mushrooms and rice.

Finally the small, blond woman spoke up. "Hey Lapis, you wanna be my pretend girlfriend?"

Her lithe, blue haired woman looked at her like she had suddenly grown a second head. Then she let out a snort of laughter. "Wow, Per, desperate much? You and I both know your mom will never go for it. We've known each other for _years_. We're practically sisters. I don't think Yellow would believe it for a second."

"Damnit. I know. You're right. She'd laugh my ass out the door." She paused and threaded her fingers through her hair. "Still, wanna come to Thanksgiving dinner with me and be my support friend for when my mom tells me all about the date she's planned for Ronaldo and I? I'd really appreciate it."

"Ohhh….jeez. Sorry Peri. That little boy who I babysit sometimes on the weekend, Steven, begged me to come to Thanksgiving. His parents invited me after all of his begging and I just couldn't say no! He's just such a sweet boy; I couldn't refuse even if I tried."

Peridot looked dejected again and went back to picking at her food. Lapis, however, had an idea.

"You know. You might be on to something there, Peri. Now hear me out: What if you brought a date to your mother's house next week."

"Nice try Lapis." Peridot stopped her dead in her tracks. "This is literally the same advice Pearl gave me this morning. And I'll give you my same answer: where are we getting this mysterious fake lover for hire? I don't know anyone who's single or willing to play my fake girlfriend."

"Well, you didn't let me finish for starters! We need to find you the biggest, jock-iest, meathead of a significant other that we can find. Seriously, they need to be the total opposite of everything your mother wants you to have in a partner. You show up with this person to Thanksgiving and make a whole big show about how in love you are and how you want to get married. Long story short: it will piss your mom off to no end and she'll demand that you break up. You just need to pitch a fit long enough to bargain with her: you'll break up, but only on the condition that she calls off the date and stops interfering with your love life forever. Ta-da! Problem solved!"

Now it Peridot's turn to look at her roommate like she had lost her mind. "Great idea Lapis!" she barked sarcastically, "But we're still at the same conclusion: where are we getting this random meathead to play my obnoxious lover?"

"What about Ruby? She fits the bill to a 'T'."

Lapis was right, their football star friend from high school was actually pretty perfect for the part. Buff, hotheaded, and all around a little bit of an asshole. There was only one problem. "Didn't you hear? She and Sapphire are engaged. And there's no way she'd fake a relationship with me."

Lapis shrugged. "Shit. We're old now. Our friends are getting married for reasons other than 'Whoops. Accidentally knocked someone up'. That does sort of limit our options though….

"I know! You can put out an ad on Craigslist! I can see it now! 'Cute, single, white female seeks felon with no high school degree and a scary, rusty panel van like something you'd see used in a high profile kidnapping. Needed to torment mother out of persistent pestering to find a significant other. Payment includes cash and free Thanksgiving meal'. See! Easy as that." Lapis grinned madly, clearly proud of her ability to craft an ad looking for what was probably a serial killer.

"Fuck no! Have you lost your mind?! Knowing my luck, the person who answers my ad will be an axe murder. Having to spend Thanksgiving with my mother is bad enough – getting axe murdered on top of all of that is where I have to draw the line." Peridot sneered and pointed at Lapis for emphasis.

By this point, Lapis was in tears from giggling so hard, clearly finding the whole situation too comical to handle. But her laugher was infectious and soon Peridot found herself laughing along with her trying to make sense of the silly situation.

They took a moment to breathe and collect themselves. Peridot felt an odd rush of relief wash over her. Leave it to Lapis to make her feel better by coming up with some bizarre solution and equally terrible scenario.

Finally it was Lapis who broke the silence. She put a hand on Peridot's shoulder.

"Listen Peri, we just gotta find you a quick fake lover. Here's what we'll do: This weekend, lets pick you out some cute outfits, slut it up a bit, and we'll go check out some bars, or a gym, sportscar dealership, I don't know! Somewhere where we can find some doofuses! Shouldn't be hard to get them to play along. We'll figure something out."

"I'm not going to 'slut it up', Lapis. You know that. You know I'm shy and get nervous talking to new people."

"Don't worry girl. You got this."

"I hope so." She murmured. Peridot collected the dishes of the table and added them to the growing pile in the sink. "I'm going to go lay down for a bit. I can't deal right now."

Lapis turned to her friend and pulled her into a big, reassuring hug. "I'm sorry you're mom's the way she is. But look, I'm worried about you. You don't really ever go out and you haven't had a serious girlfriend for a few years now. You're young and cute, so go out and have fun."

Peridot remained silent, but reluctantly hugged back. It had been a long time since she had put herself out there, hadn't it?


	2. Chapter 2: The Set Up

Chapter 2: The Set Up

Jasper lay flat on the couch, staring up at the stucco ceiling, trying to will her self to be anywhere but the couch. It wasn't working.

It was early Saturday morning. Jasper had just come back from her morning run, still sweaty and in her running shorts, but instead of feeling energized and awake like she normally did, she felt heavy and lethargic. Like a lead weight was holding her down. She hoped she wasn't coming down with something.

She reached up and freed her massive length of white-blonde hair from it's pony tail, letting is splay behind her on the cushions. She took a deep breath and hoped it would help her relax, to lift the heavy feeling sitting in her gut.

But it didn't. In fact, it got worse. Jasper let out an 'ooomfph!' and shot up when her fat, yellow tabby, Lion, scampered up the couch and jumped right onto her belly. Lion then padded his way up her chest, till he was close enough to lick her face. Which he did. Scraping his sandpaper tongue up her cheek and meowing incessantly.

Jasper brought up one of her big hands and gently pushed away the offending kitty face. "What do you want? I already fed you, you big fatty." Jasper scratched at his chin, which he seemed to enjoy. He settled for sitting on her chest and purring like a tank.

She heard shuffling coming from the other room, meaning Amethyst was finally up. A few minutes and some muffled curses later, Amethyst emerged from her room, still clad in her sweatpant and tank top PJ combo with her long brown hair swept up into a messy bun. Still half asleep.

Amethyst let out an exaggerated yawn and stretched her back, letting her soft tummy peak out from the hem of her tank. She strode over to the couch and unceremoniously shoved Jasper's legs over to make room for herself. She looked over and grinned, "Mornin' couch hog."

"G'morning to you too, sleeping beauty. It's rare to see you up this early."

"Ugh, tell me about it! This sucks. I don't know how you do it every morning. I feel miserable! It's Saturday. I just wanna sleep all day."

It was unusual for Amethyst to be up before noon. Jasper hefted the cat back onto the floor and sat upright, spreading her arms across the top of the couch. "So what's the occasion?"

"Huh? Oh. Pearl is coming over later. I decided I'd bite the bullet and _clean_ the apartment up a bit before she got here." Amethyst glowered a bit, clearly embarrassed she was doing something to impress her finicky girlfriend.

" _You?! Clean?!"_ Jasper let out a startled laugh. She knew Amethyst – she didn't clean anything. And certainly didn't clean for other people. She must have really had it bad for that toothpick she called a girlfriend.

"Shut up you big oaf! It's too early to be dealing with your sass." Amethyst swatted playfully at her large, imposing roommate. "Yes, I'm going to clean up the apartment."

"Sure Ame, I'll believe it when I see it. Do you want me to help?"

"Yeah…About that…" Amethyst turned towards Jasper looking surprisingly apologetic. "I was kinda, sorta gonna ask you leave the apartment for a few hours today while Pearl is over…..so, consider me cleaning up the apartment by myself a bribe to get you out of here? Please?"

Jasper rolled her eyes at the request. Of course there was a catch. Still, she didn't want to hang around and be a third wheel while her roommate was getting some ass in the next room. And it wasn't as if she had plans in the apartment today. Jasper relented, "Yeah. I guess I could disappear for a few hours. But make sure you really give this place a good scrub down. And get rid of your collection of beer bottles. There's no reason to save that shit. And they're starting to smell kind of rank."

"What! No. Those are my favorite brown things!"

Jasper just narrowed her amber eyes at her friend.

"Booo. Fine. Consider it done." Amethyst gave a playful side punch to Jasper shoulder. "Thanks girl."

"Sure. You got it. Have fun fucking your girlfriend, but I swear to god I don't want to hear any details about it when I get back."

"Fine fine! I won't say anything." She snickered. "I'll just outline the crime scenes in chalk.

"Oh fuck no." And Jasper swung a pillow at her laughing face.

They sat in a few more moments of comfortable silence before Amethyst decided to speak up again.

"So, you figure out what you're doing for Thanksgiving yet? It's right around the corner. Maybe go visit someone?"

"Shit. It is, isn't it?" Jasper shrugged. "No, I got nothing. I don't really feel like flying to the other side of the country to visit my dad right now either. I'm not a huge fan of his new family. I don't think his new wife was that fond of me either."

"Fuck. Well that sucks."

Jasper gave a grunt as she swept her bangs out of her eyes, sweeping her fingers back through her long, tangled mane. "You and Twiggy still going away to visit her folks or whatever?"

"Yeah. We're leaving on Tuesday. Won't be back until Friday. You'll have the apartment all to yourself. Orrr," she drawled, "you could bring someone home." She waggled her eyebrows suggestively at her friend.

"Well, I don't have anyone in mind if that's what you're suggesting,"

"Girl! Go out and find someone cute to spend Thanksgiving with! You got time still!"

"Pfffft no." She snorted. "I plan on spending Thanksgiving eating pizza in just my underwear and watching football on the couch, thank you very much." She smirked. "Just me and Lion. No judge-y family members or bitchy relatives who comment on how 'mannish' I look or take jabs at my sexuality. Nope. None of that. So done with that shit."

"Damnit, Jasper. Your plan sounds better than mine! I take it back! I want pizza and underwear Thanksgiving."

"Haha! Nope. Sorry. The guest list is already full. Guess you're gonna have to go spend it with Pearl and her family. I hope for your sake they're weirdoes. You tend to get along with weird people."

Amethyst got up from the couch to go rummage through the fridge. She pulled out a slice of cold pizza and crammed a bite into her mouth. Cold pizza was the breakfast of champions as far as Amethyst was concerned. She grabbed a trash bag from underneath the kitchen sink and began making quick work out of the towers of pizza boxes and the piles of beer cans floating around the counter top.

Jasper remained seated on the couch trying to come up with a game plan to fill up a few hours of her day. She figured a trip to the gym and maybe some grocery shopping might take up a few hours. Maybe stop and get a cup of coffee too. Anything to help pass the time.

It took more will power than she was willing to admit, but Jasper finally made it off of the couch. Admittedly, all Jasper felt like doing today was taking a page out of Amethyst's book and crawling back into bed to sleep the rest of her day away. But, she would find a way to motivate herself. Somehow.

She debated taking a quick shower, but decided against it. What was the point when she now planned on going to the gym? The muscular woman gathered up the contents of her gym bag, not in any particular rush to get out of the apartment until Pearl showed up. She rummaged through her drawers to pick out something to wear after the gym and stuffed that into her bag as well. All she needed now was her phone and her headphones, which she threw into her bag as well.

With any luck, either she would find someway to entertain herself long enough to avoid walking in on something she'd regret seeing. Hell, maybe she'd meet someone cute at the gym. There had been a cute red head there the other day in the Mixed Martial Arts class she instructed; maybe she'd try chatting with her if she was there. Or maybe, deep down, she was just a little jealous Amethyst had someone special to spend time with now and here she was trying to avoid being the third wheel. She gave a frustrated grunt and kicked at the growing pile of clothes that littered her floor.

Whatever. Pearl was going to be here soon and Jasper needed to get the hell out of Dodge. She could hear Amethyst dragging the heavy trash bag out the door, so she's probably be done cleaning soon.

She grabbed her gym bag and stepped out of the room to find Amethyst attempting to figure out the vacuum cleaner. Jasper wondered if she should tell her she needed to plug it in.

She opened the fridge and grabbed two of the water bottles she stashed in there, dumping them into her duffle. Jasper turned to Amethyst, who had finally figured out how to get the vacuum on, "I'm heading out now. Call me if you need anything." This was code for 'tell me when she leaves'.

Amethyst nodded and left it at a "Seeya later, Jasp."

Jasper was about to leave, but when she opened the front door, she found herself face to face with Pearl, one arm poised as if about to knock.

'O-Oh, um. H-hello Jasper." Pearl snapped to attention, her pale face deepening a little pinker than before. "I-I didn't know you'd be here….Amethyst said…" She seemed a bit embarrassed to be caught by Jasper at the door, probably because she knew Amethyst was kicking Jasper out of the apartment and chances were she'd be pretty pissed about it. She wasn't wrong.

Jasper rolled her eyes and huffed. "Don't worry. I was just leaving." She stood aside allowing Pearl to pass through.

"Hey P! Lookin' good." Amethyst ran over to pull Pearl into a big smooch.

Jasper just shook her head and mumbled something about 'horny idiots' and threw the door closed behind her as she trudged out of the apartment.

She headed out towards the direction of the gym at the Beach City Shopping Center located a few blocks from where she lived. All she needed to do was kill a few hours at the gym, right?


	3. Chapter 3: Them's the Brakes

Author's Notes: I just wanted to say thank you for all of the support so far - everyone who's left comments and favorites. I really makes my day guys, seriously. You're all wonderful 3. Please feel free to add me on tumblr. I'd love to have some people gush about Jaspidot/SU in general with. You can find me here - .

Chapter 3: Them's the Brakes

By the time Peridot managed to struggle out of bed, her phone alarm had already been blaring for an hour. She fumbled for the device with her hands, trying to make the kill switch work, eventually succeeding, and settling for throwing the damn thing across the nightstand. A miserable groan escaped her lips as she threw herself back against the plush, green pillows of her bed.

"I just don't want to be awake." She grumbled into her pillows. Still, she needed to get moving. She had errands that needed to be run, a stack of bills she needed to pay, and, judging by the growing pile of dirty clothes littering the floor, laundry too. Fuck. Adulting was hard.

Speaking of acting like an adult, it seemed like Lapis was pretty serious about the whole "finding a fake boyfriend/girlfriend" thing. Peridot had a feeling she was going to be getting dragged to a bar tonight. She admitted that she did enjoy going out with Lapis; talking to other people was easier for her with a friend there to break the ice. And if that didn't work, her good friend hard liquor did a fantastic job of loosening her tongue. This plan wasn't ideal, but it was the best chance she had to get her off the hook with her mother. And besides, it was better than the _other_ option.

She threw off the covers, shivering at the slight chill of the November morning that had seeped through the window. Satisfied with her braless, tank top, underwear, and bedhead attire, she left the comfort of her bedroom, to the main living space of the apartment to scrounge for some breakfast.

Lapis was already up and sat curled up on the couch, bowl of cereal in one hand and laptop to her left. She was watching some nature documentary about whales, or dolphins, something aquatic. Not making much of an effort at communicating, Lapis just looked up from a spoon full of cereal to acknowledge Peridot's presence and went back to watching the computer. Peridot was glad that neither woman was a morning person; she felt the mutual morning sluggishness was an important factor in not driving each other crazy.

Peridot shuffled into the kitchen, grunting out a simple, "Coffee?" at her roommate.

"Haven't made any yet. But, if you're making some, could you make some extra for me too?"

"Sure thing." She managed as she whipped up a pot of earthy smelling coffee.

She divvied up the liquid between two clean mugs; an ungodly amount cream and sugar for Lapis and black for her. She then took the two steaming hot mugs and plopped down next to Lapis, handing off the lighter colored of the two.

Lapis murmured thanks and accepted the cup of joe. She shut the laptop and swiveled her body to face her roommate.

Judging by the chill in the apartment, it was a brisk, November morning. The kind that made Peridot want to stay in her pajamas and maybe marathon a few season of her favorite medical drama, _Under the Knife,_ with her best friend/roommate. Peridot sighed and leaned back into the couch, shutting her eyes to block out the light streaming in through the windows.

"No bra?" Lapis giggled and poked at Peridot's exposed nipple that had slipped pasted the confines of her loose tank top.

"Stop that! I don't need to wear a bra right now. I barely have anything there anyway." She swatted Lapis's fingers away.

"I'm just teasing you Peri! No need to get all defensive." She stuck her tongue out at her displeased roomie. She paused for just a minute before changing the subject. "So, are we still going out tonight? I figured we'd hit up the Facet Five Bar. We could go grab a bite to eat before we go too, if you'd like."

"Look Lapis, I don't know if this is such a great idea. I'm not sure if this plan of yours is even going to work. I mean, what are the chances I'll meet someone who will not only look the part, but also go along with your crazy scheme? It's too farfetched. No one is going to pretend me be my girlfriend and come to Thanksgiving with me when it's less than a week away." Peridot chewed at her bottom lip in displeasure. She knew deep down this would never work. "Although, I guess if I had the chance, I would like to date someone. I haven't had the chance to go on a real date in a while, but then again, I'm crap at meeting new people."

"Aww Peri!" She pulled her friend into a rough side hug, narrowly avoiding sloshing her hot coffee onto her bare legs. "Why didn't you say something sooner? I'm sure we can find you a real date. We'll see who's at the bar tonight. There's no need to go through with the whole 'fake Thanksgiving Day date' scheme if you're not comfortable with it, although, I do think you should finally come out to your mom. That will get you off the hook for that date with Ronaldo, probably. I don't think your mom would try to pull the whole 'you're just going through a phase' routine, would she?"

Honestly, Peridot had no idea. What she did know is that her mom liked to get her way, no matter what the cost. For years she had pushed and pushed and pushed Peridot into honors programs, after school clubs, science fairs, college, grad school, anything she thought that would make Peridot into the perfect scholar. She never gave a rat's ass about what Peridot thought or wanted to do and she certainly wasn't going to start now. She wasn't even sure that showing up with a girlfriend would even convince her mother otherwise, but Peridot figured it was time to start fighting fire with fire. Peridot was an adult and she didn't need her mother meddling in her affairs.

"So how about tonight, we go out and just have some fun? Just like after finals week when we were in college. Hell, and if you see someone cute, I'll wing woman for you. Sound like a plan?"

Peridot thought it over. It had been such a long time since she went out and did stuff with Lapis. She hated to think it, but she had become a bit of a social shut in – only leaving the house for necessities like work and errands. She had maybe gone out with Lapis twice in the past six months. When had she become such a homebody?

Peridot gave a soft smile that turned up the corners of her rosy lips. "Alright. But just for fun, okay? Anyway – I got errands to run today, so I'll be back later this evening to get ready." She stood up from the couch and headed back to her room to get changed.

"Okay!" She called out. "I'm going to pick you out something cute to wear tonight."

Peridot threw together a basic outfit for herself – jeans, tshirt, and green hoodie, paired with her Kelly green high tops. She then ran a brush through her shoulder length blond hair – clipping back her bangs into her signature style. She grabbed her keys, cellphone, and her messenger bag and headed out the door, waving to Lapis as she left.

The small woman tossed everything into the passenger seat and drove off. She had a few errands to run – groceries, bank, pharmacy, etc. They weren't hard errands; just time consuming, which Peridot couldn't stand. Patience was never her strong suit.

She spent the next few hours running around completing her task list like she was side questing in an RPG. Over all it had been going pretty well too – she found what she needed with minimal distractions and quick check out. Hell, she even picked out a nail polish in her favorite shade of green to wear tonight. It wasn't often she felt like being a bit girly, but maybe going out with Lapis brought out that side of her.

Around late-afternoon, Peridot loaded up the last of the groceries into the back seat and jumped over to the driver's side. She dug through her messenger bag hoping to find her cell phone and message Lapis to let her know she would be back soon. But instead being greeted by her pin-up style Zero Suit Samus background, she came face to face with a text message. From her mother.

 **CALL ME.**

No missed calls or notice. Just two loud, angry, little words. It didn't take a genius to figure out her mom was about to give her an earful about _something._

Peridot braced herself for the worst knowing her mom had some fight to pick with her. It had been this way all of her life.

She swiped the call button across the screen and waited.

One ring.

Two ring.

 _Click._ "Peridot? Are you there? It's your mother. Where are you? Why didn't you call me sooner? I sent that message over an hour ago."

"H-Hi Mom. Sorry. My phone was in my bag. Didn't see the message till now."

"That's no excuse! You really need to check your phone more often. What if there was an emergency?"

Peridot could feel her jaw start to clench, her teeth gritting together in frustration. "I'm sorry mom. I was busy running errands. I didn't have time to check." Peridot interjected again before her mom could berate her further. "What did you need to talk about?"

Yellow huffed. "Your response. I sent you an email yesterday about Thanksgiving. And you never bothered responding. I raised you to be courteous and respectful. You should have responded and confirmed you would be joining me for dinner. Honestly, has living with that hippie roommate of yours filled your head full of rocks?"

"I didn't think that email warranted a response, mother. You made it very clear that I was to come to your house for Thanksgiving. As I have _every_ year. And leave Lapis out of this." She gritted. This whole conversation was going down hill. Fast.

Peridot could feel her blood begin to boil. She was 26 years old, for fuck's sake! Why was her mother still treating her like a child? She had a master's degree and a career and her own car and an apartment. She was independent! Why did she let her mother walk all over her like this?

"Hmfph. Regardless, a simple 'yes' or 'no' would have sufficed."

"Is that all?"

"Yes. 'That is all'. I hope you find some better manners for your date with my boss's son. He is well connected and has a lot to offer in regards to your future….."

"Mom! Just stop right there. I am NOT going on a date with Ronaldo."

"Peridot! I told you this was not up for discussion. I'm only looking out for your best interest…."

"No Mom! Listen to me!" Peridot was passed her tipping point. She could feel her face heating up and the sting of fresh tears burning in her eyes. She felt cornered, frustrated, and she needed a way out. "I refuse! There is no way I'm going on a date with that loser."

"Perido-"

 _Shit! Think fast, think fast, think fast….._ "And be-besides! I'm already s-seeing someone!" She felt the lie escape her lips and she knew it was too late to stop it. Fuck. She might have bought herself some time though….

"Oh? Is that so." Yellow sounded bemused at her sudden outburst. "Well then. Bring them to dinner with you on Thursday then. I look forward to meeting them. Goodbye Peridot."

"W-w-wait Mom!" _Click._ Too late. She was gone.

Did her mom know? Had she seen through her lie?

Peridot clenched the phone in her hand and angrily threw it into the back seat. Her fingers fisted into her hair, pulling at the roots, knocking her head rhythmically against the steering wheel. She let out a frustrated moan, ignoring the hot tears spilling down her cheeks.

'It's fine. It's fine.' She told herself, repeating it over and over again like a mantra. She had lied about having a significant other and now her mom wanted to see the proof. How was she going to dig herself up out of this colossal fuck up?

Nope! Fuck this. She was _so_ done with this. She just wanted to go home, cry about it to Lapis, then drown her problems with over priced liquor at the bar. A solid plan if she did say so herself.

She lifted her glasses and wiped away the wet trail of tears with her sleeve. Peridot felt like she was going to explode into tiny, angry pieces. Slamming the keys into the ignition, she peeled out of her spot, ignoring anything resembling a speed limit while she white knuckled the steering wheel.

Peridot knew she should have waited to calm down before driving off in a blind rage, but by now she was past the point of caring. She tore through the parking lot of the supermarket and through the lot of the shopping center next door.

She had almost made it out to the main road when suddenly it happened.

A tall, amazon of a woman walking down the sidewalk - gym bag over her shoulder, headphones in her ears, phone in hand. Clearly she was distracted, but in just a moment's time, she stepped off of the sidewalk to cross the street and right into the path of Peridot's speeding car. By the time she looked up and realized her mistake, it was almost too late.

Until…

Peridot saw the woman and slammed down on the breaks. Peridot lurched forward and then heard a THUD as the car came to a dead stop. Peridot looked up, shock and panic mixed onto her face.

The woman stood upright in front of the car. Shaken up, wide eyed, but entirely unharmed. The Honda had halted just a mere few inches from where the woman now stood. The thud Peridot heard had been the jolted groceries she had placed in the backseat just minutes before.

The two locked widened eyes for a few moments, wondering if the other would react first.

Peridot came to her senses first and kicked the door open to her car, running up to where the woman now stood. Instead of asking if she was alright or if she had been hurt, she opened her mouth and let out a very polite, "WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?! PAY ATTENTION YOU CLOD."

The giant woman easily towered over Peridot's slight frame, but even she was taken aback by the smaller woman's crazed look and rabid disposition. But shock quickly dissolved into her own fury.

"PAY ATTENTION? YOU'RE THE ONE SPEEDING THROUGH THE LOT LIKE IT'S THE FUCKING INDY 500. I'M THE PEDESTRIAN, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO YIELD TO _ME_."

"OH FUCK YOU! YOU'RE THE ONE WALKING AROUND WITH YOUR HEADPHONES IN. DIDN'T YOU EVER LEARN TO LOOK BOTH WAYS BEFORE YOU CROSS?"

The woman was now a mere few inches away from Peridot's face, still hurling insults and expletives. A few random pedestrians stopped what they were doing to rubberneck at the scene unfolding before them, taking pictures of what looked like it was about to be an all out brawl.

"STUPID BRAT!"

"ASSHOLE!"

Peridot had no idea what came over her. One minute she was crying in her car, the next she was getting into a verbal fistfight with a random stranger who she almost ran over. And now that Peridot was taking a moment to consider her actions, she was thankful this fight had remained _verbal_. Judging by the body on her, she could kick Peridot's ass six ways from Sunday.

And speaking of body, _oh man_ , did she have a nice one. Standing in front of Peridot was the most strikingly gorgeous woman she had ever seen. Tall and fit, with tanned skin, marked asymmetrically by pale, blotchy stripes of vitiligo. Her face was equally as handsome - with high cheekbones and yellow cat eyes famed by dark, thick lashes, all framed by an unruly mane of light blonde hair. The pale stripe of her vitiligo across her eyes only made her look more stunning.

Was she staring? Yes, she was blatantly staring.

Peridot fell silent. Standing before her was one of the most beautiful creatures she had ever seen. She looked like a real life warrior princess, or a sexy action heroine. The kind of girl Peridot liked to have dirty, secret fantasies about. And instead of chatting her up and asking her out on a date, here she was calling her every insult she could think of. What the fuck was wrong with her? She needed to pull the breaks immediately on this situation and get everything under control, before the amazon warrior in front of her decided to knock her lights out.

And it was at that very moment her brain decided to short out.

"Ohmygod! Why am I yelling at you? Ialmostranyouoverwhatthehelliswrongwithme?" The words were just pouring out of Peridot's mouth in a long, unending stream of what was practically gibberish. She slapped her hands over her face and cradled her head.

The angry woman stopped her yelling. Now it was her turn to gawk and stare at the incoherent woman.

"I'msosorry! PleaseforgivemethatwassostupidalsoIthinkyou'rereallypretty. WhydidIjustsaythat. Why are you so pretty?!" That was it. Peridot had lost her goddamn mind.

"Wha-?"

"Oh my god! Why did I just say that out loud!?" Peridot's face looked like a tomato.

"Uhhhhh…..You're pretty cute yourself?" The woman's features were painted with confusion over the sudden outburst. "Are you alright miss? Are you feeling okay?" She reached out for Peridot's wrist, but the smaller woman backed away.

"L-Look, I need to go now! I-I'm sorry! I'm just having a really bad day." She shifted her gaze downwards, ashamed at her earlier outburst. "I didn't mean to take it out on you. I just panicked when I thought I hit you. I was just frustrated and upset and I wasn't thinking. I wasn't paying attention. It's all my fault! I'm sorry I almost hit you. Are you okay? Please tell me you're okay! _I'msososososorry!_ " the whole apology came rambling out of her mouth as the waterworks started up again. She wanted to curl up and die, right there in the middle of the road. She sniffled and wiped her face against the sleeve of her hoodie, like she was a little girl again.

She abruptly turned heel and rushed back to her idling car, but before she could duck inside, she felt a hand wrap around her wrist and gently pull her back out. It was the blonde woman, who's angry expression was now becoming one of concern.

"Hey. Look, normally I don't care, but I don't think it's a good idea for you to be driving like that. You're clearly really upset about something. And I don't want you getting into an accident. Why don't you take a deep breath and take a minute to calm down. Here." She reached into her gym bag and pulled out an unopened bottle of water. "Drink this. I'm Jasper by the way."

Peridot gratefully accepted the water and thanked Jasper. She could only imagine what a mess she must look like, between the tears, her hair, and the heated blush on her cheeks. But, she was thankful the woman wasn't nearly as gruff as she looked.

She peered down, still clearly embarrassed about her unhinged tirade. "I'm Peridot. And ummm... Thank you for not punching me after I yelled at you. I think I would have deserved it though." She gave Jasper a timid smile, looking up at her through her round glasses.

Jasper gave a small chuckle. "Nahhh. I wasn't going to punch you. I don't hit crying girls. Or people wearing glasses."

Peridot gave a nervous laugh and took another swig of the bottle.

Jasper smiled - she had a beautiful smile, all teeth and plump lips - and Peridot felt the warm feeling of butterflies erupt in her stomach. The level of attraction she felt for this woman she had just met was surreal.

"Why don't you cut the engine and take a breather? Look, you haven't been drinking, have you?"

"Wha-? No, no! Nothing like that. I'm completely sober. I swear. Although I'm probably going to change that the moment I get home..." Drowning her problems in booze wasn't normally the solution to her problems, but right now it seemed like the best alternative to dealing with the hole she was digging herself further into. But for right now, she would follow Jasper's advise and just take a moment to clear her head.

"I'm gonna go park my car and take a minute to myself. Thank you again for helping me. I really appreciate it. And I'm really, really sorry for almost hitting you and yelling at you."

Jasper seemed to accept that plan and nodded. Peridot quietly slipped back into her car and drove, slowly, to the emptier part at the back of the parking lot.

With the vehicle set into park, she tugged the keys out of the ignition. It was stiflingly warm in the car, despite the brisk November chill outside and Peridot figured the cool air might help clear the hot rage boiling inside her. Why did she let the things her mother said affect her so badly? This wasn't anything new. It was her mother's sole prerogative to point out all of the flaws and imperfections of Peridot's entire life.

She hunkered down on the concrete median just outside the car and allowed herself a nice long cry. No one was around to see her public meltdown and even if there was, she was way beyond the point of caring. She covered her head with her baggy sleeves and sobbed into her jeans. She cradled her head and cried and cursed until she felt the anger subside; until there was nothing left except a lingering emptiness and a tired feeling.

"Feeling any better, Peridot?"

Peridot jumped a little from surprise and whipped her head up. Jasper had caught up to her to see how she was doing. Her tall, athletic figure looming over Peridot, who remained crouched on the concrete median.

"Yeah actually. I really needed that." She lifted up her glasses and wiped the remaining moisture off of her face.

She gestured at the empty spot next to Peridot. "Mind if I join you?"

Instead of answering, she scooted over to allow her new companion some extra room. Jasper sat down next to Peridot and attempted to find a comfortable position for her long limbs. There wasn't much of an option except to just stretch her legs out straight in front of her.

They remained silent for a few long moments, thinking of something to say.

"Do you want to talk about it? I-I'm not trying to pry or anything. I just figured it might make you feel better is all. I won't say anything or judge you, I swear. I'll just listen. That's all. If you don't want to, that's fine too." Jasper suddenly seemed a little flustered talking to her.

Peridot gave her a soft smile and uncurled herself a bit. "It's just silly. I don't want to bother you with such trivial matters."

"Well, if you're this upset, it's probably not a 'trivial matter'. And I offered to listen, so it's not a bother to me either."

At this, Peridot relented. It felt weird telling a total stranger, whom she had met less than 30 minutes ago, about the unstable and turbulent relationship between herself and her mother. But Jasper remained silent and attentive throughout her whole explanation.

She tried to avoid going into detail where she could, for fear that they might be there for a few hours, but she filled Jasper in on all the grievances she had about her mother: the unrealistic expectations, the cold, uncaring attitude, the utter indifference to Peridot's feelings, how she loved nothing more than dictating every aspect of Peridot's life. There was honestly a lot to cover. She didn't mention the recent email or it's contents, instead just relaying that she had just gotten into a heated phone fight with her mom just minutes before that fateful, almost hit-and-run.

"And that," Peridot concluded, "is what I'm dealing with."

Jasper closed her eyes and nodded, taking everything in. Finally she responded with a sagely, "That's fucked up."

She chuckled despite herself. "Yeah. It is." And then, "You didn't have to come check on me. Or listen to sob story. But it was sweet of you to do, so thanks again Jasper." She turned to look Jasper in the eye.

Jasper tried to avoid her gaze, grumbling and looking a little embarrassed, shifting to adjust herself. "Yeah, well, I wanted to. That's all. I didn't have anything better to do anyway."

Peridot's phone buzzed and her heart dropped, thinking it was her mother again. Instead, it was just a text message from Lapis.

Lapis: WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? IS EVERYTHING OKAY? HURRY UP AND GET BACK HERE CUZ I PICKED YOU OUT A CUTE OUTFIT AND WE'RE GONNA GO GET WASTEDDDD. AND MAYBE GET YOU LAID.

Peridot huffed and rolled her eyes at the message. Lapis was ridiculous. It seemed like her time with the beautiful stranger was drawing to a close. She had to return home so she could pretend to be a drunk party girl with her roommate, the actual drunk party girl.

She stood up and brushed herself off. She extended her hand to Jasper to help her up, secretly giddy about holding the woman's strong, warm hand within her own. Jasper took her hand, but actually helping her up almost proved to be almost hazardous because tiny, little Peridot did not have the weight or muscle strength to get her to her feet. Instead, Peridot stumbled forward and fell right on top of her.

"Oh god! I'm so sorry!" And pushed herself off of the larger woman's lap and back onto her feet. A blush spread hotly across her cheeks.

Jasper just laughed, evidently unhurt by Peridot tumbling on top of her. She stood up on her own this time. "So I guess it's time we go our separate ways?" She asked. Something in her tone sounded almost disappointed about that.

"Looks like it. I gotta get back to my apartment. I promised I'd go out with my roommate tonight. But ummm, thanks for everything Jasper. I really did need someone to vent to. And it was nice talking to you."

"My pleasure, Peri. So, uh...good luck with everything. I guess I'll see you around?"

"Yeah. You too. Bye."

Jasper paused, almost as if she waiting for something to happen.

But it didn't. And Peridot turned away to open her car. Jasper sighed and took it as a sign it was time for her to head back as well.

Peridot sat in the driver's seat and watched the retreating form of Jasper start make her way back up through the parking lot.

Suddenly, a crazy idea hit her. It was a really stupid idea. It was a really crazy stupid idea. But Peridot was pretty short on options, so it was damn well worth a shot.

She popped the door back open and ran to catch up to Jasper.

"Jasper! Wait! I want to ask you something!"

Jasper stopped walking and turned around, smirk spread across her face. "Oh? Back so soon?"

Peridot slowed her pace to a halt, still a bit winded from the sudden running. She briefly wondered if she was setting herself up to be embarrassed again, but decided that considering all the other stupid shit she pulled today, she would live through this as well. Probably.

"Yes. I was wondering if you would meet me for coffee tomorrow afternoon. I have a ….. _business venture_ " Peridot suddenly wished she had chosen some better wording, "I'd like to discuss with you."

Jasper cocked an eyebrow. "A _business venture_? Are you sure about that? It kinda sounds like you're asking me on a date."

"Wha-? No, no."

"Are you sure? I seem to remember something about you saying I was, what was it? 'Really pretty'?" Jasper had a shit-eating grin on her face.

 _Ah fuck. Me and my big mouth._

"No. I swear. Not a date." Jasper visibly deflated a little bit.

"So, why not ask me now then? I got time."

"Because it's a really, stupid, ridiculous idea and I want to think it over before I fully commit to it. Is that okay?"

Jasper seemed to consider this. She nodded and said "Alright. Give me your number and I'll text you mine. Just tell me when and where."

"Really? Great!" Peridot's entire face brightened up.

Jasper pulled out her cellphone and entered in the digits that Peridot rattled off. A moment later, Peridot's own phone buzzed and up popped a message saying "this is Jasper" with a wink-y face next to it.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yeah, I'll text you later with the details."

"Promise you won't try to run me over again?" She winked at Peridot.

"P-promise!" she stuttered. And Jasper had to chuckle at that.

"Alright. See you then." And with that, she turned and started walking back again. Peridot remained standing rooted to the ground trying to make sense of what she just accomplished.

Eventually, she found her way back to the car, and _finally,_ made it out of the parking lot of the shopping center.

Peridot was two blocks away from her apartment when she realized Jasper _might_ have been flirting with her.


	4. Chapter 4: Drastic Measures

Author's Note: GUYS GUYS GUYS. Check out this super adorable fanart JasmineJaspers did of Crying!Peridot from Chapter 3 - post/130081027148/doodle-for-succubitchxoxos-wonderful-fic-deal

IT'S SO CUTE. SHE'S PERFECT. I DIED.

Anyway, fair warning - we are officially in NSFW territory. Enjoy you filthy, filthy sinners.

Again, thank you everyone for all of the comments and support and kudos! I'm always so excited when I hear from you guys. You're all amazing. You can talk SU/Jaspidot with me at .com . It's NSFW though.

Chapter 4: Drastic Measures

"Peridot! Are you alright? You look like you got hit by a car! What happened?" Lapis really knew how to hit the nail on the head.

Peridot grunted her distain and dragged all of the groceries through the front door. Lapis came over to help, but not before giving her a good look over.

"You look like shit. I thought we were supposed to go out tonight."

Peridot gritted through her teeth, " _Thank you, Lapis._ How very astute of you to notice."

"But seriously, damn girl. What happened to you? I thought you would be back like an hour ago."

"I don't even know where to begin."

So Peridot recounted her entire afternoon misadventure. She started with the explosive phone fight with her mother, to telling her mother she was seeing (a nonexistent) somebody, to almost hitting a stranger with her car, yelling at said stranger, making friends with said stranger, and then inviting that same stranger out for coffee tomorrow. For an employment opportunity that definitely not an excuse to go on date. Definitely not.

"And that's how I spent my afternoon."

Lapis, for once, was stunned into silence. But it didn't last long before she burst out into peals of laughter. "Holy shit Peri! That was a fucking trip from start to finish!" She kept laughing.

"Glad you found that so entertaining." She added dryly.

"How could I not? That was amazing Peri. Look at you, you sly thing. Getting that girl's number and asking her on a date.

"I told you Lapis, it's not a date."

"Suuuuuure. So, then what is this so called 'business venture' you have planned tomorrow?"

Peridot smiled. "I'm going to ask her to be my fake girlfriend to take to my mother's house for Thanksgiving, so I can annoy the shit out of my mother. She's perfect for the role too: big and beefy, kind of jock-y looking. The exact kind of person mom would hate for me to bring home. I'm going to pay her, of course, thus the whole 'business venture'-thing." She added air-quotes for emphasis.

"Wait, wait, wait. This sounds a whole lot like my original idea."

"That's because it _is_ your original idea. Sans the shitty Craigslist ad."

"I don't know. Someone almost died in each situation. Sounds kind of the same to me."

"Dammit Lapis."

"So dish girl! Who is she? Is she hot? Tell me she's hot!"

"Her name is Jasper. I know literally nothing about her. But yes, she is _very_ hot. Like gorgeous really. And very tall." Peridot hated letting on that she was a little bit smitten with the attractive stranger, but her gushing and pink cheeks were pretty much a dead give away.

Lapis gave a sad sigh and Peridot looked over at her. "So I guess you don't want to come have fun at the bar with me? Now that you got this whole fake girlfriend thing figured out?"

"Are you kidding me? I plan on drinking enough to forget the past 26 years of my life tonight. We're still going, I just need some time to make all of _this"_ gesturing to her entire body, "presentable."

"Alright! That's the spirit!" Lapis cheered. "Go shower, I'll finish up here."

She thanked Lapis for her help and went to the bathroom. One night out wouldn't kill her, although if it did, it would pretty much solve the whole "fake date/Thanksgiving" drama. Sounded like a win-win to her.

Peridot stripped off her tear – and what was probably snot – stained clothes. She wanted to keep the shower as quick and easy as possible, mostly because she kept thinking of a certain platinum blonde Amazonian. And she didn't want her shower time to rapidly become _sexy_ shower time; the kind with a steamy fantasy and the detachable head aimed right at her clit and _oh god yes there more_.

It was inevitable, wasn't it? Peridot couldn't get the other woman out of her head and knew at some point she was going to masturbate thinking about Jasper. Her brain craved it. Her body demanded it. But now wasn't the time, because she promised Lapis and she really need to get ready.

The hot water sluicing down between the valley of her small breasts and over the wide curve of her hips felt amazing though. It was warm and relaxing and her fingers massaging the shampoo into her scalp felt remarkably good. She wondered what it would be like; having Jasper run her fingers down her slick, wet body while her back was slowly pressed into the cool tile of the wall. And she'd tangle her fingers into Jasper's wild blonde mane and pull her down for a hungry kiss. Pressing her body into Jasper's as she reached down to touch the soft –

BAM BAM BAM

She snapped out of her trance.

"PERIDOT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE? ARE YOU HAVING A SEXY FANTASY ABOUT THAT JASPER CHICK? WE NEED TO GET MOVING."

"CALM YOUR TITS, LAPIS. I'LL BE OUT IN A SECOND. GOD." Busted.

The water finally ran clean of soapsuds and Peridot stepped out of the shower to towel off. She grabbed the fresh pair of bra and panties she laid out and threw them on. With the towel, she dried what she could of her hair and step out of the bathroom in all her half-naked glory.

"Have fun in there?" Lapis peered over the couch with an all-knowing, shit eating grin.

"Fuck off. I was just showering, nothing more."

"Yeah, uh huh. Not buying that." She dodged the damp towel that Peridot flung at her.

"So, where is this outfit you picked out for me?"

"On your bed. I loaned you some of my jewelry too, so don't lose it. Now hurry up and go get changed. I want to put some make up on you."

" _Thanks mom_." She answered sarcastically. She really didn't want to have to put on makeup, but fuck it, she figured, go big or go home.

On her bed, she found a geometric patterned skater dress, paired back to a green button up sweater. Lapis had also laid out a scarf along with some mis-matched bangle bracelets. It wasn't Peridot's normal style, but she put it all on anyway and decided she did look pretty cute. Lapis also had loaned her a pair of nice flats, rather than a pair of heels, which Peridot was incredibly grateful for. She checked herself over in the mirror and pinned her bangs up into the 'bump' style she usually wore.

Back in the living room with Lapis, Peridot found her in a crop top with a knee length pleated pleather skirt, rifling through her make up bag. Peridot presented herself with a little twirl of her dress. "Alright. Tart me up."

Lapis didn't make a huge deal about the make up, which again, Peridot was grateful for. Instead she opted to do something that looked more natural and effortless. When she was done, Peridot went over to check herself out and couldn't help but smile and think that _wow, I actually look really good right now._

"So, I'm all ready to go. Just waiting for the cab to call us down. You all set?"

Peridot nodded. "Just about." as she crammed a few important items into a small purse she kept for occasions liked these. She felt like she was forgetting one little thing though….

Shit! She should probably text Jasper about tomorrow before she got too drunk to remember her own name.

The taxi still wasn't here, so she whipped out her phone and hastily pulled up a text chat with Jasper. She frantically typed out a quick message, trying her very best not to over think it.

'Hey. This is Peridot. Are we still on for tomorrow? How does the Beach City Coffee Co. sound? I'll meet you there around 2?' She tapped 'send' and hoped she wouldn't have to wait too long for a response.

It was Lapis's phone that buzzed first, confirming that the cab was waiting downstairs. They squeezed into the back together and gave the driver the directions to the restaurant they were going to hit up before the bar. About 5 minutes before they arrived at the restaurant, Peridot felt her phone buzz in her bag. She pulled it out to find a response from Jasper, simply saying "Sounds good. See you then".

So Peridot and Lapis had an entire night's worth of adventure ahead of them. They had a nice quiet dinner at a small, trendy restaurant, giggling across from each other, tucked into a booth. After having a few cocktails with dinner, the two ladies paid their bill and teetered out the door. They opted to walk to the 4 short blocks to the Facet Five Bar.

The Facet Five had opened a few years back as a way to cater to the younger, hipper crowd that Beach City was attracting. The interior was dark and angular, with light up vivid green panels decorating the walls and most of the tabletops, including the entire bar. Naturally, since it was Saturday night, the bar was pretty much packed.

While Peridot usually didn't have fun at bars, she was already pleasantly, face-numbingly buzzed, which helped her relax and enjoy the setting a little more. She spent the night either chatting with her fellow bar patrons or dancing to the occasional song with Lapis. Hell, she even let a guy buy her a drink, but she didn't let him go anywhere past that point. Honestly, she was having a good time without feeling too out of control. The fight with her mother was the furthest thing in her mind and she was happy about that.

Still, for all the fun she was having sitting at the angular, jade green, light up bar, she couldn't help but look up every time she saw a tall woman or a flash of blonde hair out of the corner of her eye. A part of her secretly hoped she would have another chance encounter with Jasper.

But Jasper wasn't there. Why would she be? Peridot made sure to keep an eye on Lapis incase she got too out of control. It was getting close to 2AM, so Peridot decided it would be best to get them both home. She called up a taxi and they clamored in together. Peridot was still tipsy, but sobering up fast, Lapis on the other hand, had been doing shots up until the last call. She wondered if she should be worried, but Lapis was a freakish human being who tended just to snap back from minor inconveniences like 'having a hang over' or 'breaking her leg in three places'. That's just how she was.

When they arrived, she helped Lapis walk up to their third story apartment. She was actually pretty okay to walk on her own, it was just her feet hurt and the heels she had on were making it more difficult. Once they got In, Lapis immediately kicked off the shoes with a sigh of relief and plopped down on the couch. She looked pretty much ready to pass out at any given moment. Peridot, being the good roommate that she was, brought them both out a large glass of water to help try to ward off the inevitable morning hang over.

The two friends drank the water and went to their respective rooms, opting to leave the empty glasses on the coffee table to be dealt with in the morning.

Peridot stripped down to just her underwear and crawled in-between her sheets. She took her glasses off and the bobby pins out of her hair and placed both on the nightstand.

For a moment, Peridot considered finding the little bullet vibe she had stashed away in her bedside drawer and picking up where her little fantasy about Jasper had left off. However, that plan never got set into motion because 30 seconds later she was dead asleep.

Peridot found herself awake around 11AM, a mere 3 hours before she was supposed to go meet Jasper for their "date". She sat up slightly and groaned at the bright sunlight streaming in through the windows, aggravating the minor hangover headache that throbbed behind her eyes. It could have been worse though.

Peridot through a t-shirt on over her naked chest and popped out into the living room to see if Lapis was up yet. Lapis was making a nice, greasy breakfast in the kitchen (and hopefully enough to share), while looking perfectly fine and cheerful. Lucky bitch.

"Hey nerd. You're up." Lapis looked over from the sizzling skillet of scrambled eggs and bacon. It smelled like greasy heaven and Peridot was almost drooling at the sight. Lapis laughed when she noticed the lusty gaze Peridot had for the pan of eggs. "Just make us a pot of coffee and I promise to share with you."

"Deal." Peridot happily complied with the trade and set up the coffee pot. She didn't have that much time to dither around her apartment, but a quick breakfast and a cup of coffee would hopefully help kick the lingering effects of her hangover. While Lapis finished adding the last touches to their breakfast, she grabbed the plates and utensils.

They sat down together at their tiny kitchen table and dug into the food.

"So, did that Jasper chick ever get back to you about today?"

"Yeah, I'm meeting her at 2. I'm gonna get ready after finishing this." She gestured at the plate in front of her. "I was wondering though, could I ask you for a favor?"

"Uhhh….sure. I guess? It's not anything crazy is it?"

"No. But, will you help do my makeup again? Like how you did it last night?"

" _You_ want to wear make up? To see Jasper? I thought this wasn't a date. Is there something you're not telling me, Peri?" Lapis grinned and tapped the tip of Peridot's nose with her finger.

"N-no! I just….Yesterday when I met her I looked like a fucking train wreck. I looked awful and I felt awful. And she probably thought I was a bit crazy. I just want to look like a nice, normal person when I see her again, so she hopefully doesn't think I look like a crazed maniac all of the time."

"I mean, you kinda do though…."

"Shut up Lapis, you're not helping."

"I'm just teasing you! Fine, fine. I will make you look super adorable for your not-date with Jasper."

"Thanks. I'll take care of the dishes."

They finished up and cleared the table. Peridot tackled the mountain of dishes that had built up in the sink and then went to shower off the stale, sweaty bar smell that clung to her skin. This time, Peridot managed to keep the dirty shower fantasy at bay, which was probably for the best. The last thing she needed was to have a sexy fantasy about a person she had just met and then meet said person for coffee an hour later. The shame would have been too much.

She stepped out of the hot stream of water to dry off. There wasn't much time until she needed to leave the apartment and she wanted to put at least _some_ effort into her appearance, something she wasn't normally used to doing.

For clothes, she chose something a little more fashionable than her usual ratty jeans and t-shirt combo, instead, choosing her only pair of black skinny jeans and a light, loose sweater. She finished it off with the voile scarf Lapis had loaned her yesterday.

Lapis was ready for her when she emerged from her room, make up bag in hand and determination etched onto her face. Peridot sat down at the kitchen table while Lapis recreated the same routine from last night: a little concealer here, a swipe of mascara there, and a bit of gloss to bring it all together. Perfect. Peridot even had a little extra time to paint her nails with the sea green polish she purchased yesterday.

She was all set and ready to go; keys in hand as she slipped her pea coat on. She checked her phone to make sure there was no surprise messages from Jasper to call the whole thing off, or worse, another message from her mother. But it came up blank and out came a sigh of relief.

So this was it. She was going through with it. Peridot really hadn't thought about what she was going to say, or how to say it in a non-crazy way, but hoped that when the time came it would just go smoothly and effortlessly. But it probably would not.

When 1:30 rolled around, she hugged Lapis goodbye and the blue-haired woman wished her luck.

The Beach City Coffee Co. was only 20 minutes from the apartment complex she lived in. It was a small mom-and-pop cafe that was popular with the locals for its fresh coffee, delicious baked goods, and homey atmosphere.

Peridot pulled into a spot and parked the car, looking around for any sign of Jasper. From what she could tell, the other woman wasn't there yet, so she opted to wait out front of the café on a single, wooden bench. She checked the time on her phone – 1:55 and no new messages. It was still early, so she wasn't worried. Yet.

2:10 rolled around and there was still no sign of her. Peridot huffed into her hands. Where was she? Was she standing her up? Figures. Even if this wasn't a date, it didn't mean Jasper would even want to see her again. Granted, it had only been 10 minutes, so maybe she was overreacting? She had no idea what the protocol for this sort of thing was.

Peridot was about to text Jasper when she heard the thundering roar of a motorcycle come into focus. The motorcycle pulled into the lot and parked into an empty spot. While their face was obscured by a full face helmet, judging by the height and the mane of platinum hair peeking out, the rider could only be Jasper. The rider dismounted the bike and made her way over to Peridot, face still concealed by the helmet.

She looked like sex incarnate, clad in tight black jeans, a leather biker jacket, and lace-up boots. And when she pulled off her helmet and shook out the massive tangle of hair underneath, Peridot almost lost her mind.

Peridot was now adding "fucked on a motorcycle" to her growing list of fantasies to have about Jasper.

"Hey Peri. Sorry I'm a bit late. You're looking a lot better today, thought." She brushed away her matted bangs from her eyes.

Peridot almost couldn't bring herself to form a coherent sentence. And she was probably gawking too. Why had she thought this would be a good idea?

"H-hi." Was all she could barely manage to stammer out. So much for trying to convince Jasper she wasn't a hot mess.

"So, uhhhh...Do you wanna go inside?" Jasper looked amused by the awkward display and Peridot could only pray that she hadn't figured out how bad she had it for her.

She didn't trust herself to give a verbal answer, so instead she nodded and led Jasper to the door. She needed to pull herself together, and quickly, or else this was all going leave Peridot embarrassed and back at square one. She took a deep breath to calm herself and steady her resolve.

The coffee shop was pleasantly warm and cozy, but surprisingly didn't have too many patrons for a lazy Sunday afternoon. She walked to the back of the line with Jasper in tow.

"Order what ever you'd like. It's my treat."

"What? No. You don't have to do that. I can buy my own drink."

"Please. I'm the one who asked you here. The least I could do is buy you a coffee. So don't worry about it, okay?"

Jasper relented. When they reached the cashier, Peridot ordered her usual cup, black, of course. Jasper on the other hand wanted an "iced caramel macchiato with two pumps of vanilla, whipped cream, and an extra shot of espresso".

Peridot couldn't help but laugh as she handed the money to the cashier.

"What? Got a problem with that?"

"You know how much extra sugar is in that? Gross! I figured by your physique you were more of a health food nut."

Jasper scoffed. "Ehhh. It's fine in moderation. Besides", she added with a wink, "I don't skip leg day."

"Good to hear." Peridot chuckled as they collected their drinks. They found a nice secluded table at the back corner of the cafe to conduct their business.

They took of their coats and sat down at the little table together, steadily sipping at their drinks. "So Peri, what's the deal?" She said with a smirk, leaning back into her chair.

"Oh, um, right." She gave a nervous swallow and cleared her throat. How could she ask this without sounding like a desperate fool?

Here goes nothing. "So please hear me out. I didn't give you the full story about the fight with my mother, yesterday. You see, in addition to being the demeaning, control freak she usually is, she's also determined to set me up with her boss's loser son. And when she called me on the phone yesterday, that's what we got into a fight about, because I outright refused to do it. And in a fit of stupidity, I told her I was already seeing someone. But I'm not. And I think she called me out on my bluff because she told me to bring this non-existent person to our Thanksgiving family dinner. Oh, and she also doesn't know I'm gay." Peridot couldn't look Jasper in the eye anymore for fear that she might be scaring her off. This was too ridiculous of a request to be made. But, she came this far, so she had to ask.

"And that's where you come in. Basically, I want to pay you to be my fake girlfriend and to come to my mother's Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday. Why? Because you are the epitome of the kind of person my mother would freak out about me dating and I want to piss her off."

'And now pray Jasper doesn't laugh in my face.' She thought grimly.

Jasper certainly looked confused by her sudden proposal, probably not expecting what Peridot's idea of a 'business venture' was.

"So, let me get this straight: you want to pay me to come, as your girlfriend, to your crazy mom's house for dinner, even though you only met me 24 hours ago, so you can avoid going on some forced date with some loser guy."

"Yes. That's pretty much it."

Jasper didn't even hesitate. She just gave an enthusiastic shrug and said, "Alright. I'm in."

"Wait. What? Really? Are you sure?" Peridot almost couldn't believe it. "You don't even want to know how much I was going to offer you?"

"I mean, sure. How much?"

"300 dollars."

"Woah. That's a lot of money for one dinner with your mother!"

Peridot laughed. "No, once you experience the terror that is a family dinner with my mother, you'll probably accuse me of underpaying you. Besides, I wanted to make it worth your while for having the skip out on any dinner plans you already made for Thanksgiving."

"I didn't have a family Thanksgiving dinner plan. I was going to watch the game, eating pizza and wearing just my underwear for Thanksgiving."

"That sounds like an amazing Thanksgiving dinner plan! Shit, I want that now. That's much better than what I get every year." Peridot laughed, feeling relieved that Jasper seemed so on board with her plan.

"Well, if you decide you want to play hooky instead, I'll save some space on my couch for you. I'm warning you though, it's a mandatory dress code." Jasper winked at her and Peridot felt her whole body heat up. Yes, she wanted a sexy pizza and underwear date with Jasper. She wanted to know if Jasper wore sporty cuts or maybe she had a secret collection of skimpy, lacy things. Peridot brain was happily supplying her with plenty of mental images for her to choose from. And now 'sexy underwear party' had been added to the 'Dirty Fantasies to Have While Masturbating to Jasper' list.

Peridot could only nervously laugh off the dirty implications of the comment, but she was worried her face would give away the incredible thirst she had for the full-figured woman.

"So, have you met this loser your mom is trying got set you up with?"

"Oh yes." she dead-panned, "His name is Ronaldo. I met him at my mother's company Christmas party last year. I didn't really want to be there to begin with, but my mother insisted I network with some of the higher-ups for some possible career stuff. Anyways," she rolled her eyes, "he found me and talked my ear off all night, despite my insistence that I wanted to be left alone."

"Was it really that bad?"

Peridot snorted. "He wore a _fedora_. And he called me _'milady'_." She banged her finger against the table for emphasis. Jasper gave a snort of laughter and Peridot smiled because of it. Jasper was really cute when she laughed like that.

"Anyway, he kept going on and on about conspiracy theories and aliens and some magical girl anime I had never heard of. And I just didn't give a shit. I like science and nerdy things, sure, but it was just, ugh, no. I can't. I just can't fucking go through that again." Peridot buried her face into her hands.

Jasper chucked at this. "I don't blame you. That does sound pretty awful." She thoughtfully paused to take a sip of her drink. "So Peri, why don't you tell me a little about yourself? I mean, if I'm supposed to be your fake girlfriend, I should get to know you, right?"

"Oh, probably. Good point." She suddenly felt nervous with the spotlight on her now. "Well, let's see. You already know my name is Peridot. My last name is Diamond. And you already know about my crazy mother. Other than that, I'm a 26-year-old assistant biochemical scientist with a master's in biology. I also minored in robotics. I like sci-fi, video games, and going on a bike ride once in a while." She hoped she didn't sound too much like a nerdy shut in. "Oh, and my favorite color is green. So, um, what about you?"

"Well, damn, Peri. Quite the brainiac, aren't we? I'm Jasper Brooks, 24, and I work as a personal trainer over at the Beach City Sports & Fitness Center. I'm also practice as an MMA fighter. I'm more into action and drama, rather than sci-fi, but, I do like some video games and bike rides." She added with a smile. "Oh, and my favorite color is orange."

"That's incredible! I mean it makes sense though, you have a very nice…" _everything_ "…physique! You definitely take good care of yourself. Do you get to travel and fight in tournaments? I've never seen an MMA match before."

"Yeah, I get to travel sometimes. I've only had a few matches so far. I only started this about a year ago, but I'm doing pretty well. I have a tournament coming up in a few months from now, so I've been spending a lot of time at the gym training. You should come check out some of the sparring matches we have at the gym. It's pretty exciting to watch."

"I-I think I would like to come see that."

Conversation came easy for them. They sat quietly for a while, sipping at their drinks and making idle small talk: what they liked, hobbies, work, anything that came to mind. It felt comfortable, natural even. And Peridot found herself liking Jasper more and more, and not just for her incredible body and gorgeous features. But she knew all of this was strictly business, just a farce to fool her mother.

Still, while she couldn't really have Jasper, she could _fantasize_ about having Jasper. Right?

When Peridot remembered to check the time, she was startled to realize that over three hours had passed with the two of them chatting in the coffee shop. Had they really been talking that long? She could have sworn they had just got there.

Finally, it was Jasper that steered them back to the topic of the plan. "So…? What's the plan for Thursday?"

"Uhhh….well." ' _Shit. I didn't plan that far ahead.'_ "Well, I guess I'll come pick you up on Thursday and take you to my mother's house in Ocean Town."

"Is that it? Is your mom really gonna buy that the two of us have been going out for a while? Are we going to be able to act like a couple together? I mean, what if she asks how we met? We don't have a back-story or anything. Won't that ruin the whole thing?"

"Shit. You're right. I didn't think about that. What should we do?"

Jasper stayed quiet for a few moments, fiddling with her empty cup. Finally, she looked Peridot dead in the eyes. "We're going to go on a date together. A real date. And we're going to pretend we're a real couple. It will be like practice. We can make up a back-story too. How does that sound?"

Peridot flushed pink at the thought of going on a lovey-dovey date with Jasper. Well, she knew this date was fake too, but unless Jasper suddenly quit, she was her girlfriend until Thursday night. She smiled at the thought. "It sounds perfect."

"Great. I have work all day Monday and Tuesday in the morning, so how about Tuesday night? We'll go to the Crab Shack on Boardwalk Street."

"I have work on Tuesday, but they might let us out early because of the holiday and they gave us Wednesday off as well, so that's perfect."

They cleaned up their table together and headed back out to the parking lot. After agreeing on a meeting time, the two women said their good-byes. Jasper went to put her helmet back on when she felt Peridot's tiny hand grab her wrist.

"Look Jasper," Peridot's face was heating up and she had trouble looking the other woman in the eye, "I really want to thank you again for doing all of this for me. I know this whole thing seems like a crazy disaster and we practically just met, but I'm really happy that you agreed to do this.

Jasper looked surprised by her sudden admission, but collected herself pretty quickly. "What can I say? I'm a sucker for cute girls." Jasper gave her a crooked grin; cocky, but indefinitely gorgeous. Then, in one quick movement, she leaned down and kissed Peridot on the cheek. Peridot could feel her heart melting into a puddle of goo and dropping right into her stomach.

"Bye Peri." She thickly whispered into her ear. Jasper smirked and put the helmet back on, walking towards her bike. She deftly mounted the motorcycle, throwing the smaller woman a quick wave, and peeled out of the lot. Peridot could only stand there in stunned silence, grinning stupidly and waving her hand a bit, but not much else. Her heart was still thudding in her chest.

The drive back to her apartment was short and quick. After a hurried trip up the 6 flights of stairs to her flat, she threw open the door to reveal a dark and empty living room.

"Hello? Lapis? Are you home?" No answer. Her messenger bag was tossed aside on the couch. 'She must be out running errands or watching that Steven boy tonight.' She figured.

She locked the door and made her way into her bedroom. The first thing she did was immediately strip her pants and shoes off, followed by her sweater and scarf, till she was left in only her black panties and jersey bralette. Peridot climbed on top of her bed and rummaged through her bedside drawer.

'Finally, some peace and quiet.' She thought. Her fingers wrapped around a thick orange vibrator she kept on hand for days like these. While she hadn't gotten laid in well over a year, she was certainly no stranger to 'doing some handiwork'.

She lay back and relaxed, letting her brain take over to create something _stimulating_ for her to enjoy. Of course she immediately thought of Jasper, wearing nothing but a black, lacy set of lingerie. Simple, but effective. She imagined kissing the beautiful woman; on her full, plump lips, down her neck and through the valley of her shapely breasts. She wanted to trace the muddled lines of the pale patches of vitiligo that bloomed in stripes across her face and hands and chest.

Fantasy-Jasper ran her hands up and down the curve of Peridot's back while she sucked bruises into her neck and collarbone. Peridot shimmed out of her bra and brought her fingers up to tweak and pull at her own nipples, pretending that Jasper was the one doing it to her, teasing her about how small and cute they were. She could almost feel the way Jasper's hot breath would tickle her neck as she brought her fingers down lower and lower, teasing her every step of the way, until they reached her dripping core.

Peridot pushed aside her panties and teased her own fingers at her opening, sliding the slick juice around her hole and onto her aching clit. She thrummed her fingers against the sensitive nub until her back arched off the bed and let out a breathy moan. Her body absolutely ached for Jasper's touch, but this is what she had to work with. She imagined she could rip off Jasper's bra and kiss and suckle the woman's luscious full breasts while the woman throatily begged for more.

Eventually, Peridot couldn't take it anymore, and she flung her panties off into a far corner of her room. The vibrator buzzed to life and Peridot took her time dragging it over the sensitive peaks of her nipples, shuttering at the feeling, and down over the flat expanse of her belly. Finally she bought it down to her dripping opening, imaging Jasper leaning over her, fingers just twitching to enter her. And with a jerk of her wrist, she plunged the toy inside of her, letting out a breathy _oh yes Jasper please._ She worked the thick shaft of the vibrator in and out, in and out in a steady rhythm, like she imagined being worked by the thick fingers of Jasper's hand. Her other hand focused on playing with her wet clit.

Peridot could feel she wouldn't last much longer at this. Her hips shook to meet with every thrust of her hand and her legs felt like jelly. Fantasy-Jasper licked her fingers on her other hand and used them to double the effort on her throbbing clit. Peridot thrummed her clit faster and faster, moving it in circles, _oh yes oh yes oh yes so close Jasper so close._

Finally, she felt that familiar warmth begin to bubble up from within her. A few more well timed thrusts and Fantasy-Jasper pleading, ' _you look so fucking hot Peri. Cum for me, please'_ into her ear, and Peridot lost it. Her core twitched and spasmed, pleasure washing over her in long, languid waves until she slowly floated back down to earth. She let out a relieved sigh and slid the toy out with a wet squelch.

She couldn't be bothered to clean up her sweaty, sticky mess. A quick, post-orgasm nap sounded like a much better plan.


	5. Chapter 5: Coffee Semantics

Author's Note: Well, here we are again. My apologies for the long wait, but this chapter ended up being double the length of my normal chapters ANNNNND JasmineJaspers was beautiful and wonderful enough to proof-read this disaster for me. So it took some extra time to sort out.

Speaking of which, she was also amazing and drew a SUPER NSFW Peridot from chapter 4 *fans self*. Please please please check that out on Jaspurgatories page on Tumblr.

It's incredible. Go check SU art blog at JasmineJaspers on Tumblr as well

Once again, THANK YOU to everyone who left comments, or kudos, or reached out to me on tumblr. You are all so sweet and kind and it really makes me feel like writing this silly thing is totally worth it. You guys are the best! 3

If you haven't already, you can find me at succubitchxoxo on tumblr - I'd love to talk headcanons, Jaspidot, or just SU in general.

PLEASE BE WARNED. THIS CHAPTER IS INCREDIBLE NSFW

Chapter 5: Coffee Semantics

Another miserable Monday morning and Peridot was back at the lab again, already on her second cup of coffee for the day. So far, the morning was dragging on, and she wondered if she even needed to worry about Thanksgiving because she was positive this day would never end. It might not be so bad if she was actually getting work done, but so far she had read the same sentence eight times and still wasn't connecting the dots in her brain. If this report didn't want to get done, she was going to have to move onto something else, lest Garnet have her head for slacking off.

Across the room, Pearl hummed happily to herself, reorganizing the samples she had collected.

 _Well, someone's in a good mood. Probably got laid this weekend. Lucky._ Peridot thought glumly. How was Miss Prissy Britches getting some on the regular while she had to make due with hiring a fake girlfriend? It just wasn't fair. Still, she was going on this 'practice date' with Jasper tomorrow and they were supposed to act like a real couple. Peridot wondered if maybe that might include a practice kiss, or two. Hey, a girl could dream, right?

Peridot grumbled some more and sipped at her coffee. Answering a few emails might help speed things up, right?

She heard a rattling buzz in her desk drawer, meaning someone had sent her a text - which was strange, because no one normally texted her during working hours. She hoped there wasn't some kind of emergency. She popped the drawer open and pulled out her cell to find one new message alert from Jasper.

 _Jasper? What does she want? Does she want to back out of our agreement?_ Peridot felt a sense of dread well up in the pit of her stomach. She opened the message.

Jasper's message said: 'Hey Peri. How's your morning? _'_

 _That's it? She wants to know how I'm doing?_ Was she just being friendly or was she trying out the fake-girlfriend routine? Peridot honestly didn't know, but went along with it.

Peridot's fingers tapped rapidly across the screen.

 _'_ Hey Jasper. It's crazy slow and boring. And my coworker is in a super good mood and it's pissing me off. How are you? _'_

Her phone buzzed back with Jasper's reply after a few short moments.

 _'_ Haha. That blows. I know the feeling though. This jackass kept trying to chat me up while I'm on the treadmill. Now he's staring at me while lifting weights. I want to punch his lights out _.'_

Peridot felt her temper flare at the notion that some loser was hitting on Jasper, but was secretly kind of relieved that she clearly wasn't interested in him. But why was she bothering to tell her this?

She chuckled and typed back her response.

'Do it. Tell him to fuck off. What a creep _._ '

Again, Jasper's response buzzed through within moments.

 _'_ Sort of did. I told him I had a girlfriend. Well, that, and I'd call security on his ass if he didn't leave me alone. That worked. I would have knocked him out myself, but the last thing I need is to get fired _.'_

Her stomach filled with butterflies as she read over the text. Jasper said she had a girlfriend – she was talking about her, right? Peridot didn't think she'd agree to their bargain if she was already seeing someone. Still, Jasper was texting her just to chat, so even if their relationship was a sham, maybe they could be friends when all of this was over.

Peridot was feeling playful. 'I could hit him with my car if you want.' She suddenly remembered she was still on the clock and hastily added, 'I gotta get back to work now. I hope the rest of your day is better though.'

The cell buzzed one last time. 'Haha. No need, I handled it. Have fun at work, nerd.' Jasper's message ended with a little winking emoji.

Peridot grinned and stuck the phone back in the drawer.

"Well, somebody is in a much better mood." Ah, fuck. Now Pearl wanted to know what was up.

"Yeah. I guess I just had a good weekend, is all."

"Oh, goodness! Me too! Don't tell me, you met someone? I can tell by the way you were smiling at your phone." Pearl looked absolutely ecstatic for her. She was a good friend, if not a little too enthusiastic for Peridot's tastes.

Fuck it. Might as well live it up. "Yeah, I kinda did. We went out for coffee and we're going out for dinner tomorrow," Peridot sheepishly admitted. Pearl didn't need to know the whole story, just enough to keep her from nagging Peridot about needing to get out and interact more.

"Oh, that's wonderful, Peri!" She threw her arms around Peridot. "I just knew you would meet someone soon!"

"Yeah, well, it's nothing official, so don't get too excited."

"Oh, no matter! Just take things slow is what I always say! No need to rush. I'm just glad you seem happy." Pearl gave Peridot a genuine smile.

"I take it you had a good weekend with Amethyst?"

Pearl blushed a little, looking like she was flashing back to some of the better parts of her weekend. "Oh yes we did. Not only did she get rid of her roommate for a little while, but she also cleaned up the entire apartment. I was very impressed with her."

"Sounds like you got her whipped, Pearl." Peridot cackled and made a whip cracking motion with her hand.

"I do not!" Pearl turned up her nose at Peridot.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, Pearl. As long as you both had fun." Peridot turned back to her computer screen and saved the draft she had been working on. It wasn't getting finished anytime soon, so she might as well be productive doing something else. Pearl just sighed dreamily and went back to her plastic containers.

The rest of the day wasn't much better, but eventually they both got through it. Peridot was proud to report she had made some significant progress on programming her robonoids; everything else had gotten thrown on the back burner, though.

Peridot shucked her lab coat off and onto her chair and was gathering up the rest of her things when Pearl came over and grabbed her into a quick hug.

"I hope you have fun having the office to yourself tomorrow. Try not to nap at your desk either. And, of course, have a good Thanksgiving! I hope everything goes okay with your mother….Did you talk to her at all? Is she still making you go on that date?" Pearl rambled off.

"Don't worry, Pearl. I have everything under control; here and with my mother. Enjoy your holiday and say 'hi' to Amethyst for me, okay?"

Pearl nodded and gave her one last hug before running out the door. It wasn't long before Peridot followed suit.

Peridot beat Lapis home for once, so she decided to be a nice roommate and make dinner for the both of them. She wasn't an amazing cook, but she could make a few things pretty well and get by for the most part. Still, she was sure Lapis would appreciate the effort. And pasta was pretty much fool proof.

While the water was boiling, she made the bold decision to text Jasper and see how she was doing. Just something friendly to do, she told herself. A small part of her hoped that maybe once this ordeal was over that maybe they could stay in touch as friends. Besides Lapis, Pearl, and a few others, Peridot didn't have many people she considered friends, and why not make the best of a weird situation? After their coffee date, Peridot found herself actually liking the tough, but oddly nice woman. She just needed to get past the fact she found her painfully attractive.

So she shot her a few messages asking how her day was, trying to pick up where their last chat left off. Jasper returned her messages, also asking if she had had any more contact with her mother. Fortunately, she hadn't heard from her. It was unusually silent on her mother's end and Peridot wondered if maybe she had pushed back against her a little too far.

She pulled her portion of pasta out of the pot and onto a plate. Lapis still wasn't home yet, but she had the company of Jasper's text conversation to keep her distracted. The other woman was incredibly easy to talk to, which was maybe why Peridot had been able to gather the courage to make such a ridiculous request in the first place. But the more they talked and connected with each other, the more real this fake relationship felt, and Peridot worried she was starting to believe her own lie.

Peridot has just asked about some of the classes Jasper taught when Lapis burst through the door, bringing with her the stench of chlorine from the pool where she lifeguarded. She joined Peridot at the table with her own plate of food, muttering, "I'm so fucking hungry" before diving in. Peridot remained focused on her phone.

"Who you texting?"

"Jasper."

"Ooooo, your giiiiirlfriend." She crooned like an obnoxious brat on the playground. "Don't get too attached, she's only yours until the stroke of twelve on Thursday, Cinderella." She laughed at her own terrible joke and shoved another fork full of pasta into her mouth.

She scoffed. "I know that. We're just being friendly. The more we know about each other, the easier it will be to convince my mother that we're really dating."

"You've only known her a couple of days. Are you going to be able to pull that off with a few text messages between the two of you?"

"It won't be easy. I know we basically have no time to try and get this right." Peridot turned away, looking a bit embarrassed. "And tomorrow, we're going to go on a date. So we can practice for real. In public."

"Woah woah woah. Hold the phone, Peri. You didn't tell me that. You asked her on a date? Good for you, girl. Look at you, so confident all of a sudden. I like it."

"Yeah, except I didn't ask her on a date. Jasper asked me."

"Wait. So this was your plan, but Jasper asked you on a date? Sounds like she's trying to flip the script on you."

"What? No. There's no way. She's just helping me out." Peridot waved off any notion that Jasper might actually want to date her, although she was kind of a flirt. Lapis, on the other hand, didn't seem so convinced.

"Okay, sure. But what's the deal with you? Do you like her or are you just really horny and she's the hottest thing on two legs who's ever talked to you?"

"….Yes?"

Lapis rolled her eyes. "Fine. So you're definitely horny, you might like her, and Jasper seems to be going out of her way to talk to you and spend time with you. Maybe you could get something more out of this," she reasoned, pushing the remains of her meal with her fork. "Why not just have a one-night stand with her and just get it out of your system? I mean, she's already taking you out to dinner." Lapis waggled her eyebrows suggestively at Peridot, who unenthusiastically glowered back.

"Can I even do that? I've never had a one-night stand before. Wouldn't this just complicate things?"

"Well, sure you can! As long as it's mutually consensual, why the hell not? And it's only complicated if you make it complicated. I've done this plenty of times and it's turned out fine. You're an adult, Peri, you can make your own decisions."

Peridot wasn't so sure she was capable of having _just_ a one-night stand with Jasper, assuming she even consented to it. She had never slept with someone she didn't at least have some sort of relationship with, which, granted, was only two (short-lived) previous girlfriends. Plus that one drunken night in college with Lapis. Which they tried not to talk about.

She just didn't have the greatest track record when it came to feeling comfortable enough with someone to actually sleep with them. Her life as a nerdy, awkward shut-in might have had something to do with that.

But, maybe it was worth trying, just this one time? If she managed to do it, she would get to die happy knowing she slept with the hottest woman she'd ever met. And if she failed, well, Peridot would just have to live with embarrassing herself in front of the hottest woman she'd ever met.

"I could give it a shot?" She didn't sound too sure of herself.

"Don't sound so enthusiastic." Her roommate jeered. "But first, you should definitely find something better than the crap you normally wear out of the house. No flannel, nerdy t-shirt, and jeans. This is your chance to really play the part up."

"I don't know, Lapis. I don't want to make it look like I'm trying too hard."

"Honey, you had to go out of your way to hire a fake girlfriend to bring to your mom's house for Thanksgiving so she'll get off your back about being single. You're _way_ past the point of trying too hard. Now quit your bitching and figure out what your going to wear tomorrow, because if she's as hot as you say she is _and_ you want to sleep with her, you might as well go for gold." Thank you, Life Coach Lapis.

Fortunately for Peridot, Lapis took the reins and did all the work for her, taking her friend shopping through her own closet. She tried on outfits like a bad 80s montage in a cheesy teen movie, torn between grumbling at her distaste of dressing up and laughing at the absurdity of Lapis' choices. The next thirty minutes of Peridot's life were a whirlwind of tops and skirts and dresses and shoes. Fashion was fucking exhausting.

Eventually, they came up with a combo they both seemed to approve of. Lapis explained she wouldn't be home tomorrow when Peridot left for her date, so it was up to her to get ready and do her own make up. Peridot huffed and whined that she wasn't a child and was capable of handling herself, though deep down she wanted Lapis to be there for moral support

They finished up the rest of the night on the couch together, watching reruns of _Under the Knife_. Lapis, who had no concept of personal space, had her legs splayed out across Peridot's lap, while Peridot sank back into the couch, sneaking peeks at her phone for any new texts from Jasper. The warm sofa and the heated living room were making Peridot incredibly drowsy, and she longed for the comfort of her own bed. She squirmed out from under Lapis' legs and said goodnight to her before sleepily dragging herself back to her room.

After stripping off her clothes and wiggling into what she considered her pajamas, she crawled under the covers, cell phone in hand, and settled in to her pillows. With her phone, she typed a quick 'goodnight' to Jasper, hoping that she wasn't coming off as too needy, and hit the send button.

Of course, now that she was actually trying to fall asleep, she lay wide-awake instead. She kept feeling nervous and jittery, thinking of the day she had planned for tomorrow. She needed to get to sleep though, because she still had to be an adult and show up for work the next day. The cell buzzed in her hand with a message back from Jasper. She opened the text and inside was a simple 'good night Per' with a smiley face next to it. The corners of her lips pulled into a smile as she hugged the phone to her chest. God, she felt like a dumb teenager with a crush. Clutching the phone to herself, she managed to settle down long enough to slip into a deep sleep, thinking about dinner dates and a tall, dark-skinned woman.

By the next day, Peridot couldn't tell if she was excited or scared shitless by her real-not-real date with Jasper, especially after Lapis put the idea in her head that maybe, just maybe, Jasper liked her enough to make an excuse to spend more time with her. It was possible, right?

The whole day was quiet without Pearl flitting around and organizing everything. Even though Peridot found her to be a bit of a nuisance at times, she kind of missed not having her at work. A terrible part of her wanted to ask Pearl for advice on what she should do tonight, but that was clearly a sign she was getting desperate.

Around two o'clock, Garnet popped her head into the small office and announced that everyone could leave early to get a jump-start on their holidays. Peridot thanked her boss and wished her a nice holiday before running out the door with the rest of the lab techies.

The apartment was completely empty by the time Peridot made it back. She had more than a few hours to kill before her date. She texted Jasper a quick 'Are you still good for tonight?' which was met with a 'Sure am' and a kissy face emoji from Jasper. At least that was settled

With not much else to do, Peridot took a quick nap to refresh herself. When 5 rolled around, she decided she should get ready. She stripped off her work clothes and pulled out the outfit Lapis and she had picked out yesterday. She discarded the panties she had on and traded them for a black, lacy pair she kept on hand for special occasions. Then she switched to the pushup bra that Lapis had insisted she wear.

"There's not much to push up," she grumbled aloud to herself. Still, while her breasts might certainly be lacking, her backside was shapely enough to make up for it. The high-waisted skirt Lapis had picked out for her was certainly evidence to that, as Peridot struggled to get it over her hips. She put the rest of the outfit on and went to the bathroom to figure out her makeup situation. After the first few mess-ups, Peridot was glad she'd given herself extra time to do this. It took a few attempts, but Peridot finally got the look down, thanks to a YouTube makeup tutorial. She was strangely proud of the result, natural like Lapis had done it, but with a bit more of a sexed-up flair. How was it that she was 26 and finally starting to act 'girly'? The past 72 hours had clearly taken a serious toll on the young woman.

Lastly was dealing with her hair, which she had gotten lazy about and let grow out a few inches past what she was normally used to having. Not really knowing what to do with it, she clipped it back into a bun at the nape of her neck, in addition to her usual pulled up bangs.

She grabbed the shoes (two-inch heels courtesy of Lapis) and, fuck it, the purse, too. Peridot looked herself over in the mirror and deemed herself actually kind of attractive. It scared her a little bit how a bit of effort had turned her from drab science nerd to attractive human being who goes on 'dates'. But maybe she was being too hard on herself. It wasn't like she didn't date anyone as a drab science nerd; it was just that she hadn't dated anyone in a long time.

But there wasn't time to dwell on her past. The alarm she set on her phone went off, which meant she needed to be out the door to go meet Jasper.

The Crab Shack was a popular spot for the local couples of Beach City and had a surprisingly nice atmosphere for a place called "The Crab Shack". It was best known for its outdoor patio that gave a gorgeous view of the ocean, especially at sunset. But it was November, so there would be no romantic sunset watching with Jasper, unless they both felt like freezing their butts off. Still, it was perfect for a nice dinner between the two women while they finalized their Thanksgiving game plan.

Peridot was a few minutes early when she pulled into the parking lot, but was surprised to find Jasper had beaten her there. The tall woman was standing outside the entrance waiting for Peridot, dressed in a fitted button up shirt and dark slacks. Her wild blonde hair had been swept up into a high pony tail and all Peridot could think about was tangling her fingers into it and pulling on it while they shared a heated kiss. If this was all that it took to get Peridot going, she knew she was in for trouble.

She got out of the car and walked up to Jasper, heart thudding rapidly in her chest. Jasper noticed her approaching and waved her over to where she stood. She grinned behind thick lashes, her eyes now accented with perfectly winged black eyeliner.

"Hey you. Wow, you look great." Jasper gave her a once over and Peridot felt a twinge of pride for her efforts. "All ready to go?"

"Yeah. All set."

"Let's do it, then." And Jasper offered her hand to hold. Peridot barely hesitated to slip her smaller hand into hers. And they walked in together, looking just like a real couple.

The two sat at a table and looked over the menu, making small talk. They ordered two beers and their entrees and dismissed their waitress with a polite thank you.

"Alright," Peridot started as she sipped her beer, "let's get our story straight. How did we meet, and how long have we been going out for? Let's just make it convincing."

"Is almost hitting me with your car not a good starting point?" Jasper teased. "Hmmm…We could say we met at a bar? That's easy enough. Or maybe you came to the gym and took a class I teach? It could really be anything."

Peridot snorted out a laugh. "I don't think I'd be caught dead taking an MMA class, Jasper, no offense. I'm a five-foot-two, glasses-wearing science nerd with no physical prowess whatsoever. You'd be scraping what was left of me off the mat."

Jasper laughed. "I don't know about that. When I first met you, you had some serious fight in you. Sure, you're small, but you're pretty feisty, too. I like that. I think with some training you could have held your own."

Well, she did rather like the idea of getting hot and sweaty and rolling around on some mats with this Amazonian goddess, just not the part where they would be punching and kicking each other as well. Peridot tossed the idea around in her brain for a few moments and decided. "Alright, so, let's go with this: Four months ago I sign up for a few classes with you as a way to get into shape. You practice with me, I accidently punch you in the face, I take you out to dinner to apologize, and we've been in love ever since. Ta-da. Done."

"I like it. Very romantic. Especially the punching me in the face part."

"Yeah, I thought you might like that." Peridot snorted.

Jasper nodded and lifted her glass of beer to Peridot. "To our beautiful, four month relationship. It's been great being with you, Peri, and it's gone by so fast. It feels almost like we just met a few days ago. Anyways, I look forward to meeting your mother and getting you out of that arranged date from hell. Cheers."

Peridot laughed and played along, adding that she was ecstatic to be with her as well, clinking their glasses together like they were really sealing the deal.

They finally quieted down when the waitress brought their food. Jasper kept looking up at Peridot, looking like she was going to ask something, but couldn't seem to bring herself to do so.

"Is something the matter, Jasper?"

"Yeah, uhh…I guess I just wanted to know, why me? Why did you ask me, of all people, to do this with you?" She held her hands up defensively. "It's not that I don't want to do this, but I thought maybe you would have at least had someone you knew to be your fake girlfriend."

"No. Not really. I jokingly asked my roommate, Lapis, to do it, but my mom has known her for years and would never fall for it. Wasn't really anyone else to ask either; almost everyone I know is in a relationship right now." Peridot shrugged, looking vaguely dejected. "And I certainly am not seeing anyone right now. I haven't had a serious girlfriend in years. Hell, I haven't even gotten laid in over a year and a half. And even then it was a disaster, thanks to my darling roommate and her drunken antics." Peridot groaned and hid her face in her hands, wondering why the hell she was even admitting this to Jasper in the first place

"Wait. What did she do? Please don't leave me hanging like that. I need to know."

Peridot grumbled but continued. "Fine. So an ex of mine was in town and I invited her over for some...uh.

"Sex."

Peridot could feel her cheeks tinge crimson by this point. She propped up her chin on her hand and tried to avoid looking Jasper in the eyes. "Yes. For sex. Anyway, twenty minutes into it, Lapis stumbles through the front door, drunk off her ass from some party. Well, she must have heard the noises coming from my room or something and decided it would be a hilarious idea to sit outside my bedroom and make fart noises. Loudly. For like a solid five minutes. Total boner killer. So that was basically the end of that." Hopefully the earth would just swallow her whole now.

Jasper laughed mirthfully at her story, wiping at a stray tear from her eye. "Fuck, Peri. That's great. Your roommate sounds like a riot."

"Oh, she's something, alright. I love her, but I want to kill her just a little bit."

"Sounds a lot like my relationship with my roommate. The only reason you and I met on Saturday was because she kicked me out of the apartment at the last minute so she could screw her twig of a girlfriend. Funny how that works out."

As if on cue, Jasper's phone buzzed. She read the message, smiled, and tucked the phone back into her pocket.

"Everything alright?"

"Hmm? Yeah. That was my roommate. She's going out of town for a few days and was just reminding me to feed the cat. No big deal."

They finished up and paid the bill together. Peridot shivered when Jasper carefully put her hand on the small of her back and led her outside to her car. The two women stood out in the freezing cold, just facing each other, neither sure what they should do next.

Jasper tried first. "So, I had a really great time tonight. I think we should be fine for Thursday. I'll just text you my address tomorrow. Yeah, so…" She scratched at the back of her head.

Peridot looked around the parking lot. "Where did you leave your motorcycle? I don't see it anywhere."

"Oh. I don't live that far from here, so I just walked."

"I'll give you a ride back, then. Hop in."

"It's alright Peri, you don't –"

"Jasper, it's fucking freezing out," she added with chattering teeth. The east coast winters were getting so much more brutal every year. Being so close to the frigid ocean didn't help, either. "Get in the car. I'm driving you back."

"Yes, ma'am."

Peridot blasted the heat on her bare legs, wondering why the hell she'd let Lapis talk her into wearing a skirt in the first place. Jasper climbed into the other side and adjusted the passenger side seat to accommodate her long legs. She pulled out of her spot and let Jasper guide her back to her apartment. She didn't live too far from the restaurant, like she said, but it still would have been a good twenty minute walk out in the bitter cold.

She put the car in park just outside the complex where Jasper lived and just let the car idle with the two of them in it. An awkward silence had descended over the two of them, and neither was sure how to break it. Jasper's hand rested on the handle of the door, but she looked conflicted about leaving or not.

Meanwhile, a thousand things raced through Peridot's mind: Should she say goodnight? Would it be too much to lean in and try to get a kiss? Would Jasper laugh at her if she did that? Should she confess that she was incredibly attracted to Jasper and all she wanted to do was rip her clothes off and make sweet, sweet love to her in the back seat of her car? Was she overthinking this?

Jasper cocked her head. "Want to come up and have some coffee with me?"

Close enough.

Peridot felt her heart skip a beat. "Y-yeah. I'd like that." She calmly parked the car and followed Jasper up to her apartment. Jasper took Peridot's wrist in her hand as she led her through the blackened apartment to grope for the light switch.

Once the lights came on, Peridot was surprised to fine a (fairly) clean apartment and a fat yellow tabby now winding itself around her legs. She giggled and reached down to stroke its head while it whined its little 'mews' at her. Jasper chuckled and picked up the cat to hold him like a fat, furry baby. "This is Lion and he loves you already because he thinks you're here to feed him." Peridot giggled and Jasper gestured for her to take a seat on the couch. "I'll put the coffee on, it will only take a minute."

She sat down, waiting for Jasper to return from the kitchen. Looking around, the apartment was nice, if not a bit small, with what looked like a recent effort to tidy things up. There were a few mugs and old receipts scattered around on various surfaces, but overall it looked comfy and lived in.

The couch was worn, but cozy, and Peridot allowed herself to sink into it a bit. The heels she wore were kicked off of her aching feet and tucked aside.

 _Does she want coffee or does she want_ **coffee** _? What do I do? How do I start this? Should I ask or should I just do?_ Peridot hated to admit it, but when it came to trying to seduce someone, her attempts were rusty at best. And this was nowhere near her best. She was setting herself up for a potential train wreck, that she was sure of. A reasonable part of her wanted to run back out the door before Jasper turned around again.

Well, it was too late now. Jasper walked back to the couch, cautiously balancing the steaming mugs, before handing one to Peridot. "You take it black, right?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Thanks." She blew on her coffee to cool it, cautiously keeping an eye on Jasper, hoping she might make the first move. She would be pretty bummed if "come up for coffee" actually meant coming up for coffee.

God. She felt like a stupid, horny, awkward teenager again. She wished she had drunk more at dinner so she didn't feel so self-conscious. A little liquid courage would have been a big help.

Her phone buzzed in her bag. Who could it be this late at night? A part of her dreaded that it might be from her mother, calling to gripe at her again about some nonsense.

"You gonna answer that?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah, I'm just worried it's my mom looking to start trouble." She fished her cell out and looked at the caller. "Huh? Why is my brother calling me now?" She swiped the screen.

"Peedee, is that you? Is everything all right? Why are you calling so late?"

"Hey, Dot. I can't believe it. Mom said you're bringing someone on Thursday, but I don't think she believes you. Are you really seeing someone?"

Peridot rolled her eyes because of course her mom didn't believe her. "Yeah. I'll fill you in later. You'll meet her on Thursday."

"Wait, her? Did you finally come out to mom? Please don't tell me it's Lapis in a wig. It's not gonna work."

"No. She doesn't know. Don't say anything to her, okay? And for god's sake Peedee, no, it's not Lapis. Now if you don't mind, I'm kinda busy-"

"Wait, are you with her now? HI GIRLFRIEND!" He shouted into the phone so loudly she had to pull it away from her ear. "IF YOU HURT MY SISTER, I SWEAR-"

"OKAY, PEEDEE. THAT'S ENOUGH." She interjected. "Shut up. I'm hanging up now. Bye." She shook her head and quickly ended the call.

Jasper hummed beside her. "I didn't know you had a brother."

"Hm? Oh yeah. We're 12 years apart though, so we're not super close or anything. I guess you'll meet him on Thursday."

She nodded and sipped at her coffee.

Peridot swallowed thickly, "So are you really okay with all of this? I'm serious, Jasper, please don't feel like you're obligated to do this, because you're not. My mother is not a nice person and she will not hesitate to cut you down. Anything is fair game. That's just how she is. I don't want to make you go through with that if you don't want to."

Jasper shook her head. "For the last time, Peri, I can handle it. You're not the only one with dysfunctional family members. I'm doing this because I want to do this…. _for you_." She added that last part so quietly, Peridot almost wasn't sure she had said it at all. Her heart pounded in her chest.

They sat facing each other in near silence; their ceramic mugs lay abandoned on the wooden coffee table. The awkward atmosphere was back and it settled around them like a thick, heavy blanket. Peridot knew what she wanted, but could she bring up the courage to ask for it? She didn't think she could take much more of this. She nervously scooted herself closer to Jasper.

Jasper raised an eyebrow. "Sooo….would you like to-"

"I think we should kiss." Peridot blurted out; surprised such a request came from her mouth. "For practice! It would be much more convincing if-"

Jasper caught the back of her neck and pulled her forward into a chaste kiss. Peridot could hardly believe that it worked, eyes wide with shock with lips pressed to Jasper's. It took a moment to recover, but she slid her eyes shut and leaned into the kiss. Her lips were soft and she smelled like cinnamon, but all Peridot could think was an endless mantra of _oh my god she kissed me she kissed me I think she wants to do this too holy fuck she's kissing me._

Jasper pulled away first and smirked down at Peridot, her thumb absently tracing the smaller woman's jawline. "So, was that practice, or did you just want to kiss me?"

She grinned back devilishly, her insecurities shoved aside. "Yes." Her fingers wound themselves into Jasper's hair and tugged her back hard, their lips meeting so forcefully that their teeth clinked together for a moment. Peridot hummed happily as Jasper's hands took the time to brush fingertips up and down her arms, traveling up the column of her neck and rubbing at the sensitive lobe of her ears. Peridot loved the feeling, the warm tingling sensation that remained where Jasper's touch had been, and sighed blissfully into the heated kiss.

Peridot pulled away for air momentarily, a thin strand of saliva still connecting the two, but was just as quickly pulled back into Jasper's embrace. A warm wet tongue caressed the curve of her lips and Peridot allowed Jasper's tongue to slip past, tangling it with her own.

Jasper pulled away and moved down lower, kissing down the curve of her jawline and onto the base of her neck, sucking dark little bruises onto her fair skin. Peridot moaned as her eyes fluttered shut, gripping the other's woman's hair harder. Jasper smiled against Peridot's heated flesh before dragging her teeth along the length of her collarbone, earning her a shiver and a breathy, 'ohhhh Jasper'.

"I like it when you say my name like that," she whispered huskily and reached to cup both of Peridot's breasts through her thin blouse. "Do it again." She held her close and bit down on the juncture of Peridot's neck.

"Unnnfff. Fuck. Jasper!" she cried out as she lolled her head back. Peridot was losing her mind to how good Jasper was making her feel. Her whole body tingled, and all she wanted to do was lie back into the couch and let Jasper do whatever she wanted to her. The room felt unbearably hot and with Jasper hunched overtop of her, Peridot thought she might just melt right into the cushions.

The height difference between the two of them was making their heated makeout session a bit stiffer than either of them liked; even when sitting down, all six-foot-five of Jasper towered over the slight five-foot-two of Peridot. It simply would not do. Peridot knew a change of position was in order. She planted one hand on Jasper's chest and pushed her firmly back into the couch cushions. Her blouse came off next, flung over the side of the couch, revealing the lacy push up bra underneath. She climbed on top of Jasper's lap, straddling her wide hips, and kneeling up so that now they were level with each other. Jasper sucked in a breath and reached for Peridot's waist, pulling her close.

"Hmm…you look good on top," she breathed against her neck, running her hands up and down the curve of her waist, the little dips of her ribs. She traced the silken edge of the bra and kissed the slight swell of Peridot's breast.

Peridot dipped down to the shell of her ear and whispered, "I like being on top," before taking a moment to nibble and suck at an earlobe, earning a shudder and a small moan from the younger woman. She pulled herself back and looked down into Jasper's amber eyes, surprised to see such a look of rapture on her strikingly gorgeous face. Peridot gave a timid smile, the kind that softened her eyes and cutely crinkled her nose a bit. She brought her fingers up to Jasper's face and delicately traced the distinct lines where her tanned skin gave way to a thick, pale stripe of flesh. Jasper looked confused by the sudden tender display, but took Peridot's hand and kissed the tip of each finger. Peridot felt her heart flutter a bit. She directed Jasper back for another quick kiss.

"What was all that for?"

Peridot flushed pink. "I dunno. I just thought you look really pretty. That's all."

Jasper looked honestly surprised by her admission, though it wasn't the first time Peridot called her pretty. "I think you're really pretty too, Peri. And you look cute when you blush like that." She smiled and pulled Peridot back against her.

Jasper's hands found their way to Peridot's bra clasp and unhooked it, sliding the bra down her shoulders and arms. She immediately brought her hands to roughly thumb the sensitive peaks of her nipples, pinching one between her thumb and forefinger. Peridot whined and rocked her hips forward, hoping Jasper would get the hint about where she really wanted to be touched.

Instead, Jasper gave a slight chuckle and bought her lips down to suckle the soft, dusky tip.

"Mmmmpf! Oh yes." Fuck, that felt nice. She tangled her fingers into Jasper's ponytail, giving it a slight pull when Jasper blew a breath of cool air over her slick flesh.

Peridot's deft fingers worked at the buttons on Jasper's shirt. It took all of her patience not to rip the damn thing straight off of her. Once she had it open though, Peridot couldn't help but admire Jasper's body. She looked incredible with clothes on, but underneath, it was better than Peridot could ever imagine. Toned, tanned skin, a chiseled stomach, and perfect breasts. She bent forward to kiss the light patch that crossed the expanse of her chest, then dipping lower to pull down the cup of her bra and capture a hardened nipple between her lips. The larger woman closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh.

Jasper let her hands trail down the length of Peridot's spine to squeeze the dip of her waist. Her fingers teased at the waistband of Peridot's skirt, sliding over the material and roughly grabbing two handfuls of Peridot's ass. Peridot released Jasper's nipple with a surprised 'ack!' and glared at Jasper.

"Damn, Peri. Where have you been hiding this thing?" She laughed and continued to jiggle Peridot's shapely rear. "It's fantastic." She hiked up Peridot's skirt and sunk her fingers into her giving backside.

Peridot made a noise that wasn't quite sure if it wanted to be a whine or a moan, and buried her face into Jasper's neck. Fuck, she was so embarrassed! But, if Jasper thought it was hot, she might as well indulge her. It was certainly making the space between her thighs twinge with need.

And Jasper didn't stop there. Now that the skirt was hiked up, she reached around and traced the panty-covered seam of her ass, stopping when she came down to Peridot's core. "Well, someone is certainly wet." She cupped her palm at the hot, damp spot soaking through her panties. Peridot moaned and nodded, still kneeling and hunched over Jasper, clutching her for dear life.

 _'Oh god this is it this is it touch me touchmetouchmeee…'_ she felt delirious, aching for relief. Jasper must have sensed her desperation because in a moment she hooked a finger through her panties and pushed them aside, exposing the dripping folds of flesh. They dipped at her entrance, spreading the slick juices around her sex and onto her sensitive clit. Peridot moaned and rocked her hips. She just wanted Jasper to fuck her into a stupor. Now.

"Jasper. Please," she whined wantonly.

"Are you sure? Are you ready?"

"Yes, please. I want you so badly."

"Well, since you asked so nicely..." Jasper grinned and ran her fingers back around her opening, teasing her for just a moment more, before sliding one large digit in. Peridot moaned at the intrusion and rocked her hips back onto Jasper's hand. Her hand slowly started thrusting into the tight space, letting Peridot grind herself in abandon against her. Peridot needed more and Jasper was happy to provide, spreading her slick thumb to rub over Peridot's clitoris.

"Oh yes, Jasper, that's it!" And Peridot almost sobbed when Jasper removed her finger, but quickly added a second finger into her. The pressure was intense at first for Peridot; she screwed her eyes shut at the sudden spike in arousal. Still, one strong hand guided her hips, pushing Jasper's thick fingers deeper and deeper. With every thrust, Jasper's thumb brushed roughly against her clit, sending electric shocks up the base of her spine. Peridot loved it. She simply couldn't get enough. Her hips shook to meet every thrust, making a wet sucking sound every time Jasper's fingers slid back to her entrance

Her hips and her breathing were getting increasingly more erratic. Every thrust, every squeeze, was met with Peridot's little mewls of pleasure, arms wrapping tighter around Jasper's neck, as she clung to the larger woman.

She wouldn't last long, she was already so close. Jasper kept thrusting, curling her fingers in towards her most sensitive spot. She felt her core begin to spasm and her legs start to give out. Jasper gripped her tighter, keeping her upright against her, her thumb circling and rubbing against her swollen clit.

"F-fuck! I'm gonna cum," she cried out into Jasper's neck, feeling the waves of pleasure wrack her body as her dripping core clenched against her fingers. Jasper kept rubbing and thrusting, trying to drag out her orgasm as long as possible. Finally her body stopped shaking, and Jasper removed her slick fingers with a soft squelch, letting her fall back into the couch with a blissful sigh.

"Fuck, that was so hot," Jasper muttered, admiring her hand drenched in Peridot's orgasm.

Peridot sprawled across the couch releasing a few euphoric giggles. "That was amazing…" she said rather breathlessly. Her whole body still tingled. Jasper climbed on top of her, eager to kiss her again. Peridot, though still hazy, was more than happy to continue. Her hands immediately trailed down Jasper's toned stomach and to the waistband of her pants, undoing her belt and fiddling with the button. She teased her fingers lower into the elastic of her underwear. Peridot had meant to touch the younger woman here, but got preoccupied once Jasper started working her over with those talented fingers of hers. But now was her chance to turn the tables and pleasure Jasper until she was a heated, panting mess. What a wonderful sight that would be.

She broke away from Jasper's kiss and whispered shyly, "Could I, um, return the favor?"

"Only if you want to." Jasper kissed her cheek.

"I really do." She started kissing a trail down Jasper's neck.

To her confusion, Jasper pulled away from her. "Let's not do it here though. Let's use my bed so we have more room." Jasper pulled them both up from the couch, admiring their current state of sexy dishevelment. "Well, that, and the cat is watching us, and it's freaking me out a bit." Her eyes shifted to the cat on the other side of the room that was staring intently at them.

Peridot laughed and took Jasper's hand. "Lead the way." Jasper pulled her to her room, flicking on the lights and shutting the door behind her. Peridot glanced around the room. It was cozy and warm, with a bed big enough for the two of them to enjoy themselves on. A few articles of clothing littered the floor and Peridot was sure that hers would be joining them soon enough.

Jasper shrugged off the button down shirt that still hung off her arms and tossed it into the pile. Peridot pulled at her pants and Jasper removed those too, followed by her bra.

"Off with this." Jasper tugged at her rumpled skirt and off it came. The two women stood in front of each other, both stripped down to nothing but their panties. Finally getting to see Jasper without her clothes on was even better than Peridot had imagined. The woman was practically a walking wet dream. Jasper reached out and pulled Peridot against her, heated skin meeting heated skin. Peridot took to her tiptoes and pulled Jasper down into another kiss. It was sweet and tender at first, but quickly became more passionate with each woman trying to assert her dominance. Peridot was determined to pleasure Jasper just as much as she had. She let her small hands trace up the curve of Jasper's back before reaching back to the front to grope at her breasts. Jasper let out a soft sigh into their kiss while Peridot explored her body, trying to find the sensitive areas that would make her beg for more.

Peridot was finding that the severe height difference was making it difficult to keep kissing Jasper like this. It was time to put that bed to good use. She pulled away with a smirk before shoving Jasper backwards on to the bed behind her. The taller woman gasped in surprise, landing with an 'oomph!' as the bed frame creaked beneath her.

Peridot wasted no time in climbing onto the bed and on top of Jasper, sliding up between her spread legs. She kissed Jasper again, because honestly, she didn't think she'd ever get tired of it. The other woman was such a good kisser. Peridot worked her way down to Jasper's neck, sucking a few hickeys in for good measure; a little revenge for the dark spots trailing down her own throat. Jasper hummed beneath her, letting out a particularly loud moan when the smaller woman sucked down on a spot just below her ear. Finding a nice weak spot to exploit, Peridot kept licking and sucking at that spot until the woman beneath her was a panting, squirming mess. And god, that was an appealing sight to Peridot.

Peridot sat back up, straddling Jasper's flat stomach and looking down at the blissful haze in her eyes. Jasper reached out and grabbed the thick of her thighs, kneading the fleshy area with her strong thumbs. She sighed and rolled her hips into Jasper.

All she wanted to do now was ravish the woman lying beneath her. She looked perfect sprawled out on the comforter, her platinum blonde ponytail splayed out, haloing her head. Peridot just wanted to have those toned thighs wrapped around her head while she tongued her deeply. Fuck yes. So ready.

Peridot reached behind her head and yanked loose the clip that secured her bun into place and threw it somewhere across the room. She shook out her kinked hair, tossing it around to loosen it up. She went to remove her glasses but Jasper's hand shot out to grab her wrist.

"No, no. Keep them on." She toyed with the waistband of Peridot's panties. "You've got this whole 'naughty librarian' look going for you. It's really fucking sexy." She chewed at her bottom lip, looking absolutely mesmerized at the sight of Peridot on top of her.

Peridot's face heated up and she scoffed, running blunted fingernails down Jasper's sides. "I told you, I'm a scientist, not a librarian."

Jasper shivered, "I know you are, Peri. So, in that case, do you think you could wear the lab coat for me? I'd be into that too." She smirked, clearly enjoying the older woman's unamused expression.

She rolled her eyes and roughly pinched a hardened nipple. "Enough out of you." She leaned over and started kissing her way down Jasper's body, stopping to pay extra attention to her soft breasts and the toned expanse of her flat belly. Her hand slipped beneath black underwear and palmed her dripping sex. Jasper just moaned softly and pushed herself back against Peridot's hand.

Two fingers hooked through the sides of the panties and pulled them down Jasper's long legs. Then she took off her own sopping, mangled panties, just to be fair. With both pairs flung away, Peridot settled herself down between Jasper's thighs. With one arm, she positioned Jasper's leg over her shoulder, sighing as she rubbed her cheek against a warm thigh. She felt absolutely intoxicated by the heady scent of her dripping sex. She ran one finger over the thatch of curls, teasing her way to Jasper's clit, spreading the sticky arousal around her opening.

She pressed one chaste kiss to the inside of her thigh before spreading her sex and laving the flat of her tongue against the sensitive little nub. Jasper groaned. She licked her way up and down, sucking and teasing the tender flesh. The taste of her was incredible.

Jasper rolled her hips to increase the delicious friction Peridot was giving her. Her tongue easily slid into Jasper's slick core and the view she got of Jasper, moaning, head thrown back, and gripping the bed sheets was damn near perfection. She kept up the tonguing until Jasper was begging her to let her come. She looked up and caught the gaze of the other woman, staring lazily at her, parted swollen lips panting for breath. She held Jasper's stare as she pulled away, wiping the trail of juices from her chin with the back of her arm. Peridot smiled as she brought up two fingers and slipped them into her own mouth, making a show of sucking them for Jasper to watch.

"Mmm, fuck, stop teasing me, Peri. I'm so close." She whined deeply. Peridot removed her fingers with a wet pop and brought them back to the twitching opening of Jasper's core. Without warning, she plunged them both in causing the younger woman to cry out and buck her hips. Her fingers relentlessly thrust into her tight slit while Peridot brought her lips to suck her swollen clitoris, never breaking eye contact with Jasper. She was going to savor the look on her face when she made her cum.

She flicked the flat of her tongue against Jasper's clitoris in short, fast strokes. Her body was tense as a coil ready to snap, slurring Peridot's name in shallow breaths. Peridot could tell she was close; her walls were starting to contract around her thrusting fingers.

She looked up at the panting woman through her round glasses, letting their eyes lock. Peridot's fingers curled upwards inside her, until they found that one spot that made her legs quiver, that made her white knuckle the bed sheets. She gave her clit a few more sucks past her lips and that was it. Jasper came with a convulsing, wet rush; thighs clamping against her head, holding Peridot flush against her. The younger woman came back down with a satiated sigh, mercifully releasing the death grip on Peridot's head.

Jasper lazily beckoned and Peridot flopped over next to her; a drained, muddled mess of a person. She had no idea what to do next. Was she supposed to leave? Was it okay if she stayed? Did all of that really just happen? She just slept with the woman she hired to be her girlfriend – and now she was in some sort of weird one-night stand moral grey area.

But Jasper wasn't exactly pushing her out the door. Quite the opposite. The large woman sighed in post-coital bliss, grabbing Peridot and pulling her naked form seamlessly against her, legs tangling into a heap. Mashed together like pieces of a puzzle.

"Should I…Do you - ?" Peridot murmured against her chest.

"Shhh." Was the only answer she got. So it was decided, then. Peridot wrapped her arms around Jasper, who was already snoring lightly, and let herself slip away into sleep.


	6. Chapter 6: Panty Shot

Author's Note:

Did you guys want sappy sweet morning-after cuddles? No? Too bad.  
An extra big thanks to my super, wonderful editor - JasmineJaspers who kicked my ass into gear to make this chapter so so so much better than it was originally. She's the best. Go give her a high-five and check her out on tumblr - JasmineJaspers

Thank you to everyone who has been following this fic and leaving me comments and notes. It really means so much to me!  
If you do any doodles or want to share any headcanons, tell me! I want to know! I love these two trash queens so much~ You can find me at succubitchxoxo at tumblr.  
(I haven't started the last chapter, soooo it's going to be a little bit before it's posted. So I appreciate any bits of encouragement)

 **One last thing** \- I don't mean to sound bitchy or rude, but please don't leave me anon comments that just say "update" or "where's the next chapter". I find it incredibly rude to ask something like that - especially when you don't even bother to say thank you or say what you like about the story. I put a lot of time and effort into writing these chapters and don't ask for payment in return, so to demand that sort of thing is very, very offensive to me. JUST DON'T.

Chapter 6: Panty Shot

When Jasper came to the next morning, she was acutely aware of a slender arm wrapped around her waist, fingers resting gingerly on her belly. She was also aware that the owner of said hand was naked and pressed up against her back, one warm cheek smushed firmly against her shoulder blade.

Even though she was wide-awake, she wasn't quite ready to get up yet, worried that any sudden movements might rouse her sleeping bedmate. Not that she wanted to make a stealthy getaway – there was just a sappy part of her that enjoyed having the cute nerd clinging so snugly to her.

Well, fuck. Jasper didn't want to admit it out loud, but she found herself really liking Peridot. Something about the tiny woman, who was all bark and no bite, really clicked for her. And after the night they'd just had…man oh man, she was in trouble. Jasper couldn't remember the last time someone went down on her like that. Just thinking about the way Peridot smirked at her, right before thrusting her fingers into her pussy, was enough to make Jasper's cheeks burn. Who knew the crying mess from the parking lot would end up being such a good lay?

But that's all this was, wasn't it? Just sex. There was no real 'relationship' between the two of them, just an agreement to fake one for the sake of fending off an antagonistic tiger mom. The sex was just something that had happened…though Jasper had wanted it just as badly as Peridot, it seemed. At some point over the course of the last week, though she wasn't exactly sure when, her flirtatious teasing of Peridot had turned into just plain old flirting.

But now they'd had their night of passion, so what was there left to do besides Thursday's dinner? Jasper had not anticipated something like this happening. As it stood, once Peridot woke up, the two would go their separate ways until they could finish up the deal tomorrow. And when that was done and over with, they would probably go their separate ways for good. For some reason, the thought of that made Jasper feel downright empty.

It was pretty clear to Jasper that Peridot was at least attracted to her, but was she actually _interested_ in her?

Ugh. It was too early to be realizing that she might be more than physically attracted to Peridot.

Jasper shifted herself to keep her arm from going numb. Beside her, Peridot stirred, yawning cutely. Her light touches tickled at the toned expanse of Jasper's stomach, causing her to squirm. She hated the fact that she was so ticklish there.

That seemed to wake Peridot up; the smaller woman's eyes fluttered open and she squinted at her. A shy smile spread across her face. "M-mornin' Jasper," she mumbled, heavy with sleep. "Umm...have you seen my glasses? I can't see that well without them."

Jasper pulled the sheet up over her chest for modesty, feeling suddenly self-conscious in the bright morning sunlight. Fortunately, the glasses weren't that far. They'd fallen on the floor at some point during the night, but seemed relatively unscathed. She reached over and handed them to Peridot, who slid them back on.

"Thanks." The two fell back into silence, hugging the bed sheets to their nude bodies. What was there to say? Should they talk about what happened last night? Did it even matter? Jasper wasn't sure.

What she was sure of was that Peridot looked breathtakingly adorable staring back up at her through her round glasses, her hair mussed in different directions, pink lips slightly parted, a dark trail of love bites highlighted against her fair skin. Jasper realized she wanted nothing more than to push her back into the mattress and ravish her again until the only thing she could say was Jasper's name. She swallowed thickly.

The silence between them was pregnant and heavy; neither woman was really sure what to say to the other. Or maybe they were just too embarrassed to ask.

Peridot was looking down, avoiding Jasper's stare, while she twisted the bed sheets between her fingers. She looked pensive, conflicted, anxious, like the words were threatening to jump off her tongue, but she couldn't bring herself to let them go. The sexy, in-control Peridot from their escapade last night was gone and back was the nervous, shy nerd that she normally was. She was still incredibly cute, though.

"You alright there, Per?" Jasper nudged at the smaller woman's wrist with her index finger.

Peridot snapped out of her trance with a little jolt, turning her head back to look at Jasper. "Huh? Y-yeah. I'm fine." She paused, biting at her lower lip nervously. "I-I'm sorry. I'm so bad at this. I have no clue what to do right now and I'm just making it awkward." She buried her face in her hands.

Jasper chuckled and tried to gently tug Peridot's arms away from her head. "What? What do you mean? It's fine. There's nothing to do but put clothes on." Peridot looked back up at her. "I can make you some coffee too, if you'd like. There's probably not much in the fridge, but I'll makes you some breakfast, if you want something."

 _God_ , Jasper thought, _if anyone saw how much of a fucking sap I'm being right now, my entire reputation of being the toughest, meanest fighter at the gym would be going straight down the toilet._ Cuddling and making breakfast after sex? How much of a dork could she be?

"Wha-? No, no. That's okay, Jasper. You don't have to do that for me. You've done too much already." Peridot looked fraught.

"I don't mind. I wouldn't offer to if I did." Jasper lay back down, stretching her arms above her head. By this point she had already missed her usual morning run, so why not enjoy her bed a little longer? Beside her, Peridot looked torn between lying back down or making a bolt for the door. Tentatively, she lowered herself back onto the pillow, turning on her side to face Jasper.

"You don't have to be nervous, Per. I'm not going to bite you," she teased. "I mean, I did last night, but I think you liked it." She smiled at Peridot's reaction when she let out a tiny squeak and hid her face in the pillow. Jasper would be lying if she said she didn't love getting a reaction out of Peridot. She was just too cute right now.

Jasper nudged Peridot's side. "C'mon, Peri, I'm just messing with you." She tried pulling Peridot back against her and the smaller woman seemed to go along with it, sliding herself up against Jasper's naked body.

Peridot sighed and calmed down for a moment, letting her arms come to wrap around Jasper's neck. The two lay together there silently for some odd minutes, with Jasper half-dozing, feeling perfectly content with resting her chin on Peridot's head. Maybe it was the foggy in-between state of sleep her mind was in or the sweet orange blossom scent of Peridot's hair, but something about all of this just felt right.

Below her, Peridot shifted herself, tangling her legs with Jasper's and hiding her face in the crook of her neck. They seemed to fit together like pieces of a puzzle, as cliché as that was. Jasper could feel Peridot smile against the column of her throat and whisper, almost inaudibly, "This is nice."

Jasper blinked, suddenly more awake than she was a moment ago, startled a bit by the confession. She didn't disagree, though. It felt downright blissful cuddling in bed with the smaller woman - worries about work and fake relationships and family problems and intrusive mothers were the furthest thing from her mind right now.

"Yeah." She hummed and tapped her fingers along the bumps of Peridot's spine. "You feeling better now?"

"Y-yeah. Like I said, I just didn't know what to do and got nervous. I….I thought I should have left last night after we finished. I didn't think you would want me to stick around after that."

"Why would you think that?" She pulled back to look the smaller woman in the eyes.

Peridot blushed under her scrutiny, shifting her eyes to avoid looking directly at Jasper. "I don't know. This is a one-time thing, isn't it? I just thought it would be weird if we woke up together, because we're not really, you know, together."

Jasper rolled her eyes and huffed. "Well, I'm not going to keep you here if you want to leave…"

"No! It's not…- I just…" Peridot went wide-eyed, spilling over her attempts at a coherent sentence. She swallowed nervously. "I guess I just didn't expect you to be so…cuddly?"

Jasper felt her ears burn a little in embarrassment. So she was a little affectionate after sex. What was the big deal?

"I just like to cuddle, alright?" she added with a snort. "Sorry for not being the big, tough, jock-type one-hundred-percent of the time."

Peridot looked up at her through her round glasses and giggled, and Jasper could swear her own heart skipped a beat. How was it that she was so taken with the feisty little nerd?

"That's pretty cute, Jasp," Peridot said between giggles.

"Yeah, yeah. Just don't tell anyone I'm a sap, okay?" She reached up and tousled Peridot's already disheveled hair, smiling when the smaller woman tried to squirm away.

"Stop that!" she swatted at Jasper's hands before returning her face to the crook of Jasper's neck. Jasper held Peridot close, enjoying the playful attitude that had settled between the two of them, feeling like this was something the two of them could do every morning. She sighed in contentment, relishing the feeling of Peridot's soft, naked form pressed against hers. Was it weird to continue from where they'd left off last night? She was sorely tempted to find out.

Her finger traced along the shell of Peridot's exposed ear, eliciting a shudder from the older woman, who popped her head back up. Jasper took the opportunity to press her lips down to the love-bitten juncture of her neck, hoping to add a few more to the collection that had already bloomed there. Her hands trailed down to Peridot's waist, where she grabbed and kneaded her hipbones with her strong thumbs.

Peridot yelped at the sudden attack on her body, tangling her fingers in Jasper's hair. She squirmed away from her, much to Jasper's confusion. Wasn't Peridot the one who'd tried coming on to her last night?

"Wait, wait! Hold on for a second," Peridot gasped. Jasper reluctantly released her from her grip, a small frown starting to pull at the corners of her lips. What was wrong now?

"Um…" Peridot looked away shyly. "Could I use your bathroom first? I need to pee."

Oh.

Jasper chuckled in spite of herself. "Yeah. Out the door and to the left, over by the kitchen."

Peridot smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. Thanks. I'll be right back." She didn't bother with finding clothes, instead just stealing a sheet from Jasper's bed and wrapping it around herself as a makeshift cloak.

While Peridot scurried out the door to her bedroom, Jasper slid herself out of bed and threw a clean pair of underwear on, rummaging around to find her cell phone. The device was basically dead, still tucked away in the pocket of her discarded pants from last night. She flipped through it idly, waiting for Peridot to return, but seeing that there were no new messages, plugged it back into its usual wall charger.

She could hear the toilet flush from the bathroom and Peridot shuffling though the living room when the sounds of her footsteps suddenly stopped.

"Jasper?" she called out.

"What's up?" Jasper left her bedroom to see where Peridot had wandered off to, still wearing nothing but her underwear. She wasn't really ashamed of her nudity. If anything, she was proud of her toned and well-kept physique.

Peridot stood in the small living room, intently examining a picture frame on the shelf. Her bed sheet cloak had now transitioned into something more resembling a toga.

"Umm...how do you know Amethyst?" She pointed at an old picture of Amethyst and Jasper hanging out together at a party - a memento from their college days together. Peridot tilted her head at Jasper.

And who could blame her? Jasper's own face was twisted in confusion as well. "She's my roommate. Wait…how do _you_ know Amethyst?"

"I mean, I've only met her once or twice…she's Pearl's girlfriend. Pearl's my coworker…well, she's my friend, too...Wait…That means you're the roommate she's always bitching about!"

 _Of course Twiggy talks shit about me,_ Jasper thought with a grimace. Jasper had walked in on Amethyst and Pearl fooling around once when she had said she was going to be out, and now she was never going to hear the end of it. For fuck's sake, this was her apartment, not Pearl's.

"I guess so. Small world, huh?" Jasper shrugged and wondered if Peridot was the moody, shut-in lab technician Pearl had mentioned a while back.

Peridot nodded beside her. She looked back at Jasper and was caught like a deer in the headlights, blatantly ogling Jasper's mostly-naked body.

"Nice toga, nerd." Jasper snickered and poked her on the tip of her nose.

Peridot swatted her finger away and made her way back to Jasper's room, muttering something about finding her clothes, with Jasper following close behind.

Peridot was crawling around on the floor, trying to find the pieces of last night's outfit mixed in with the clothes Jasper had scattered about on the carpet. Jasper gave a deflated sigh. So much for trying for round two.

Jasper followed suit, putting her bra on and slipping into a clean pair of pants. Peridot still hadn't put her clothes on, but instead seemed to be frantically digging around under Jasper's bed for something - her plump ass sticking up into the air.

"Jasper?" she whined. "Have you seen my panties? I can't find them and I don't know where I threw them last night."

Jasper had been fiddling with her phone while she waited for Peridot to get dressed, not realizing what she had been looking for. It only took a moment for her to spot them, mostly because they weren't on the floor at all.

Peridot's black, lacy panties were hanging off of a thumbtack on the wall opposite her bed. When she flung them off last night during their tryst, they must have gotten caught on the nub of the pushpin that secured her Beyonce poster to the wall.

Jasper switched her phone to camera mode and let out a bark of a laugh. "Found them." She moved across the room to position the camera to take a picture. "Nice shot, Peri."

Peridot jumped up from the spot near the bed and scrambled over on all fours to grab the underwear before Jasper could take a picture, but was stopped by the arm Jasper held out to block her.

"No! Jasper! Don't take a picture of that!" She whined and ineffectively smacked at the bulk of Jasper, who just laughed instead.

"Aww, c'mon, Peri. That was an excellent throw." She snapped a quick photo of the panties. "I think Queen Bey would be really proud of you."

Peridot scowled beside her at the picture on her screen. "What are you going to do with that? I don't want that up on the internet." She shoved past Jasper and snatched the panties from the wall.

Jasper was still chuckling at the picture. "Nahh. I wouldn't do that to you. It's for my eyes only. I'm going to treasure it forever." Peridot slid the black underwear back on. "Those panties look way better on you than they do my wall, though." She added with a lewd smirk.

Peridot playfully smacked Jasper in the arm and started putting on the rest of her clothes. Jasper walked out of the room again and into the kitchen to make them both some coffee and maybe something resembling breakfast. Although, checking the clock in the kitchen, it was getting to be closer to lunchtime. She set the coffee machine to run and leaned back against the counter, waiting for when Peridot would join her.

The smaller woman emerged from Jasper's room, poking her head out from around the corner. She wore only the skirt from last night, with one arm draped over her slight breasts for modesty. Jasper watched curiously from the kitchen as she went back over to the living room to pick up the missing remains of last night's outfit. She picked up the bra and the blouse that she had thrown over by the couch and worked on putting them back on, struggling a bit with the back clasp on her bra. Jasper couldn't help but smile at the display. Peridot noticed she had an audience and stuck her tongue out at Jasper.

"C'mere 'Dot, I'll help you."

Peridot's cheeks darkened a bit, but she reluctantly went over to Jasper, who fit the delicate clasps together for her.

"Thanks," she muttered softly before slipping her top over her head.

Back in the kitchen, the coffee finished brewing, and Jasper worked on divvying up the hot brew between two mugs for herself and Peridot. She passed a mug to the smaller woman, who accepted it graciously, before rummaging through the fridge to find something she could pass off as breakfast for the two of them. Judging by the sad display in front of her, Jasper was more than a little overdue to do some grocery shopping.

"Sorry Peri, looks like you have a choice between toast and…more toast. There's not much else."

"That's more than enough, Jasper. Thank you." Peridot leaned against the counter and sipped at her coffee while Jasper placed the slices of bread in the toaster. While the bread heated up, Jasper worked on setting out food for Lion, lest she forget and catch hell from Amethyst. He could benefit from skipping a meal now and again, seeing how much weight the little fatty had been putting on. Amethyst spoiled him too much.

The moment the food hit the bowl, Lion slinked his way out of Amethyst's room and into the kitchen to wind himself around Jasper's legs, purring like a jet engine. "Yeah, good morning to you, too." She reached down to roughly pet his head before laying out the bowl of food, which he instantly ignored her for.

Jasper glanced over and caught Peridot staring at her over the rim of her mug, watching intently, with the corners of her mouth turned up into a small smile. She seemed almost captivated by the sight of Jasper playing with the rotund feline.

"What are you smiling at?" Jasper teased with a smirk.

Peridot jumped a little, not aware she had been caught staring at the cute display between Jasper and Lion. "N-nothing!" she stammered out and turned away.

Next to her, the toaster popped out their breakfast and Jasper fetched them both plates to eat from, passing one to Peridot.

"What do you take on your toast? Butter, jam, peanut butter?"

"Butter is fine, thanks."

The two ate their food leaning up against the kitchen counter tops, loudly crunching their bites. Every few moments or so, Peridot would sneak a glance in Jasper's direction, though it wasn't as subtle as she thought it was. Jasper could read her easily.

She cocked a dark brow at the smaller woman. "So, you want to talk about it?"

Peridot audibly swallowed at the question. "Wha-? Oh…um…yes." She turned her head. "I think so." Well, she certainly wasn't being straightforward about it

Jasper shrugged and downed the rest of the contents of her mug. "Okay. Shoot. Let's hear it."

Peridot chewed at her bottom lip, looking apprehensive about continuing. She set her mug down, but only so she could nervously wring and twist her hands together. She visibly squirmed under Jasper's curious gaze. "I…I had a lot of fun last night," she started. "At dinner with you. I really liked that." Her cheeks flushed a deep red at her admission and her lower lip began to tremble in trepidation for what she might say next. Instead of looking back at Jasper, her eyes fixated on a small stain on the floor by her feet.

 _What is this about?_ Jasper couldn't help but wonder. "I had a lot of fun too, Peri," she offered back with a smile.

Peridot looked back up at her, clearly trying to steel her nerves for whatever she was about to say, giving a loud exhale before she spoke. "And, last night together…that was _amazing._ I can't stop thinking about it." She paused. "I know I'm the one who asked you to do all of this – to be my fake girlfriend to get my mother off my back and go out with me a few times to make sure it was convincing…but, the more I saw you and got to know you, the harder it was to convince myself that this is all just for show.

"And after the night we had together…I'm sorry, Jasper. I screwed up. I should have never let myself get so wrapped up in this." She hid her face behind her hands, trying to shield the hot red flush spreading across her cheeks.

It took Jasper a few moments to fully process what Peridot was telling her and let it sink in. When it finally hit her, she let out a delighted laugh and pointed straight at the flustered woman. "You have a crush on me!" she accused.

She let out an indignant squawk. "Wha-! How could you- I don't…maybe," she lied.

"You do! Don't lie to me, Peri," Jasper teased. Across from her, Peridot crossed her arms and stuck out her tongue to blow a nice, wet raspberry. "Hey! Don't get cheeky with me." Jasper's lips spread into a full, shit-eating grin as she crossed the small kitchen to approach Peridot. Her tall, athletic figure absolutely dwarfed the smaller woman as she leaned over and rested both hands on either side of Peridot.

"I think you do," she purred deeply.

Peridot just sighed and rolled her eyes at Jasper. "Fine. You caught me." One hand came up and lightly grasped at Jasper's forearm - the one that lost all of the pigmentation from her vitiligo - while the other gingerly traced the curve of her strong jawline. Jasper softened at her touch, her heart fluttering in her chest as Peridot's gentle fingertips brushed against her skin.

 _Fuck, she looks so cute right now._ Jasper brushed some of Peridot's messy bangs away from her eyes. "I think I like you, too."

The smaller woman sighed in relief and smiled broadly, looking up at her through her round frames. Then in a breathy whisper she asked, "Can we kiss now?"

A cocky grin turned up the corner of her lips as she grabbed the small of Peridot's waist and roughly closed the gap between them. Peridot, now that she was flush against Jasper, seemed to finally take the hint and brought her arms up to wrap around the larger woman's neck.

"Yeah," she drawled lazily, dipping her head closer towards Peridot, "We can kiss now."

Peridot's brown eyes looked hazed over behind her glasses, while she mumbled out a languid, "cool." Jasper tangled one hand into her soft, blond hair and seamlessly pressed their lips together, leaning the smaller woman back against the countertop. There was a warmth spreading in her chest because something about holding Peridot tight against her just felt so, so right.

Peridot hummed with pleasure into the kiss and allowed herself to be pushed back against the counter, never breaking away from the heated embrace with the younger woman. Her fingers twisted into the thick hair at the top of Jasper's neck and massaged her scalp, earning a deep groan from the larger woman.

She slipped past Peridot's lips and tangled their tongues together, relishing in how warm and soft she felt against her. Jasper's hands ran up her back, tracing the bumps of her spine, while Peridot sucked and nibbled at her bottom lip. She let out a soft moan and dragged her fingernails down the smaller woman's back, causing her to cry out, no doubt leaving trails of red markings in her wake.

Peridot smirked against Jasper's skin before kissing a trail along her cheek until she reached the sensitive lobe of Jasper's ear, tracing it with her tongue before rolling it gently between her teeth.

"Unnnf, fuck, Peri, I love it when you do that." She sucked in a breath and grabbed at Peridot's shapely hips and grinded them against her own. She was a little annoyed the smaller woman already knew how she liked to have her ears toyed with. Jasper made a mental note to find a spot that would drive her absolutely wild. It would certainly be easier once she got her clothes off again.

And Jasper could hardly wait to bury her face between the thick of Peridot's soft thighs. That would certainly make the smaller woman scream her name. Between Peridot's soft gasps of pleasure and the way her fingers gently tugged her closer by her hair, Jasper contemplated just fucking her right there on the counter. She was pretty sure Amethyst and Pearl had done worse around the apartment, so why not consider this her revenge? She was so aroused as it was, it seemed like a great idea.

Two large hands grabbed Peridot at the waist and lifted her to sit on the counter behind her. The older woman yelped and Jasper had to chuckle at that, kissing the corner of her jaw. "What? I thought you liked being on top," she murmured against her warm skin.

"Give me some warning first!" Peridot whined and snapped the strap of Jasper's bra playfully. The taller woman just pulled her forward to kiss her again, running her hands up and down Peridot's sides, causing the scientist to shiver. Jasper returned to the front to cup her perky breasts when –

 _BZZZZZZZZT_

_BZZZZZZZZZZZZZT_

_BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT_

They froze, startled by the incessant buzzing, still connected at the lips. Paralyzed in place, like they had just somehow been caught in the act – Jasper's hand still halfway up Peridot's shirt. Peridot pulled away and looked over into the living room where she had abandoned her purse and her phone last night.

"I think that's my phone…" she trailed off.

Jasper held her tight at the waist. "Ignore it," she ordered, and bent forward to nibble on her neck.

Peridot seemed to comply with the demand as she closed her eyes and tossed her head back with an "M'kay".

 _BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT_

The damn thing kept going.

Jasper wanted to continue – Peridot looked so incredibly sexy right now with her kiss-swollen lips and the look of hazy adoration in her eyes – but the fucking cell would not stop ringing. She bit down lightly on a collarbone and sucked another bruise onto it while the smaller woman sunk angry little crescent welts into her back with her nails.

 _BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT_

Jasper was going to throw the piece of shit at the wall.

 _BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT_

Peridot sighed and pulled away from Jasper, whose jaw was now clenched into an angry sneer. The scientist muttered an apology before sliding off the counter and walking to find her phone.

Jasper watched her go and rummage through her bag, gingerly picking out the infernal buzzing device. _Who could be calling her this many times?_ Jasper had to wonder.

Peridot checked the screen and immediately her face twisted into a mix of shock and anger. "Why does she have to call me _now_?" she spat angrily.

Jasper wandered over to where she was squatting by the couch. "What's wrong? Who is it?" It was a stupid question, really. Judging by the panic and sudden attitude change, she could only imagine it being one person.

Peridot scrolled down the screen and her expression quickly changed from anger to panic. " _How many times did she call me?_ " she hissed, ignoring Jasper's questions. She stood up quickly, thrusting her shoes on to her feet and grabbing her purse. "I have to go. Now."

Jasper was disappointed by the abrupt change in Peridot's demeanor; weren't they happily getting handsy in the kitchen just a few moments ago? "Wait! Where are you going?"

She looked tense and panicked as she gripped her phone and her belongings for dear life, walking swiftly towards the front door. The knob was just in arm's reach now and she stood there, facing away from Jasper, head down, the sound of a few faint sniffles catching in her throat.

"'M sorry, Jasper. I already know I'm about to get into a screaming match with her. Probably over something stupid. I don't want you to have to see that." Her voice faded and sullen and not at all like the sexy, little mewls she had just uttered in the kitchen. "So, I'm just going to leave now."

Jasper resisted the urge to roll her eyes, but nodded anyway, walking forward and unlocking the door for Peridot. She was more than a little frustrated with the sudden turn of events. A part of her wanted to stop her from leaving and remind her that she was a 26-year-old woman who shouldn't let her mom run her life like this. But that wasn't really any of her business. Well, it might be, depending on how tomorrow went. For the first time since she had made the deal with Peridot, Jasper was really starting to wonder what the fuck had she agreed to.

She didn't bother turning around before she sniffled out a quick, "Bye, Jasper." Probably didn't want to be seen crying again. Peridot had just tugged on the knob when Jasper's hand caught on the sleeve of her jacket to twist her around. The pitiful look on her face was heartbreaking: brows furrowed together and red, puffy eyes glistening with wetness. Clearly trying not to start bawling.

Jasper just let out a "tsk" and pulled her into a hug, hoping to give the small woman some comfort, but inadvertently ended up smushing her face between her bra-clad boobs. This height difference thing was tricky.

Still, Peridot reached her arms around and hugged her back, face buried into her chest in a poor attempt to hide how upset she was. Jasper wouldn't stop her from leaving, so instead she brushed back the messy bangs from her forehead and planted a soft kiss there. She murmured into Peridot's ear, "Please drive below the speed limit this time."

Jasper felt a little relieved when she heard Peridot chuckle lightly against her chest. After a few moments longer, Peridot pulled away, still teary-eyed but with a small smile. She popped up on her tip-toes and planted a soft kiss on Jasper's lips.

"Thanks, Jasp, I needed that. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah. And good luck."

Peridot nodded and then quickly ran out the door, leaving a wistful and somewhat frustrated Jasper in her wake.

Jasper was left standing alone in the doorway, watching Peridot's retreating figure disappear down the hallway.

Peridot could feel her blood boiling by the time she made it out to her parked car. She decided to make the drive home first before dealing with the onslaught of calls and text messages, worried she might incur another road rage incident. Things like that were best avoided when possible.

All the way home her phone buzzed and buzzed and buzzed. 15 text messages and 12 missed calls over the past 40 minutes. Well, one message from Lapis too, but it literally said, "Your mom is looking for you. She sounds pissed". Guess she'd been calling the apartment as well. She hoped Lapis had been smart enough to keep her mouth shut about where she had been last night, but at least assured Yellow that her daughter was fine.

 _Oh God, did someone die?_ Peridot thought rather glumly. Sure, it was possible, but Peridot knew from experience that it could very well just be her mother being, well, _herself_. Yellow always got what she wanted, and if she wanted to get a hold of Peridot, she was damn well going to get her daughter on the phone. She was relentless, sadistic even, at times.

Even once she pulled into her parking space, she remained inside, cell phone in hand. She didn't want to drag what was probably about a screaming match into the building. No one needed to hear this.

Before she made the call, she thought back to her night and morning with Jasper and how much she genuinely enjoyed spending time with the gorgeous woman. Not to mention how amazing the sex had been. She still couldn't believe she managed to confess her feelings for her, and even better, that Jasper liked her back as well! Peridot thought she could honestly die happy right then and there. But then, because the universe hated her, her mother had called and was pissed at her about _something,_ so she'd had to leave before she could get pleasantly fucked by Jasper right there on the kitchen counter. She knocked her head a few times against the grip of the steering wheel muttering about how much of a lumpy clod she was. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Head still resting against the wheel, she steeled her resolve and decided enough was enough….or at the very least, to get it over with. She pressed the call button and counted the rings, hoping it would go to voice mail and she could be done with it for now.

"Hello? Dottie, where have you been? Why haven't you answered my calls? Your lack of communication is getting on my last nerve."

 _No such luck._

Peridot did her best to hold in an aggravated groan. Here we go. "I was out."

"And you couldn't be bothered to answer the phone?" Peridot could hear her tongue click in aggravation on the other end of the line. "Just what exactly were you doing that you couldn't bring yourself to answer the phone?"

 _Jasper,_ she thought with a lewd smirk _._ "I went out to run some errands and my phone fell out of my bag. I just found it now." It was a bald-faced lie, sure, but her mother didn't need to know what she had _really_ been up to. God, she felt like a teenager sneaking out behind her parents' back. She was a grown woman; wasn't this sort of thing supposed to stop? "Is something wrong, Mom? You called _quite a few times_ ," she added through gritted teeth.

"Well, of course! I haven't heard from you in nearly a week! You could have been dead in a ditch somewhere for all I knew."

Peridot pressed her lips together. "I'm sorry I haven't called. I've had a busy week, Mom. I'm alive; there is no need to worry. And I'll be more careful about where I leave my phone."

"Hmm. Yes, be sure to do that." Her mother paused on the other end. "Dottie, are you not at work right now? You better not be using a vacation day to shirk your responsibilities. You're an adult now, and you need to be making a good example of yourself to impress the higher-ups, and –"

"Mom! The office is closed today, okay?" She didn't need another lecture about her career from her mother. She had been getting them since she announced she wanted to go into biochemical sciences at the tender age of eleven. As a scientist herself, Yellow had drilled into her head how tough it was to be a woman in the field of science and how she needed to be smart and cunning in order to get ahead. Peridot didn't care about any of that and honestly just wanted to build robots.

"And you're just using this time to goof off? Honestly, Peridot, I thought I raised you to be better than that. You should be studying or at least finding some extra work to do," Yellow reminded her flatly.

Peridot was just plain frustrated at this point, running a hand through her messy hair. She just wanted to get inside and shower and veg out on the couch, or maybe relive some of last nights/this morning's steamy moments with Jasper with some help from the Hitachi Magic Wand she kept under her bed. But no, she had to get through this bullshit with her mother first.

She let out a deep breath to calm down and reminded herself that this was how her mother was – nothing she did was ever enough. "I plan to catch up on some new journals tonight. There was a study on building and creating nanomachines for biochemical dissection…" She rattled off a few titles, hoping they would satisfy her.

"Good to see you're at least paying attention to what's going on in your field, Dottie," she added coldly. She paused. "However, I have a better idea. Why don't you come to the house today and I'll invite my boss and his son over for dinner and you two can get reacquainted. Dr. Freedman is a very important man in your field, Dottie, and it would do you well to schmooze with him and his son."

 _Jesus fucking Christ. Is she still going on about this?_ Peridot had to hold herself back from her incredible urge to punch the steering wheel. Instead she settled for childishly giving her phone the middle finger while an ugly sneer stretched across her face. She had enough of this. It was time to stand her ground against her mother's meddling.

"No, Mom! I'm not coming over and I am NOT meeting with your boss' son. Not for dinner or a date or anything. That's final. I told you I'm already seeing someone. You will meet Jasper tomorrow. And I don't want you saying anything rude or making any snide comments, okay?" Well, she knew that wasn't going to stop her from being an asshole to her and Jasper tomorrow, but at least she wasn't lying about the whole "in a relationship" thing now, right? Okay, so Jasper and she had never actually discussed that before she left – if they were together, _together_ \- so maybe she ought to not jump the gun so soon.

Peridot was thankful, since her mom didn't know she was gay, that Jasper had what was usually considered a man's name. She was actually curious about why that was and made a mental note to ask Jasper about it later. As long as she kept her statements gender neutral, her mom wouldn't find out until they showed up tomorrow.

"Jasper," Yellow repeated flatly. Not a question – a statement. "Oh, so you weren't lying about that. Huh."

"You thought I made that up?" Peridot would have felt crushed had anyone else said this to her, but it was all but typical for her mother to say. The worst part was that, yes, she had originally made it up.

"You've never mentioned them before, but then I try and get you to meet people and all of a sudden you're with someone! Seemed pretty convenient to me." Yellow gave an amused snort from the other end of her line.

"Well, thanks for the vote of confidence, Mom," Peridot added dryly.

"Alright. I look forward to meeting this _Jasper_ of yours, then."

 _That sounds ominous,_ Peridot thought with a scowl. She quietly cleared her throat. "Okay, great. I got to go, Mom. Love you. Bye!" The aggravated woman didn't even wait to hear her mother's response. She swiped the 'end call' button so fast she almost accidentally flung the phone across the car.

Still, Peridot considered just flinging the phone out the window in her fury, but knew that getting a replacement before her contract was up would be a bitch to deal with. So she smartly decided just to put it in her purse and be done with it. And to think she could have just ignored the stupid buzzing and let Jasper have her way with her on the counter. Peridot sorely wanted a do-over.

Well, she would see Jasper tomorrow and they could sort out whatever _they_ were, provided she wasn't scared off by the family feud she was getting sucked into.

She caught a quick glimpse of herself in the rearview mirror before she left the car, and _holy shit_ , she needed to get inside before the general public saw her. Her normally pseudo-messy blond hair was sticking up at all angles, looking like the bedhead from hell with her long bangs falling limply over her forehead. Her brown eyes were red and puffy, a clear sign she had been crying. Peridot's lips were still somewhat swollen from the kisses Jasper had lavished her with. That she didn't mind, though.

The worst part was by far the dozen or so dark purple markings littering both sides of her neck and the edges of her collar bones. She looked like she had gotten into a fight. With a vacuum cleaner hose. Peridot touched one dark bruise gingerly – it didn't hurt, but anyone with half a brain could tell she'd had a hell of a good night. She had figured out pretty quickly that Jasper was a biter, but she didn't anticipate the after effects being this, well, _obvious_.

But she'd be lying if she said she hadn't enjoyed how those hickeys got there in the first place.

Peridot jumped out of her car, still messy, still wearing last night's outfit, doing a proper walk of shame with her head down, praying she wouldn't run into anyone she knew between her car and the 20 yards to her apartment.

Fortunately, no such incident occurred, and she made it up the stairs to her door, turning the key and hoping Lapis wasn't home to see her in her current state of disaster.

And that was where what was left of her luck ran out.

A voice came from the kitchen. "Peridot, is that you? Your mom called looking for you. Where have you been?" Lapis popped her head out of the doorway. "How was your date wit- holy crap, Peri, you…you…" She looked absolutely stunned by the sight of Peridot in front of her.

Peridot groaned. _Here we go._

 _"…you_ ** _SLUT!_** " she cackled with glee. Lapis crossed the room to get a better look at her, smiling like a madman at Peridot.

"Oh my god, Lapis, not _now._ "

Lapis circled around her, taking in last night's wrinkled outfit, the messed up hair, the numerous love bites. Everything. Not to mention a couple of very questionable stains on the skirt she had been lent.

"Well, well, well, _somebody_ had a good night! I take it your date went well?" Lapis teased with a smile.

Peridot flopped down onto the couch, though she really needed a shower. She would get there eventually. "Yeah, it was pretty great."

"Um, details? Please?" So nosy.

Peridot rolled her eyes and huffed, but relented anyway. "We went out for dinner and it was really nice. Jasper looked amazing. She's so hot, it just isn't fair," Peridot lamented. "And I gave her a ride home and she asked me upstairs for coffee-"

"Coffee, or _**coffee**_?"

Peridot let out a breath of laughter and shook her head. "Both."

Lapis let out a gleeful shriek and scrambled to sit down next to her best friend. "And…?"

Peridot's faced burned bright red. "And…I stayed over?" She was hoping to keep it vague.

Lapis knew was she was implying and was clearly ecstatic for her. She brought her high squeals of joy to a lower decibel. "It was good, right?"

She could barely stand to look her friend in the eye as she admitted all of this, instead burying her face in her hands. "It was amazing," she admitted.

"Haha! Good for you, Peri. I'm proud of you." And she slapped Peridot on the back a few times. Peridot was so flustered about it that she was ready to curl up and die.

Lapis quickly added, "It's a shame about the skirt, though." She pointed down at Peridot's legs.

Peridot looked down at the wrinkled, stained skirt Lapis had let her borrow for the evening. "Oh, sorry about that. I'll wash it and give it back to you."

"Oh, honey, don't bother. It will never be clean after what you did in it. Just burn it."


	7. Chapter 7: Emergency Vodka

*kicks open door* I'M FUCKING BACK. Sorry this took forever. As I mentioned before, this is no longer the final chapter due to the real final chapter coming to 16k+. So I opted to release the first part early, for a few reasons, including to ease up on my poor editor, jasminejaspers, who is wonderful and lovely and patient with me.

Chapter 7: Emergency Vodka

After the phone call with her mother, Peridot spent the rest of her day off with her stomach twisting itself into a tight knot. The shower she took helped to some degree; steaming out her building frustration and washing away her night with Jasper. Still, Peridot could feel the dread slowly eating away at her. She hadn't felt this stressed out since she had submitted her final dissertation after not sleeping for 48 hours during her final year of grad school. It felt like she was about to drop dead of a heart attack.

Jasper - her crush? Girlfriend? Again, nothing had been finalized. Maybe it was best they hold off on official "girlfriend" titles until everything was settled. Their "thing" together had literally started just hours ago, and now she was going to meet and sit down to a family dinner with her mother, who was notoriously terrible and ornery. Most people in relationships didn't meet their partner's parents until some level of comfort had been established, but Jasper was meeting her just one measly day later. Peridot was pretty sure that most big budget horror movies had less scary premises than this shitstorm that was brewing.

Sure, she had been prepping Jasper for this for the better part of the week, but now this was real. She wasn't just her escort for hire: she was going to experience the full tenacity of Yellow Diamond with the knowledge that this might not be the last time they would meet.

Just when Peridot thought she'd hit rock bottom in this whole disaster, she kept managing to dig herself _just_ a little deeper.

She grabbed a Cookie Cat out of the freezer for her "lunch". A part of her told her not to stress eat, but fuck it, she deserved it.

Peridot plopped herself down at the kitchen table and let out a long groan, knocking her forehead against the wood. She needed a drink. Or a Xanax. Maybe both. She'd had a hell of a week, after all.

Lapis peeked in on her after a while, but after finding her best friend half-lying across the table, crying, with an ice cream sandwich wedged into her mouth, she decided she wasn't emotionally invested in the situation enough to tend to her friend and left quietly.

She distantly heard her phone buzz and her heart dropped, thinking it was her mother calling to deliver another verbal crackdown. She'd barely gotten through the first one with her sanity intact; another one so soon would just absolutely destroy her. Peridot heaved a sigh and dragged herself to retrieve her phone from the bag she'd abandoned on the couch.

She pulled her phone out, and instead of a finding a condescending message from her mother, she found a message from Jasper. Instantly her mood went from everything-is-terrible-and-I-want-to-die to dumb-girl-got-a-text-from-her-crush. She smiled around her ice cream, pushing the last bite into her mouth.

"How did it go? Are you alright?" asked Jasper's message.

She debated texting her back, but decided calling would yield some clearer, more concise answers. She tapped the call button, still trying to get over the butterflies that fluttered in her stomach every time she talked to the other woman.

"Hey, Peridot, is that you? Are you alright?"

"H-hey, Jasper. Yeah, I'm fine. Just drained physically and emotionally. No big deal."

"Well, I guess it could be worse? What was she so mad about?"

"Oh, the usual: why haven't I called? Why was I not at work? Why was I not using my feminine wiles to seduce a socially inept geek to further advance my career? That, or she has some sort of sixth sense ability for when I'm getting myself into compromising situations. I honestly wouldn't put it past her," Peridot mused with a snort as she took the call to her room.

Jasper gave a light snicker from her end. "Oh? What feminine wiles are we talking about here?" she teased. "I hope you're not referring to when you wanted to 'practice kiss' last night?"

"Sh-Shut up!" she spluttered out. "I was nervous, okay? Besides, you're no good at it either! You just grabbed at me, you brute!" Peridot was glad no one was around to see how flustered she was. Jasper certainly knew how to push her buttons.

"Yeah," she relented, "When I saw they way you looked at me, I couldn't help it. You're just that cute." Fuck. Peridot was ten seconds away from jumping into her car and driving back to finish what they had started. Why, oh why, did she leave just as it was getting good again?

Peridot scoffed indignantly. "I am so not cute! I'm 26. I can't be 'cute' anymore." God, she might as well have been twirling her hair and giggling like a dumb schoolgirl for as giddy as she was feeling.

"Hardly, Peri."

At this point, Peridot could barely remember why she bothered calling in the first place; she was just stuck on the happy feeling of being able to talk to Jasper. But, even so, she still wanted to be clear on one thing.

"So, um, I'm sorry for running out of your apartment earlier. I really did want to stay, and uh, finish…what we started…"

"Yeah, me too," came a husky murmur from the other end, and Peridot had to wonder just where did she leave her car keys, again?

She swallowed thickly, feeling her whole body heat up as her brain flashed her images of the previous night. "I was serious about what I said. About…li-liking you." She stammered over the last part. _Deep breath_. "Would it, um, be okay if I called you my girlfriend?"

A long pause came from Jasper's end before she answered. "I-I would like that. A lot, actually."

Peridot let out a long, silent breath she hadn't known she was holding as her stomach flip-flopped in the most pleasant way. "Oh, okay."

"Anyway, I'm glad to hear you're doing better, Peri. I got to go now because they just called me into work. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay, Jasper. Um, can I call you before I go to bed?"

"Yeah. I'd like that. Bye, Peri."

"Bye." Peridot ended the call, her heart still beating excitedly in her chest. For just a few, short moments, her life felt flawless. Sure, Jasper was brought into her life under the weirdest circumstances, but, oh god, was she happy that it had happened.

She tossed the phone onto her bed and booted up her computer. With 12 hours before she could even entertain the idea of getting some sleep, Peridot was going to numb the stressed part of her brain with a marathon of Fallout 4.

Peridot woke up with an immense feeling of anxiety in her chest and the foreboding notion that she shouldn't even bother getting out of bed today. Like, maybe if she tried hard enough, she could sleep through Thursday and just skip straight to Friday. Problem solved! No scary family dinner with her nightmare of a mother.

There was no chance of that happening and Peridot knew it. She'd made a commitment, and now she had to follow through with it. At least she would get to see Jasper. That alone was enough to get her to put on a brave face and push forward.

She rolled out of bed and stripped off her pajamas, shivering against the chill of the late November air seeping in through her leaky windows. Peridot rustled through her tiny closet and eventually settled on an outfit she felt was somewhat decent enough to present to her mother. She dug out a light sweater, a tunic length top, and the one pair of black leggings whose inseam hadn't been ripped open by her thigh-chub. Peridot figured it was better than showing up in an unwashed hoodie and jeans.

As she left her room, she could hear the loud clangs of Lapis struggling in the kitchen with something. Made sense. Today _was_ Thanksgiving. She was probably making something to take with her to the Universe (was that even their real last name?) family dinner she was attending. Whatever she was doing, it smelled heavenly.

Peridot dragged herself into the kitchen to use the coffee machine, because in all of her 26 years on this miserable rock, all she really had to show for it was her crippling addiction to caffeine. Lapis was humming to herself as she stirred at a pot on the stove.

"Mornin', Sunshine!" Fuck, she was in a cheery mood this morning.

"Morning, Lapis," she slurred sleepily, fixing herself her first cup of coffee for the day.

Lapis looked over at her friend. "How are you holding up?" The concern was laden in her voice. Sure, she was a filter-less party girl at times, but she and Peridot genuinely cared and looked out for each other.

Peridot gave an unenthusiastic grunt in Lapis's general direction while she sipped at her hot brew. "Is it too late to stage a kidnapping?" she inquired.

Lapis shut off the stove and drained the water from the pot. Looks like she was making some mashed potatoes to take with her. "If you wanted to get kidnapped, we should have used the original Craigslist plan I came up with last week. Remember? Besides, what's wrong with bringing Jasper?"

"Oh. Yeah, about that….I didn't tell you yesterday because it wasn't set in stone, but we're not fake dating anymore…We're real dating now?" Peridot looked away as her voice waivered.

Lapis's jaw went slack. "What? When did-? How? Peri, that's not how you have a one-night stand! It's like the complete opposite, actually!"

"I know!" she groaned desperately. "I couldn't help it, Lapis! I like her so much and after we had sex she was so sweet to me and, god, the next morning I couldn't help it, I just confessed to her like a big rambling mess. But she likes me back! So, yeah, it's shit timing, but I'm really _happy_. Jasper likes me back." She felt herself give a small smile when she admitted that out loud. It was the one good thing that had come out of this mess.

"Well, shit, that's amazing, Peri! I'm so happy for you, really! But you do realize that now you're dragging your _real_ girlfriend straight to your mother who is going to verbally rip her to shreds just because she can. I mean, she still tells you not to be my friend, and I've known you for how many years?"

"I know! I fucked up. I couldn't help it." Peridot visibly deflated and rummaged through the fridge to figure out a quick breakfast for herself before she got ready to go to Jasper's. She secretly wanted to show up earlier in hopes maybe they could just spend some alone time together – before it all went to shit.

Peridot moped her way around the small kitchen with her meal, slouched over with her heart pounding heavily in her chest. Lapis was right: What if her mother tried to break them up? What if things got so bad that Jasper and she didn't even make it past the 24-hour mark in their relationship?

Peridot choked down her breakfast and cleaned her dishes before jumping into the bathroom to fix herself up. All she needed was one good look in the mirror to realize she had a huge problem on her hands.

"Lapis! I need help! Please!"

Her roommate came running in a panic, fearing her mess of a roommate had done something stupid. "Peri! What's wrong? Are you alright?" she barely stammered out.

Peridot pointed at the mess of dark spots. "What do I do about my neck?" She whined pathetically at Lapis. "Look at it! I've got to hide it somehow. Lapis, what do I do? Can you cover it up with some make up?"

Lapis looked bewildered at the sheer number of dark circle marks peppered up and down Peridot's neck and shoulders. "Peri, there isn't enough concealer in all of Delmarva to cover that up. You need a turtleneck, or at least a scarf you won't take off. I'm sorry girl, I'm not a miracle worker."

"Fuck. Oh god, I didn't think this through at all. Okay, okay, fine." She anxiously scrubbed her fingers through her hair, "I still have that scarf I borrowed from you-"

"Yeah, I'm not so sure how I feel about you borrowing my clothes now that I know the shenanigans you get into while wearing them…" Lapis taunted with a shake of her head.

"Ugh! I'm sorry about the skirt, okay? I'll get you a new one, I promise. Please let me borrow the scarf. Nothing is going to happen to it. Believe me."

The blue-haired woman rolled her eyes and relented with a knowing smirk. "Alright, fine. But I better not find any mystery stains on it when I get it back, okay?"

Peridot nodded frantically and finished washing her face, brushing her teeth, and pinning her bangs up. She even attempted to cover up what she could of the love bites, dabbing at them with some concealer, which was like slapping a bandage on a gaping wound: it really didn't do much of anything to help. Fortunately, when she carefully arranged the scarf around her neck, she managed to fluff it up enough to hide the worst of the damage.

The last thing she did before leaving was throw any supplies she might need into her bag. Despite the shit show that was about to go down, Peridot felt better off being prepared for the best and worst case scenarios. She threw in a change of clothes and a toothbrush just in case she and Jasper got through this long enough to blow off a little steam together. And then, finally, she added the emergency fifth of vodka she kept stashed away in the freezer for when this inevitably all went to hell. Despite being the rational, scientific person that she was, Peridot was deeply worried that she was going to be ending this night alone, crying, with her vodka. Just like grad school!

Lapis was in the kitchen, wrapping up a pumpkin pie to take with her when Peridot came to say her goodbyes. "God, watching you get ready is like watching a prisoner prep for his last meal before his execution," Lapis teased.

"You really know how to hit the nail on the head, don't you, Lapis?" She fired back with a deadpan expression.

Lapis gave a small laugh as she tucked all of the food she made into a box to take with her before turning to Peridot. "I made some extra and left it in the fridge for you in case you want it later. You got everything you need?"

"Pretty much," answered Peridot as she stuffed a few last-minute provisions in her bag.

"So you're going to show up at your mother's house with just your new girlfriend and a bottle of vodka?"

"I mean, that's more than I brought last year."

Lapis chuckled at that before scooping her friend up into a tight embrace. "You'll be fine, Peri. Trust me. Just stick to your guns and don't let what she says get to you. Honestly, I have no idea why you've let her boss you around for this long, but she _is_ pretty terrifying, so what do I know?"

"It's like, it's just—never mind, it's complicated." Peridot creased her brow and sighed. "I'm gonna head out now. Have fun with Steven and his family, okay? I'll be back...eventually..."

"Want me to get you another bottle of vodka?"

"You're the best." Peridot grabbed her coat and swiped her keys off the table before she headed out the door.

Once she was in her car, Peridot texted Jasper letting her know she was on her way. Maybe she was just as excited to see her, because the text she got back was almost immediate.

For the whole 25-minute drive, Peridot managed to forget how terrified she was of tonight's dinner and instead thought of nothing but seeing Jasper again. Granted, she was still a nervous wreck around her so far, but still, it was an easier feeling to deal with than the anxiety of seeing her mother.

She parked her car in the lot and texted Jasper once more to let her know she was there. Peridot didn't get a response, but a few minutes later, Jasper walked out of her apartment complex, her platinum hair pulled up into a sloppy wet bun. Peridot climbed out of her car and rushed over to meet her, stopping just short of crashing into the taller woman.

"Hey, Peri. Come inside; it's cold and I'm still getting ready. I didn't expect you to get here so quick." She grabbed the tiny woman by the wrist and pulled her back inside the warmth of the building. Once they were behind the closed door of her apartment, Jasper drew Peridot to her tiptoes and leaned in for a kiss.

Now this alone made getting out bed this morning worth it. Jasper's lips were warm and soft against her own and she smelled fresh from the shower. Peridot wrapped her arms around the larger woman's neck and kissed her back, only pulling away once she felt she'd had her fill.

"Just hang out here for a few minutes while I get changed, okay? I'll be done in a few." Jasper ushered Peridot over to the couch while she tried to finagle the elastic hair tie out of her massively tangled bun.

"Take your time, Jasper. Besides, I got here really early, anyway. I'm not in a rush. I'm not exactly thrilled to go, in case you forgot." Peridot pouted from her spot on the couch and pulled out her phone to catch up on some robotics study she had wanted to read into the other day, her foot bouncing anxiously all the while. The other woman disappeared into the bathroom, and by the loud whirring noise, sounded like she was drying her massive mane of hair.

The nice thing about reading was it did a great job of suppressing Peridot's growing dread for tonight's dinner. Finding escape in reading or even video games was something she had grown accustomed to over the years, especially when it came to tuning out the stress her family matters seemed to bring. Suffice it to say, Peridot was so absorbed in her research that she didn't even notice Jasper has stepped out of the bathroom in nothing but her bra and underwear and was now standing right in front of her.

" _Peri."_ she cooed, flashing her teeth in a grin, "Earth to Peridot."

Peridot jerked up from the screen with a jolt and looked up at the half naked woman – toned, dark skin, ample breasts, legs for _days_ – now standing in front of her, warm flush spreading across her face. Sure, she had seen her in less, but _damn_ , Jasper looked good.

" _Jasper_ ," she hissed, looking away, trying to hide her flustered visage. Failing miserably. "Where are your clothes?" Gesturing to her barely-clothed figure.

Jasper chuckled, clearly satisfied with the reaction she got out of Peridot. She offered her hand to pull the dazed woman off the couch. "C'mon, help me pick something out. I should look good to meet my girlfriend's family, right?"

She allowed herself to be led back to Jasper's room and sat on the edge of her bed while the other woman rummaged through some drawers. Peridot could hear the younger woman muttering angrily about not being able to find something, but she had stopped paying attention, opting to lay back onto Jasper's bed, limbs akimbo, reveling in how soft the blankets were and how everything smelled like spice and Jasper. She was all but ready to curl up and go back to sleep.

"Hey! What do you think of these?" Peridot's eyes popped open as the larger woman was looming over her holding up her choices – dark wash jeans, a plain tee, and a burgundy leather jacket.

"Looks good to me." She shrugged. She probably wasn't the best judge for this sort of thing – she didn't have much taste for fashion and tended to think Jasper looked good no matter what she wore. But then again, she was also under the distinct impression Jasper looked even better _without_ clothes. So she might have been biased to begin with.

Jasper eyed up Peridot sprawled out across her sheets. "So how it is that a girl your height manages to take up an entire queen sized bed by herself?" She towered over her prone figure, hand on her hip and a toothy grin spread across her face.

Peridot laughed and lazily swung her arms and legs like she was trying to embed a snow angel in Jasper's fluffy comforter. "It's a talent."

"You're such a brat," she teased. The other woman tossed her outfit on top of a dresser and settled for finding her own spot on the bed, climbing on and positioning herself over the smaller woman. Peridot sighed when Jasper leaned in to kiss her, lowering herself on top of the tiny scientist, but carefully enough to not crush her under her full weight. They pecked at each other's lips softly, taking a slow, private moment just for the two of them. Peridot decided, between kisses, that she did rather like Jasper being on top. She didn't even mind the feeling of being held down, trapped beneath the warm weight of the other woman. It was strangely calming – safe, even.

A few more smooches and Jasper rolled off of Peridot, onto her side with the smaller woman shifting to face her. The two lay looking at one another, so close that Peridot could feel the warm tickle of the younger woman's breath against her skin. A comfortable silence fell between the two of them as they lay there on the bed together.

"Cou-could you just hold me for a little bit before we have to leave?" Peridot questioned meekly. "My anxiety has my stomach twisted in knots…"

Jasper just gave an understanding nod and reached over to slide Peridot the rest of the way towards her, tucking the smaller woman under her chin. "It's alright, Per," she muttered, closing her eyes for a moment. "What's the worst that could happen, really?"

Peridot stopped and considered that for a moment. What _was_ she so scared of, anyway? It wasn't like her mother had control of her financially – she didn't rely on her for much of anything, really. Since she had taken this job, she had been pretty self-sufficient. Did she think her mother was never going to speak to her again? Write her out of the will? Even so, what did she care?

"I just…I just don't know, Jasper," she admitted. "I just want her to be proud of me, I guess? Accept me for who I am? Isn't that what children want from their parents? I get that I'm an adult and my mother is a particularly difficult woman, but I guess I just don't want to disappoint her."

 _Fuck,_ she thought. _I must sound like such a whiny little shit right now – crying that my mom doesn't love me. I feel so pathetic._

But instead, Jasper just gave a little nod and settled for running the flat of her large hands up and down Peridot's clothed back in a soothing motion. Her thumbs pressed into the curve of her spine, kneading away at the tension. Peridot closed her eyes and a small sigh slipped passed her lips as the fingers continued their ministrations. She felt warm and weightless, like she could just slip right out of her body.

Jasper's hands moved lower until they found the hem of her sweater, dipping underneath and tracing circles along the plump curve of her ass.

 _"_ Hmmm _…Jasper…"_ They really didn't have time for this, but the only thing better than a distraction was a _sexy_ distraction.

Her hands left their position on Peridot's legging covered rear and travelled up her back, moving against her bare skin when –

"AHH! Jesus-fucking-Christ, Jasper, your hands are _freezing_!" Peridot squealed and tried desperately to wiggle out of Jasper's tight grasp.

Jasper gave an evil laugh and held her closer, pressing her ice-cold palms against Peridot's flesh while she squirmed. "Yeah, I know. But you're so warm, Peri, I just wanted to heat my hands up a bit. And I can't help but want to touch you."

She shivered at the frigid sensation, but gave up on trying to wriggle away and looked up at Jasper with a pout. "I hate you."

"No, you don't."

"Fine. You're the worst."

"Eh, that's true." Jasper leaned in and planted a big, wet kiss on her forehead. Peridot cringed with disgust and immediately wiped it off.

Jasper kissed her cheek, nicely this time, which the smaller woman seemed to accept. She mumbled into her ear, "We should get going."

Peridot, with her head tossed back, let out an overly dramatic whine. "But you're not even dressed yet. You can't show up looking like that." She playfully twirled a finger in Jasper's long, wild hair. "Oh, no. I guess we're just gonna have to stay here instead."

"Nice try, nerd." Jasper poked at her playfully, subtly trying to push her to the edge of the mattress. "You made a commitment. And I'm your escort. We're going. Move your ass."

Peridot fought back by clinging tighter to the larger woman, hooking a leg over her waist as Jasper tried to pry her off. "Noo!" she whined. "I changed my mind. I wanna do underwear Thanksgiving on the couch. It's not too late, Jasp."

"Maybe next time. Now let go of me or I'm going to push you off the bed." She unstuck Peridot from her waist and slid her over the side of the mattress, laughing at Peridot's scrambling attempt to land on her feet. It wasn't a graceful landing by any stretch of the imagination.

"You clod!" She stuck out her tongue and stood up, straightening out her rumpled clothes and scarf. Jasper reached for her clothing and tossed her jacket on Peridot's head, laughing at her murderous expression while she pulled on her pants.

"You seem awfully eager to do this, Jasper," she muttered as she slid the leather jacket off of her head, glaring at her girlfriend.

The taller woman grinned, then shrugged. "You've spent the past week telling me what a holy terror your mother is. Now I want to see it for myself. And besides," she tweaked Peridot's nose before she could slap her hand away. "I love a good challenge."

Peridot could feel the panic set in deep within her belly. "Oh my god, Jasper, I don't know what you're thinking, but whatever it is, stop it."

Jasper eyed Peridot still clutching her motorcycle jacket and a sinister grin spread across her face. "Hey, Peri?"

"Um, what?" Peridot asked cautiously. She did not like the look on Jasper's face right now.

"On a scale of one to ten, how badly would your mom flip the fuck out if you showed up on a motorcycle?"

Peridot blinked slowly, trying to process the question in her panic-addled brain. "Ummm...like a solid fourteen? I'm pretty sure she would actually just drop dead on the spot."

"Oh, good. Grab your stuff. Change of plan."

The end is in sight! The finale chapter is 90% done and will hopefully be up by some point soonish. Again, thank you to everyone who has left me kind words or reached out and for being patient with my lazy ass.

Follow me on tumblr at succubitchxoxo for updates!


	8. Chapter 8: Just One More Bad Decision

Chapter 8: Just One More Bad Decision

"Wait a minute, Jasper! I never agreed to this."

Peridot struggled to keep up with the taller woman's lengthy strides as they exited the apartment complex, hand in hand. Jasper led Peridot to a garage located around the side of the building, and slid open the metal door. Parked inside, in all of its shiny red glory, was Jasper's motorcycle.

"This," she declared, "is my baby."

Peridot had to admit, the bike was really cool, and the sex appeal Jasper radiated when she rode it was intense enough to make Peridot's brain do a hard reboot. Her fingers reached out and slid along the smooth chrome finish. "What kind of bike is this?"

"She's a 2004 Big Dog Mastiff Cruiser. VTwin engine, six-speed transmission, can easily get up to 120 miles per hour. Purrs like a kitten, too. I bought her a few years back, practically new from a seller through the internet. We've been inseparable ever since."

"So I'll have to compete for your affections with a motorcycle? Great. I have to admit though…it's a really nice-looking bike."

From a technical standpoint, Peridot was absolutely fascinated with Jasper's Mastiff. It was a union of sleek chrome, modern design, and raw horsepower. However, faced with the reality of actually riding, it was fucking terrifying. Just because she'd had sexual fantasies involving Jasper and the motorcycle, that didn't mean she actually wanted to get on the back of it.

"Um, you know, I have a car with, like, seatbelts."

"Yeah, and?"

"I have a car with seatbelts," she repeated sternly.

"And I've seen the way you drive," Jasper fired back. "Wait. Have you never been on a chopper before? I thought you said you liked bikes."

"No! I was talking about a regular bike, to ride to the library or the park. You know – leg-powered! I do go outside once in a while."

Jasper threw her arm around Peridot's shoulders, jostling her a bit.

"Well, it looks like I get to have your first time, then."

"Haha, nope. No way," Peridot laughed dully, "No, thank you. I'm okay with being a motorcycle virgin. My mother raised me to believe that these are screaming, metal death traps and, for once, I'm inclined to agree with her." She started instinctively backing out of Jasper's hold.

"Aw, c'mon Peri, you might like it. And besides, it's not like you'd be driving."

"I'm not sure why you feel the need to show up at my mother's house on your motorcycle when I brought my car exactly for that purpose."

"Easy. When you first told me about this 'plan' of yours, you explicitly told me you wanted to piss off your mother – you know, rebel a little. You're already showing up with my gorgeous ass, so why not really hit back hard and act out more? She's been causing you panic attacks for what- this entire week? Your whole life? It's time to do something crazy. Show her that what she wants for you isn't what you want for you."

Peridot hesitated as she mulled this over. She could stand to rebel a little more. It didn't make her any less nervous about getting on the damn thing, though.

"…You promise it will be safe?" Her fingers tightly clenched around the thick nylon strap of her messenger bag.

"Yep. I've been riding for five years now. I know what I'm doing. You'll sit on the back seat – I installed it myself a few months ago so Amethyst and I could take day trips or whatever. It comes in handy. Here-," She reached into a lock box and pulled out an extra helmet for Peridot, "You can borrow her helmet for now, too."

Peridot slid it over her head, silently lamenting how bad her already messy hair was going to look afterwards. It seemed to fit pretty well, so Peridot just nodded and hoped she could handle this.

"Don't worry, Peri," Jasper bent down and gave Peridot a reassuring peck on the lips, "Just tell me where we need to go and I'll get us there in one piece. I promise."

She helped Peridot to situate herself on the back of the bike, while the older woman did her best to give accurate directions to their destination.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?"

"No. But I doubt I'll ever be. So let's get this over with."

"That's the spirit," Jasper tied back her wild mane of hair and slipped her own helmet over her head, "Now put your feet here and hang on tight to me, okay?"

She threw a leg over the side of the bike and carefully slid into place in front of Peridot. The smaller woman immediately wrapped her arms around Jasper's torso in a death grip.

"Jeez, Peri, easy on the ribs. I got bruises from my last match. And I haven't even turned it on yet," Peridot just let out a nervous whine and dug her face further into Jasper's back, scared shitless that she might fly off the bike to moment it roared to life. In front of her, Jasper slid her keys into the ignition and started the engine, revving the motor until it purred. Peridot prayed to a god she wasn't even sure she believed in, hoping she would live through today so she could spend the rest of her life regretting every decision that led up her being on the back of a motorcycle, with a woman she practically just met, on her way to spend Thanksgiving with her batshit crazy mother. Things were looking pretty grim for her right now.

"You'll be fine. I'll go slow. I promise," Jasper called over the loud rumble of the engine; and then she jerked up the kickstand with the heel of her boot and pulled out of the garage.

Now, Jasper did not go slow- or at least, not by Peridot's standards. The woman clearly owned the bike for the sole purpose of looking cool and going fast – both of which she pulled off spectacularly. Peridot, on the other hand, clung pathetically to her like a barnacle, hanging on for what she felt was dear life.

Fortunately, after the first fifteen minutes or so, she started to ease up, letting her grip relax as she enjoyed the ride. Jasper still tore through back roads and the short stretch of highway, but Peridot just had to trust the younger woman's promise that they would arrive in one piece.

To Jasper's credit, they did. Forty minutes later, the bike passed through the scenic community Peridot had grown up in, and pulled up just outside the house. Once they had parked safely on the winding driveway, Jasper helped her off of the bike, making sure she didn't fall face first onto the concrete.

"Wow! Jeez, Peri, your house is really nice," Jasper said. She popped the helmet off of her head and shook out the matted mane of hair.

"Yeah, I guess? Mom's got a really good position at that company," Peridot shrugged nonchalantly. She didn't really have the fondest memories of this house.

She pulled the cold vodka bottle from her bag, uncapped it, and took a harsh swig before passing it to Jasper.

"Here. Have some. You're gonna need it. I don't recommend being sober in my house longer than necessary,"

The larger woman stared at the bottle incredulously, before looking back at Peridot. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"No. But neither is being completely sober at a Diamond family dinner."

"Alright. Hand it over."

After Peridot had slipped the bottle back into her bag, she looked back up at Jasper, who held out her hand and nodded her head towards the front door. As much as Peridot appreciated the gesture and support, she still couldn't shake off the horrible fear of what was to come.

"Are you ready?" Jasper asked, finger just inches away from the doorbell.

"As I'll ever be," Peridot groaned back, "Let's just get this over with."

The chime of the bell was followed by the heavy thud of footsteps. When the front door swung open, they found themselves face to face, not with Peridot's mother, but with Peedee, who was actually glad to see that they'd arrived.

Her younger brother was easily six inches taller than her now, having sprouted even more since she'd last seen him; but he still had that shaggy mop of unruly blonde hair. Peedee grabbed Peridot and pulled her into a tight hug.

"Dot! You're actually here…and you brought…," He pulled away and looked over to where Jasper stood next to her. "Oh, wow. You are…definitely not Lapis."

"Nope. I'm Jasper." She offered out her hand to Peedee.

"Nice to meet you." He turned back to his sister and lowered his voice. "Look, Dot, there's something I need to tell you before-"

He was cut off by the sound of heels clacking against the tile floor, which could only mean one thing. Yellow Diamond rounded the corner, wearing a sleek black pencil dress in lieu of her usual business suit. A strand of Mikimoto pearls gleamed at her throat, and her bright blond hair was done up in a perfectly coiled coif on the top of her head. Judging by the sharp look in her eyes and the sneer stretched across her lips, she was not to be trifled with right now.

Peridot braced herself as her mother came to a dead halt in front of her and pulled her into a stiff hug, giving her a huge whiff of her mother's signature scent: Chanel no. 5, coffee, and cigarettes. It was evident Peridot had received the short end of the stick when it came to genetics, as her mother was easily around 6 feet tall, compared to Peridot's meagre 5'2". She did her best to hug her back, trying to pretend they hadn't spent the last week - or more accurately, her entire life - fighting. Some things just never changed.

Here we go.

Yellow pulled away abruptly. "Dottie. You were almost late! So where is this Jasper of yours…" She looked over and caught sight of Jasper staring right at her and cocked an eyebrow. "Oh. Hm. I thought you'd be a man."

Peridot blinked in surprise at the statement. Oh no, don't do it.

Jasper extended her hand, which Yellow hesitantly shook. "No, I'm definitely a woman. It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Jasper, Peridot's girlfriend."

"Oh? Could have fooled me…Anyway, why don't you and, your, um…," she paused and gave Jasper another once-over, eyebrow arched high, "…girlfriend go put your coats away. Dinner's almost ready."

Yellow gave them another icy, fake smile before turning on her heels and disappearing back down the hallway towards the kitchen to tend to the food. When she was out of earshot, Peridot let out a breath she wasn't aware she had been holding and scrubbed her fingers through her hair. This was already not going well.

"Did…Did your mom just say I look like a man?"

Peridot could practically hear Jasper's teeth grinding together.

"Wow. That was bitchy – even by Mom's low standards." Peedee shook his head in disbelief.

Peridot grabbed Jasper's arm and tried with all of her strength to drag her back out the door. "Okay Peedee, it was great seeing you. This was a terrible idea. Time to go now. Bye."

"Oh no. Get back inside." Jasper single-handedly dragged the struggling woman back into the house. "Now it's personal."

"Goddammit Jasper, I warned you about this," she hissed, "If this is all that it takes to set you off, well, then you're in for a rude awakening."

Her girlfriend huffed dramatically and held up her arms in defeat. "Okay, okay." She pinched the bridge of her nose and took a few deep breaths to calm herself over the biting insult. After a few moments and another loud exhale, she turned to Peridot. "Alright. The 'murder-your-mother' feeling has passed. I'm fine, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

Jasper nodded silently, but it was easy to tell she wasn't quite over it. After taking a little more time to collect herself, Jasper suddenly looked down at Peridot and let out a deep chuckle, "So, uh, Peri, how is it that your mom is almost my height? What the fuck happened to you, shorty?"

Peridot rolled her eyes and groaned, definitely not in the mood to put up with Jasper's shit. "I'm pretty sure she smoked with me in utero. That, or I'm probably adopted. Genetically, I'm pretty sure the only traits I got from her were the blond hair, the caffeine addiction, and the impeccable resting bitch-face. Mom wasn't nice enough to give me the 'I-can-reach-the-top-shelf' genes."

While they spoke, Peedee lingered behind them, still a bit shell-shocked by the sight of Jasper looming next to him. He was clearly caught between wondering why she was so tall and how his nerdy sister had managed to land such a babe.

"So uh, what's the deal with girlfriend over here?" He gestured nervously at the Jasper, who cocked an eyebrow and pursed her lips at him.

Peridot looked between the two of them, trying to figure out the best way to explain this to her brother. "Okay, so this is Jasper. Last week, I almost ran her over in a blind rage in a parking lot. This week, she's my girlfriend. But I need you to pretend that we've been going out for a while and I didn't just meet her a few days ago or anything like that, alright?"

Peedee paused, the cogs in his head spinning as he attempted to comprehend his sister's nonsense. "You're….This is a joke, right?"

"I couldn't make this up if I tried. Well, I mean there's more to it than that, but that's really the basic gist of it." She gave a nonchalant shrug, as if to say yes, this sort of thing just happens all the time. She pulled her brother into a hug, happy to see him, but still pretty pissed puberty had blessed him with a growth spurt.

Despite their age difference, Peridot and Peedee got along relatively well. They had figured out at a fairly young age that their mother wasn't quite the nicest lady – even to her own children – so they made a point of looking out for each other where they could. As they got older, Peedee figured out that, the less he visibly cared, the easier it was to avoid his mother's wrath. He was also the second child, and by default, he had an easier time growing up because his older sister had been the guinea pig for their mother's parenting skills (or in this case, the lack thereof). Peridot, on the other hand, still hadn't quite freed herself from her mother's controlling and manipulative behavior, even at 26.

"So, uh, big surprise, Dot, but mom is pretty pissed off right now. She's definitely in one of her moods."

"Oh no, which mood are we talking about?"

"The one where she's incredibly passive aggressive and then chain smokes a pack of menthols in the kitchen while cooking dinner."

"Is that what that smell is?" Jasper sneered, lip curling up in disgust.

Peridot smacked her hand against her forehead and groaned. "Fan-fucking-tastic. C'mon Jasper, follow me, we'll go put our stuff in my old room."

She grabbed Jasper's hand and led her to the staircase, dragging her down the second floor hallway until they reached her door. Before she opened it, she turned to her new girlfriend, realizing she was going to be treated to a deep, intimate look into her awkward, growing years. "Just...don't laugh too hard, okay?"

Her room was largely untouched, to her surprise. To be honest, she was shocked her mom hadn't thrown everything out and repurposed the room to use as her fourth office space. The motif was largely green – Peridot's favorite color – mixed with posters of space, mechanical models, shelves full of books, and, of course, her old collection of comic books, anime, and plastic figurines of busty video game heroines.

"Well, Peridot, I thought you were just a nerd before. But, wow, you're actually a _huge, fucking nerd_ _._ Like, I definitely would have beaten you up for your lunch money." Jasper kept laughing as Peridot groaned and shielded her face, trying to hide how red her cheeks were.

Ignoring her laughing girlfriend, she threw her bag down next to her old desk and shucked off her coat. Her frazzled nerves kept her on her toes, rather than allowing her a moment to sit and gather her thoughts. Even though she didn't say anything about it, her mother clearly must have seen the two of them pull up into the driveway on the bike - probably from her vantage point in the kitchen. Peridot was sure she would get an earful about that later. Considering how irate and tightly wound up her mother was, maybe it was time to come up with a better battle plan with Jasper.

The old twin-sized bed creaked under the weight of Jasper's body as she sat on the edge of it, regarding Peridot's frantic pacing around the room with a certain level of amusement. Either she was good at staying calm under pressure, or she just didn't care that Yellow already didn't have a great first impression of her. It was probably a little of both.

By now, Peridot was muttering under her breath with the sense of panic and urgency she usually reserved for losing her wallet, or that one time she had found Lapis, drunk and bleeding all over the bathroom, after she had attempted to pierce her own nipples. She still had nightmares about the latter. Yet, somehow, she still prefered both of these scenarios to having to go back downstairs to face her mother again.

She stopped pacing around and came to a dead halt in front of Jasper. Peridot suddenly realized she was at an impasse in her original plan: Did she still want to follow through with her first idea and make Jasper seem like a terrible girlfriend? Or should she save the situation by trying to appease her mother?

This dilemma only existed because Peridot, for the first time in her life, had decided to be reckless and commit the cardinal sin of mixing business with pleasure. And how could she resist? Jasper and pleasure just mixed together so well.

"Look, Jasper," she said as she kicked her toes nervously into the carpet, "I-I don't know if I can go through with this."

"What are you talking about? We're here, aren't we? All we need to do is just go tell your mom off during dinner. It will be easy. Then we can leave and go have some _real fun_." The smirk Jasper wore was audible in her voice. Peridot felt a shiver creep up her spine at the suggestion.

"I...It's just...if we…" Peridot stammered with no direction. She had no idea how to voice her concerns without being honest about it, but that felt scary to her too because it meant laying bare her feelings. That was something she seemed to have been doing a lot of lately.

In front of her, Jasper dropped the smirk and motioned her to come closer, until Peridot could feel warm breath on her neck, as broad arms wrapped around her shoulders. "What's wrong, Peri? C'mon, spit it out."

She instinctively turned away, feeling her cheeks heat up once again. "It's just...I fucked everything up. We can't go and intentionally piss her off any more than she already is."

"Uhhhh...maybe you missed the part where she called me a man? She isn't playing nice and neither will I. What's the big deal? This is why you brought me here to begin with."

"I know! I know. But that was before I fucked everything up." She nervously chewed on her bottom lip and tried to avoid looking Jasper in the eye. "This would have worked if I'd just kept my mouth shut and stuck to the original plan, but I didn't because I'm a big, stupid clod."

"Peri, you're not making any sense."

"Ugh! It's just…" She scrubbed a hand roughly over her face, trying to hide her frustration. "Look, after today, had we stuck with the first deal, we probably would have gone our separate ways and I would have never seen you again, which I guess would have been fine, but I ended up liking you. A lot. Even though I've only known you a week. That sounds crazy, doesn't it? Maybe I am crazy. Th-that's why I ended up confessing that I liked you after our night together. I just didn't want you to think I was using you for my own convenience. And then you said you like me back and, god, I hope that's still true after whatever happens today. But the point is, I like you, and I want to go on a bunch of silly dates with you, and see where all of whatever _'this'_ is goes. And I'm not trying to prophesize that far into the future, but what if this isn't the only family dinner I end up having to drag you to? I can't have you antagonizing my mother if that's the case. I just wanted to get her off of my back, but seeing her will be a whole new level of hell if you start shit with her. So, please, please, _please_ , if she tries to start something, don't antagonize her. I want her to like you." Peridot sucked in a huge breath after realizing she had rambled out that whole confession. She was so light-headed she thought she might faint had she not been clutching at the front of Jasper's jacket as tightly as she was.

"You get that all out now? You're being kind of a hot mess right now, Peri." Jasper cocked an eyebrow and snorted a laugh before she crooked a finger under the smaller woman's chin and tilted her head back up. "Alright, I won't try and piss her off on purpose. If you want me to be nice, I'll be nice, but she doesn't seem to like me already though, and I swear if she calls me a man again…"

"Jasper! You're fucking gorgeous. Don't listen to her or anything rude she might say to you. She just wants to get a rise out of you, okay? Please let it go."

The taller woman's lips tightened into a scowl before she relented. "Fine."

Peridot breathed out a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Jasper."

"So, you really like me that much?" Jasper purred as she pulled Peridot even closer and dipped her head down for a kiss.

Wide-eyed, Peridot nodded, closing the distance between their lips. Maybe everything might be okay after all.

There was a sudden knock on the door and both women jerked their heads in that direction.

"Hey, Dot?" Her brother's voice called from the other side. "Mom wants to talk to you down in the kitchen."

 _Or maybe not_ _._

"I'll be right there," she shouted back. "Oh God, it's happening. Let's bring the booze." She went to reach for the bottle she had left on her desk.

"Nope." Jasper snatched it away before she could grab it. "If I have to be nice to your awful mother, then you can't be smashed before dinner."

Peridot glowered at the taller woman, knowing there was no good way to steal back her liquid crutch. "Fine. C'mon, let's go."

The two trekked back down the stairs and Peridot guided Jasper towards the living room down the hall.

"Uh, don't you want me to go in with you?" Jasper gestured towards the kitchen.

"Not now. Just hang back here. I guess if you hear shouting, maybe. Maybe go sit in the living room with my brother for now?"

Peridot swallowed and took a deep breath, trying to force her pounding heart to settle down. As she approached the entrance to the kitchen, the smell of roasted turkey and her mother's menthol cigarettes swarmed her senses.

Yellow was standing by the stove, angrily mashing a spoon into the contents of a pot, while precariously dangling a cigarette between her fingers. The ashes were dangerously close to falling in the food. The careless racket she was making with the pots and the pans was a pretty clear sign that she was annoyed. Sharp eyes met Peridot's before she could even announce her presence.

"Glad you made it in one piece, Dottie," Yellow said, her voice void of emotion as she smiled, "How was the ride here? That bike your girlfriend has is certainly _something_."

"Yeah," Peridot answered calmly, like it hadn't been less than an hour ago that she had been terrified to get on the back of the damn thing, "Jasper has a really nice motorcycle."

"I'm surprised you actually got on, considering how dangerous those things are."

 _Yeah, you and me both._ "Oh, it's not so bad. She's a very cautious driver," Peridot lied.

Her mother didn't answer; just stubbed out her smoke and yanked open the oven door, allowing a surprisingly delicious aroma to waft out into the kitchen. Yellow muttered under her breath, grabbing the oven mitts and hoisting the bird out, before haphazardly tossing it onto the counter. Oh yeah, this wasn't good.

"So…who is she?" Yellow turned around with a sneer plastered across her face. Peridot's heart jumped. Had her mother figured her out already?

"Jasper? She's my girlfriend."

"Oh? So how did you meet her? You've never mentioned her before and she doesn't seem like one of your regular friends."

Ah, fuck. Did she figure it out? Damn it, just stick to the story. "I met her a few months ago at the gym. I took, uh, a class that she teaches….and I kind of punched her in the face? And then I took her to dinner to apologize and decided to start dating sometime after that."

Uhh…yeah, this story isn't even in the realm of believable.

"…You went to a gym?" Yellow looked up from lighting another cigarette.

That's the part of my story you find unbelievable?!

"Um, yeah. They were having a special on classes and I wanted to learn some self defense." A part of her wondered if Yellow was going to interrogate Jasper later, to see if their stories matched up.

"Do you need any help, Mom?" she asked, desperate to change the subject or at least escape the confines of the kitchen.

"You and your brother can set the table."

Peridot nodded and started gathering the utensils while her mother plated the food for dinner. She picked up the plates and turned to leave, trying to make a hasty getaway.

"Dottie?" _Shit._

"Yes, Mom?" She turned around just as her mother brandished the serrated knife from the butcher block, a serene smile stretched awkwardly over her features.

"I know when you're lying to me."

Peridot gulped audibly. She didn't mean to- but well…there it was. Her mother didn't elaborate, but instead started aggressively carving into the turkey breast with her knife.

Back in the dining room, Jasper and Peedee were talking in hushed voices.

"-just take my sister and get out of here."

Peridot shifted her eyes between the two of them as she set the dishes on the table. "What are you two talking about?"

"Your brother's filling me in on what's going on."

"Well, would you mind filling me in?" Peridot asked dryly, "Mom's about to murder someone. Probably me. Although she doesn't seem to care that I showed up with a woman, so that's kind of good."

Peedee scrubbed a hand through his thick blond hair and shrugged. "I don't know the details or know why mom wants you to go on a date with Ronaldo. Something is going on at her work and it's making her more crazy than usual. And for some reason she's trying to drag you into it. Honestly, I think you and your girlfriend should just hop back on the motorcycle and ride off into the sunset, or whatever the hell it is you two do. I don't know."

So Peedee didn't know what was going on, either. This didn't bode well for Peridot. She couldn't imagine what her mom's job had to do with her, though. Yellow was the COO at Gem Tech Enterprises; so there wasn't really anyone who could put pressure on her, apart from the owner, Mr Freedman. And from what Peridot understood, Yellow was pretty much running the show, anyway. To call her 'power hungry' was the understatement of the year.

Jasper didn't say much on the situation; she was really there just to support Peridot during her ordeal. "Look, Peri, if you want to go, I'll take you- but I think you should really put your foot down and tell her to back off."

"If only it were so easy. This has been eating me from the inside all week and I've made it this far. I might as well face her head on," she gritted out through her teeth. The dishes clattered loudly as she spread them around the table rather carelessly, torn between being incredibly angry and understandably upset.

As Peedee slipped back into the kitchen, Jasper pulled Peridot into a hug and pressed her lips against the top of her head. It made her feel a little better, and the two of them finished setting the table together.

The heavy clap of heels against the tile floor was a pretty clear sign that her mother was coming to the dining room, with dinner and Peedee in tow. She still wore the composed expression from earlier, only now the cigarette was gone.

"Thank you for setting the table, Dottie and…Jasper, was it?" She laid the food down onto the table. Looks like she was going for 'sweet and polite' mom-mode. She didn't break that one out often. Never lasted long either. "Sit down, let's eat."

The four of them sat around the table in near silence, each pair of eyes darting back and forth between the other occupants of the table, save for Yellow, whose unwavering gaze was fixed on Peridot. The tension in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife. Still, at least the food looked good; ever the perfectionist, her mother at least knew how to cook a nice meal.

Peridot swallowed thickly and hoped she wouldn't have to be the first person to say something or make the first move. She eyed her brother and tried to telepathically beg him to say something please, but judging by the blank look in his eyes, he had already gone into emotional shutdown mode.

 _Great. No help there. Think, Peridot! You're smart! You can figure this out. Just gently ease into a conversation and try to avoid saying anything to set her off or cause this whole thing to blow up._ Was she trying to talk to her mother or defuse a bomb? Given the choice, Peridot would have chosen to dismantle the bomb rather than go through with this dinner.

 _Alright. Let's just start out with something easy. Ask if she's done something new to her hair? Or maybe if she got Botox? She's certainly got her frozen, angry stare down to a science. No, no, that's a terrible idea. Quick, just say thank you for making dinner and for inviting us over. And hopefully Jasper isn't looking to start shit to get back at her for that awful comment. It's probably best if I handle the situation from_ -

"Thank you for having us over for dinner, Ms. Diamond," Jasper started, pulling Peridot out of her thoughts and beating her to the punch. She was clearly straining to muster her kindest smile despite the palpable tension and everything that had happened so far. "You have a lovely home."

Finally, Yellow tore her eyes away from her daughter and directed her ire towards the other woman. "Well, it's my pleasure to have you." Her tone clearly stated otherwise. "I'm impressed my daughter actually brought someone. When she first mentioned you, I assumed she had made you up to get out of that date I had set her up on- but here you are. You're a lot...bigger than what I was expecting, but please, help yourself to the food."

Jasper's expression faltered before glancing at Peridot, who looked equally as bewildered. "No, I'm really her girlfriend," she bit back sternly, and Peridot could tell she was already fed up with Yellow's behavior. Even with the promise to not fight back against Yellow, she had to wonder if Jasper had an incredibly short fuse. Not that she wanted her to have to sit there and take it, which is what Peridot was used to doing. But luckily, Jasper chose to stay quiet and spooned some potatoes out of a bowl before passing it to Peridot.

 _Great,_ Peridot thought glumly _,_ _doesn't matter what anyone says. She's looking to pick a fight._ Next to her, Peedee seemed to snap out of his fugue state long enough to pour his mother a glass of wine, hoping a little alcohol would help mellow her out. Peridot filled her own plate, deciding maybe it was best to keep her mouth shut for as long as possible. The last thing she wanted to do was actually take the bait; she wasn't sure if she could handle getting repeatedly insulted in front of Jasper. She took the wine bottle for herself and poured the deep burgundy liquid way past what was probably considered socially acceptable for a normal holiday dinner - but for a Diamond family dinner, it was probably the necessary minimum to make it through the first course.

As much as she wanted to, she couldn't remain silent the whole dinner. Maybe she should just stick to talking to her brother; he was annoying, sure, but at least he didn't judge her every decision. And it seemed like a safer option than trying to chitchat with Yellow. "So Peedee, how has school been? Do you still have that cloddy old Mr. Clarke teaching honors English?"

"Yeah, I have him. He's still alive and teaching somehow. I'm pretty sure he's losing his mind though. He called me 'Peridot' more than once. Like how? You were in his class almost 15 years ago and we're not even the same gender. It's so embarrassing!" She snickered at his misfortune. "But, school's still boring. Nothing new to report here."

"Nonsense, Peedee. You'll be taking 2 AP classes next year and joined the debate team. You should be proud of that. Take more pride in your accomplishments," their mother interjected, adding a rare smile at the end.

"Uh…sure Mom, will do." Peedee said. He really didn't seem to care.

Peridot kept her mouth shut, despite the fact that Yellow never seemed to be impressed with her- not even when she was taking 3 AP classes, heading up the robotic team, joined National Honor Society, and was top of her class. It wasn't like she was bitter about it or anything. Nope, not at all. She resolved to keep her mouth shut for the rest of dinner.

But it seemed Yellow wasn't ready to let the conversation die. She leaned back into her chair, ignoring the meal and casually swirling the liquid in her wine glass. "So, Dottie," she drawled as she sipped, "tell me. How are things going at your job? Are you lined up for a promotion yet?"

Peridot pushed her food around with the fork, feeling too jittery to actually put anything in her mouth. "Um. Things are going well?" Her voice wavered slightly. "I don't think I'm lined up for a promotion."

"That's such a shame. Your talents are being wasted there. After all of the money I sunk into getting you the best education, you should be exhibiting your gifts in a company that would truly let you shine. You are a _Diamond_ after all." She emphasised the name like it entitled her to rule entire empires. "You would do so much better for yourself if you came to work at Gem Tech."

 _Again with this?_ _Why is she so determined to get me to work there? I know she's up to something. Please just don't let her bring up this date with Ronaldo – not in front of Jasper._ Next to her, Jasper and Peedee ate quietly, probably trying to avoid instigating anything with her mother. Which was fine; Jasper wasn't here to fight her battles. Just being beside her provided Peridot with enough emotional support.

"I'm fine mom, really. I like where I'm at right now. I'm happy with what I'm doing."

"Really, Dottie?" Peridot could tell her mother was itching for another cigarette from the subtle clenching of her hand – they were her go-to coping mechanism when she was stressed out about something. "Are you really in any position to be turning down a higher title and larger salary?" She paused for a moment before her eyes narrowed in on Peridot's plate as she nervously pushed her food around. "And would you mind not playing with your food? You're old enough to know better."

Peridot shrunk back into her seat, cowed by her mother's sharp eye for manners. She saw Jasper glance over at her, checking to make sure everything was okay, and while she stayed quiet, she could tell the younger woman was itching to get herself involved. She was still rightfully bitter over her mother's little snipe at her when they had arrived.

She sat up straight again, holding her shoulders high, as if she could successfully pretend she held even a shred of confidence. "Really, mom. I'm fine with where I am. I'm doing well for myself and I like what I'm doing. That's all."

"Dottie, this is your future we are talking about, here. I hoped you wouldn't squander away your talents with these no-name companies." Her eyes flitted over towards Jasper for just a moment before looking back, a scowl pulling at the corners of her mouth. "You deserve only the best, dear. I just wish you would make better choices."

Next to her, Jasper suspiciously side-eyed Peridot, letting her know that _ye_ s, she caught that little quip and, _no_ , she was not happy about what Yellow was implying - although, mercifully, she remained quiet. It seemed that both women were catching on that maybe this wasn't just about Peridot's career choices.

 _So this why she's going through all of this? She doesn't think I'm meeting her standards? Or is she just trying to control me like she normally does?_ Peridot thought glumly, _And I wish she'd stop giving the evil eye to Jasper._

But it seemed Yellow had decided she'd had enough of rifling through Peridot's life, and it was time to start picking apart Jasper's.

"So Jasper, tell me about yourself. What is it exactly that you do again?"

Jasper paused in the middle of eating and looked up, knowing full well she was probably walking straight into a trap. If the academia-focused woman felt that her lab technican daughter wasn't doing well enough for herself, what was she going to say to Jasper, whose job title basically amounted to 'professional ass kicker'?

"I work as a personal trainer at the Beach City Gym," Jasper stated confidently, much to Peridot's relief, "and also I train in MMA fighting."

But unlike her daughter, Yellow was less than enthused by Jasper's physical prowess and humble day job. Intelligence and high aspirations were what she expected out of her children- and she expected no less out of their partners as well.

"So, that's it?" she asked flatly, and Peridot could tell she was not impressed.

"Yup," Jasper shrugged with an easy grin, "Just doing what makes me happy."

Even though Yellow was throwing shade at Jasper left and right, Peridot was thankful for how calmly her girlfriend managed to brush it off. Clearly, Yellow wasn't as smitten with Jasper as Peridot was. Maybe they could just grin and bear it until it was over. Even with the tense atmosphere and her mother's condescending nature, Jasper wasn't looking to pick a fight. Peridot breathed a sigh of relief, and felt bad that she had assumed that her girlfriend was just looking to start one.

"Wow! That's so cool! Do you fight other women? Have you won any tournaments? Dot, can you bring me with you to one? Also can you benchpress me?" Peedee exclaimed excitedly, and Peridot could practically see the stars in his eyes. Even if her mother was less than impressed, her brother seemed to be sold on the idea of Jasper and her being together. Or maybe he just wanted to watch two chicks beat the snot out of each other? It was hard to tell. He was a teenaged boy after all.

Jasper chuckled and turned away from Yellow to talk to Peedee, clearly happier to speak to her new #1 fanboy instead of enduring Yellow's scrutiny across the table. And Peedee was incredibly delighted to learn that yes, Jasper could probably benchpress him. Unfortunately, with Jasper distracted, Yellow's crosshairs were set squarely on Peridot again.

Now Yellow was filling her empty glass with a second helping of wine, with the same unimpressed expression she used to wear when Peridot used to bring home A's instead of A+s. Yellow did not tolerate Peridot falling short of her standards, no matter if it in her school work, job, or even her love life. There was no winning here for Peridot. That much was obvious.

"So Dottie, I'm having a hard time believing this was the best you could accomplish," Yellow stated brazenly. It seemed like the wine was loosening up her tongue. That, or she no longer cared to pretend to hide her feelings. And Peridot could tell she wasn't just referring to her job as a lab technician. Not anymore. She was lumping Jasper into that as well. "Don't you think you should be doing bigger and better things with your life?"

"W-wha? I'm doing fine. Mom, you don't mea-," Peridot insisted meekly while her face burned in humiliation. She brought her wine glass up to her lips and prayed that somehow, by the grace of God, she could make it through dinner without bursting into tears. As long as Jasper didn't instigate anything…

A dark chuckle next to her let Peridot know that Jasper clearly had other plans.

 _Oh no. Jasper, whatever you're thinking, don't do it-_

Peridot felt a strong arm wrap around her shoulders and roughly jostle her towards the larger woman. With a wicked grin stretched across her features, Jasper shot back: "Well, she's already doing bigger and better things." Her thumb jerked towards her face. " _Me_."

Beside her, Peridot turned an exaggerated shade of scarlet, almost spitting out her wine out of shock over her girlfriend's brazen taunt. " _J-Jasper_!" she hissed, "Was that really necessary?" She glared at the taller woman and lightly kicked her shin under the table.

For the first time, something other than the usual cold indifference, flashed across her mother's face; a hairline crack in her otherwise flawless façade. But the shock didn't last long before it was replaced with a bemused, almost cruel, smile. And Peridot knew, of all the things Jasper could have said, implying ' _oh, and I'm fucking your daughter'_ , might have been the worst.

"Well, I figured as much." Yellow recovered quickly, her lips drawing into a tight, angry line. "I was never under the impression that my daughter chose you for your intellectual prowess. And your crude language was clearly never a factor either."

Jasper didn't even flinch at Yellow's biting words. Instead she just rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, adopting a more relaxed stance as she leaned back into her chair. She knew she had pushed the right buttons and now she was in this fight for the long haul. Peridot's request be damned; Jasper had had enough of this woman's snarky attitude and now she was ready to knock her down a few pegs.

"Oh, so that's how it's going to be? Well, you clearly have no idea what Peridot wants anyway - because in case you haven't noticed, I'm sitting at the table and not your boss's son. Your daughter is gayer than a picnic basket full of glitter at a Pride parade. She's never going to go on a date with this guy, no matter what you say to her."

"You shouldn't be sticking your nose where it doesn't belong. I want what's best for my daughter, and that doesn't concern you." Yellow said, glaring daggers across the table.

"Um, excuse me? It does concern me because I'm her girlfriend. Peridot is gay. And nothing you say is going to change that. It doesn't matter why she chose me. If I'm what makes her happy, then you should respect that and quit picking on her." Jasper smiled before going in for the kill. "You'd know this if you actually cared about what she wants and pulled your head out of your ass for five seconds."

Now that was worthy of a mic drop, if the shocked expression on Yellow's face was anything to go by.

 _What is happening! Jasper, what are you doing?_ Peridot's brain was short circuiting as this played out in front of her. All she could do was watch it unfold in silent horror. _Holy shit. This is_ _so_ _bad. Granted, she's saying everything I've ever wanted to say to my mother. Too bad I think I'm about to faint. Holy shit, I need to stop this before Thanksgiving turns into an episode of Jerry Springer-_

"And what do you know? You fake-blonde harlot."

"Excuse me, the only thing faker than my hair is your tits, you old bat!"

 _Oh fuck, nevermind. It's too fucking late. What is even happening right now?_

Peridot tried to pick her jaw up off the floor and figure out how to get these two separated before things could somehow get uglier. The last thing she needed was one of them lunging at the other across the dining room table. If she had to guess, Peridot thought Jasper was more likely to try and jump the table; her mom was more of the 'smash the wine bottle on the end of the table and use it as a weapon'-type. Yellow was someone who was used to getting her way, so Peridot knew her mother wasn't above playing dirty. Either way, she needed to end this fight, because a Thanksgiving ER trip wasn't on her agenda for today.

She turned to her brother for help and quickly realized she was on her own. Peedee was starry-eyed and grinning like Christmas had come early this year, watching the feud between his mother and his sister's girlfriend get progressively crazier. This was possibly the best thing he had ever seen go down at the dinner table. And Peridot couldn't blame him; she had never seen her mom lose her cool like this before. So he was pretty much useless to her.

Peridot watched as the fight escalated into her mother calling Jasper "a daughter stealing whore" and Jasper calling Yellow "a pencil-necked harpy" over the table, like they were a pair of catty, middle school brats in the cafeteria. As much as Peridot wanted to sit back and watch this play out in abject horror, she decided to be the adult and put an end to the fight. After all, it was her hesitance to stand up for herself against Yellow which had gotten them into this mess in the first place. It was probably a good time to fix that. Between her mother's nit-picking commentary and Jasper's defensive outburst, she was upset and embarrassed as hell. She really had just hoped for a quick and quiet dinner, but clearly her mother and her girlfriend each had their own agendas. Peridot felt tears prick the corners of her eyes as her burning frustration boiled over.

She grabbed at Jasper's jacket and with all her strength, yanked the woman back into her chair. "Will you two stop it already! This is ridiculous and you're acting like children." She was shocked at the force of the words coming out of her mouth. "Mom, Jasper's right. You need to stay out of my job and personal life. I'm gay and you can't change that. And I'm done with living up to your standards, because I'm tired of my efforts never being enough for you. I just wanted you to be proud of me and I can't even seem to manage that. But you know what? I don't care anymore. I've got a good job where I'm doing the work that I love."

Peridot, seeing no point in subjecting Jasper and herself to any more of her mother's loathsome behavior, stood up swiftly and pulled at her girlfriend to follow. "C'mon Jasper. Let's get out of here."

Jasper looked more than content to continue her angry stare down with Yellow, but reluctantly got up to follow. She loosely wrapped an arm around Peridot's waist to comfort her when she noticed that her girlfriend looked completely miserable.

"Good bye Peedee, I'll see you later." She sighed and turned back towards her mother and curtly added, "Bye Mom."

Jasper waved goodbye to Peridot's brother (happy to know she had at least made a good impression on one person) before tugging Peridot towards the door. But before they made it out of the dining room, she came to a stop and turned to face Yellow again, "Look lady, I don't know what your problem is or why you have such a stick shoved up your ass, but you've got a great daughter who clearly loves you, even if you're too vain to see that." Jasper didn't await a retort, before pulling Peridot close and ushering her away.

Peridot was determined to make it out the front door, but before her fingers reached the knob, her conscience finally caught back up with her. If she left now, sure, she would have stood up to her mother…but was this really the outcome she wanted? She would just be creating a huge rift between them and running away from her problems. And honestly, that wasn't what she wanted.

"Wait, Jasper. I know that was a shitshow, but this isn't right." she winced out of disdain for the words about to leave her mouth, "I can't leave like this."

"Uh, I think we can, Peri," Jasper groaned, "In case you forgot, I called your mom 'an over Botox'd _Real Housewives_ reject'. I'm honestly surprised she didn't try to slit my throat with the butter knife."

"Oh stars, I know this is stupid move, but I've got to go sort this out and make it right." Peridot buried her face in her hands. "But that was a good one though," she added quietly.

"Yeah, I was proud of that one too. So, you really think you can get through to her?"

Peridot paused to consider this. Between her mother's stubbornness and her own already flaring temper, no, she didn't think she stood much of a chance. The more she thought about it, the more she felt that returning to the house now might actually make the situation worse than it currently was.

"Yeah, nevermind, I think you might be right. Let's just leave. I'm too upset and I might say something stupider than I already have. I think I'd rather sleep on it and try to fix this once we've all cooled down." She pinched the bridge of her nose, letting out a frustrated sigh. "It's probably the best plan for all of us right now."

Her girlfriend seemed to consider this and gave the smaller woman a reassuring pat on the back. "Beats me, Peri. It's whatever you want to do."

"Sorry I dragged you into this disaster. I guess you could just dump me back at my apartment now," Peridot said dejectedly.

Jasper shrugged. "Well, I mean I could, but wouldn't you rather come back to my place? We could watch some movies and share a pint of ice cream on my couch. I don't want you to mope around by yourself in your apartment."

 _How does she know just what to say?_

Peridot knew it was too soon for the idea of _'love'_ to be thrown around, but judging by this week alone, Jasper might have been the best thing to ever happen to her.

"I-I would like that a lot, actually." She brushed away some of the leftover wetness that had gathered around her eyes and managed a small smile. "But I think I'm going to need my own pint."

Jasper gave her a goofy grin and tousled her hair. "I'm sure that could be arranged. Now, c'mon, let's get out of here."

She nodded and went to reach for the door handle, but suddenly froze before she could finish turning it. "Hang on."

"Damnit. What now?"

"We should probably go get the stuff we left upstairs in my room. I kind of need my wallet. It's got my license and my cards in there."

"Ah, shit. You're right. I guess we weren't going to get very far without my keys either."

She was just making her way to the stairs when she heard the sound of a chair sliding against the floor, which was followed by the rhythmic clacking of her mother's heels. Yellow emerged from the dining room and quickly made a beeline for the two women standing at the foot of the stairs.

Peridot wasn't all that surprised that Yellow was probably trying to chase the couple out of her house. "Mom, we're just grabbing our stuff and then we're getting out." She was too nervous to look her mother directly in the eye, so she continued trudging up the stairs instead, hoping to make a quick getaway and avoid any further confrontation.

"Peridot, wait-"

 _Oh great, what now? We're leaving. What more can she want? Is she going to disown me? Write me out of the will? Tell me I'm a disgrace to the Diamond family name? Maybe 1000 years no TV?_ She could say anything at this point and Peridot doubted she'd be surprised by it-

"I'm sorry."

-Except for maybe that. Did she just hear that correctly? She didn't think she could ever remember a time when her mother had apologized to her about anything. Ever.

"Y-You're sorry?" Peridot almost tripped up the stairs in her disbelief.

"You heard me. Yes, I'm sorry." Her mother looked pained saying those words - probably because she didn't have to say them very often. "I just wanted what's best for you and got a little carried away in the process."

"You got more than 'a little carried away', Mom," Peridot said dully.

Yellow scowled, realizing her daughter wasn't going to make this apology easy for her. "Yes, Dottie, I know. My handling of your decisions was less than...exemplary. However, I believe a discussion beforehand about your sexuality would have been beneficial for both of us."

"Yeah, I guess that's fair, but, honestly I was scared to see your reaction if I told you. You're not mad that I'm gay?"

Her mother barked out a surprised laugh. "What? Why would I be angry that you're gay?"

 _Oh sure, bring home a B+ and it's the end of the fucking world, but she's A-OK with my flagrant homosexuality. Go figure._

Yellow then directed her attention to Jasper, who had remained mercifully quiet during the mother-daughter exchange. "And Jasper, you…" She was clearly trying to pick her words wisely. "...are certainly an _interesting_ choice for my daughter."

"Uh, thanks?" Jasper clearly wasn't quite buying it, but seemed to have a feeling that this was the closest thing to an apology that she was going to get.

"Now won't you please come sit down and finish dinner? I'd like to put this little fiasco behind us."

"Nope. Not yet. I'm not coming back until you promise not to meddle in my affairs and stop pressuring me to live up to your ideals. We don't want the same things, Mom."

"But Dottie-"

"Mom, I mean it. No more."

"Fine. Have it your way."

"That's all I ever wanted."

The three made it back to the table and surprisingly managed to finish their meal with awkward, but mostly harmless small talk. Peridot was glad that things had settled down for the moment; even if their relationship wasn't perfect and her mother wasn't really all that 'motherly', they seemed to be taking a step in the right direction at least.

When they had finished eating, Jasper, Peridot, and Peedee cleared the table, figuring it was the least they could do since Yellow had taken care of all the cooking. And as a show of good faith, Peridot even volunteered to wash the dishes- something she rarely ever offered to do.

She loaded the dishes into the dishwasher on her own (there was no way she was actually going to wash the dishes by hand) while her brother excitedly dragged Jasper off the moment everyone had finished eating. He said something about wanting to make a video of Jasper bench pressing him. Honestly, Peridot didn't mind; it was nice to have a quiet moment to herself.

When her mother stalked back into the kitchen, cigarettes and lighter in hand, Peridot knew her quiet time was over.

"It's okay Mom, I can handle the dishes by myself," she insisted.

"I know. I'm not here to help you. You're more than capable of handling it yourself," her mom smirked as she lit up one of her cigarettes.

"Do you really have to smoke in here?"

"Hey, I agreed not to tell you how to live your life, so don't tell me how to live mine." Yellow tossed her hand with a flippant wave before exhaling a cloud of smoke. Oh, she would never change.

The small woman wrinkled her nose and tried to hide her exasperation. She assured herself that she and Jasper would be leaving soon anyway. Maybe if she looked like she was focusing hard enough on the dishes, her mother wouldn't try to make small talk with her.

No such luck. "I've got to give you credit, Dottie, you sure know how to pick yourself a girlfriend. Although I didn't think you were into the 'jock'-type." Her mother leaned back against the counter. "I guess I figured you'd be showing up with that Lazuli girl. You two were always attached at the hip."

Peridot couldn't help the groan which escaped her. "Her name is Lapis. You know that. And no, I've never been interested in her."

"Well, I can see why you like Jasper, I guess. She certainly puts a lot of time and care into her physique." Yellow flicked a few stray ashes from the tip and quirked an eyebrow at her daughter. "She's got a hell of a mouth on her too."

"I know," Peridot said, and gave her mother a genuine smile, just to irritate her, "She's great."

"Yes, well, maybe we all got off on the wrong foot. Why don't you bring her back for Christmas dinner?" Peridot visibly blanched at the idea of bringing Jasper back here again so soon. "And how were those classes she teaches? I was thinking about joining a gym, but something like that might help with my stress and frustration. Things haven't been great at work lately…"

"...what classes are you talking about?" Peridot couldn't recall what her mom was referring to.

"You said Jasper teaches a class at the gym. That's how you two met, wasn't it?"

 _Oh shit, the story!_ "...Uhh...oh yeah! Yeah. I took a class she taught. It was...uhh...great," Peridot stammered, worried she had hesitated with her answer for too long.

Her mother's eyes zeroed in on her, clearly catching that something wasn't quite right. "Oh? Then just what exactly did you learn?"

Truth be told, Peridot knew next to nothing about about MMA-style fighting, except that Jasper probably looked fantastic getting all hot and sweaty and brawling with another equally hot and sweaty woman. Something she _definitely_ looked forward to seeing in the future, but right now…

"Uh, how to punch good?"

Yellow's lips creased into a tight scowl and Peridot knew that, _shit_ , she had fucked up. "Dottie, what is going on? I knew something wasn't right about all of this. Explain, and don't you dare lie to me. What is going on?"

Peridot knew lying about that was a terrible mistake. She wasn't all that good at maintaining lies, but more importantly, her mother wasn't an idiot. "Okay," she eventually conceded, "Jasper is my girlfriend, but we only just met last week."

"You only met her last week? What, did you hire her or something?"

"..."

" _Dottie_."

 _Ah crap._ So Peridot awkwardly tumbled her way through an account of the past week, telling her mom that, no, she did not actually have a girlfriend when she originally said she did. Then she told her about the fated near hit-and-run, the deal they made, the coffee and dinner date, and eventually she had to quietly end her story with how they spontaneously decided to date, because, terrible lies aside, there was no way in hell she could tell her mother about their little after dinner _sexcapades_.

Yellow just rolled her eyes when Peridot had finished giving her explanation. "Dottie, that's even stupider than the first story you made up. I can't believe you offered to pay this woman to come to dinner with you. And then you suddenly both just suddenly decided to start dating? Just like that? Or, let me guess, does that tacky scarf have something to do with that?" Her mother smirked knowingly and gestured with the end of her cigarette.

"The scarf?" Peridot reached up to her neck to touch the fabric, before her mother's implications became clear to her. She could feel red-hot embarrassment creeping onto her cheeks. _Oh stars above, she_ _ **knows**_ _._

"Ah yes, that makes more sense," Yellow noted smugly, amusement stealing across her face.

"Okay, you caught me." Peridot could feel her ears burning red. "I just wanted to get you off my back, but it turns out I like her. I really don't want to talk about this anymore."

"You don't need to. I already have the gist of what's going on. It's pretty obvious you didn't get your lying abilities from me though." Yellow mercifully stopped digging any further and instead pulled a pumpkin pie out of the refrigerator. "Finish what you're doing, Dottie. Come have coffee and dessert and then you and Jasper can go on your merry way."

Peridot didn't want to stay, but at least it sounded like they'd be released from this dinner disaster soon. And besides, there was always room for dessert.

Her mother didn't even make it back into the dining room before her cellphone went off with a shrill beep. She arched an eyebrow and a smile curled on her lips as she checked who the call was from. "Hang on, I've got to take this," she insisted, before thrusting the pie into Peridot's unsuspecting hands and hastily disappearing to take the call.

 _Well that was weird_ _._ Peridot took the pie and some utensils out to the dining room and called for her brother and Jasper to come and have some dessert.

"Dot, you missed it! Jasper is amazing and she can totally bench press me. You gotta see the video." Her brother was absolutely gushing about how cool his big sister's girlfriend was. "What happened to mom?"

"She had to take a call or something and ran off. I don't know who it's from or what it's about though." Peridot shoved a plate of pie at her brother. "Now eat this quickly so Jasper and I can leave. I'm way past my tolerance point of Mom's bullshit today."

"Alright! I love pumpkin pie," Jasper said as she grabbed a plate for herself and settled down at the table with them.

Only a few minutes had passed before Yellow re-emerged into dining room, looking rather harried. "Sorry kids, an emergency at the office came up and I have to go settle some things with my secretary. I can't put it off either. I don't mean to run out on you like this, but that's how it is."

"Mom, it's a holiday. Don't you have the day off? Why would anyone need you at the office?"

Yellow scowled at her daughter. "I can't discuss the matter with you, Dottie. Thank you for coming and I'm sure I'll see you both again for Christmas-"

"Wait, I never agreed to-"

"-And make sure you clean up before you leave." She walked over extended her hand to Jasper who did her best to accept it without appearing shock by what was happening. "Jasper, it was certainly... _fascinating_ to meet you."

"Yeah, you too, Mrs. Diamond."

"Don't wait around for me because I might not make it back tonight. And Peedee," she warned sternly, "Do not stay up all night playing video games again. I don't want you indulging in such unhealthy behavior and I don't care that you have the day off tomorrow."

"Fine Mom," came his grumbled answer.

She seemed satisfied with that. "Alright, I'm going now." And she made a beeline for the front door without even waiting for so much as a good bye.

"What the hell was that about? Does your mom just normally run away from her own holiday dinners?"

Peridot shrugged. "I don't know. I don't consider anything she does to be 'normal'. And today was just a weird day."

"Something is going on at her job and it's making her crazier than normal. This isn't the first time she's left and not come back until the next day," Peedee added between bites of pie, "Doesn't matter to me though. I like having the house to myself."

Jasper turned to Peridot and glared. "Hold on. Did your mom just invite us for Christmas too? Peridot, I don't think I can go through another tense family dinner with her in less than a month."

"Oh don't worry, I think she likes you now."

"Seriously?"

"Oh yeah, she wanted me to bring you back _real soon_. Nyeh heh heh heh." Peridot let out what she thought was an evil laugh, but it sounded way too dorky to be even remotely threatening.

Jasper playfully clamped a hand over Peridot's mouth. "Absolutely not. I'm not stepping foot back into this house unless it is an absolute emergency or I'm heavily sedated. You weren't kidding about not being sober around your mother. There needs to be a four, no, five, drink minimum before I ever have to walk through this door again," she sternly told the smaller, giggling woman.

Peedee looked between his sister and her girlfriend before nodding his head. "I like her. She learns fast. Good job Dot, she's a keeper."

"Look at that, Peri, I'm a hit with your fam- _oh that's gross_!" She pulled her hand away from Peridot's mouth when she felt a warm, wet tongue slide across her palm. The smaller woman laughed and stuck out her tongue while Jasper wiped her slobbery hand on her pants.

"Yeah," Peridot sighed happily, "She's pretty great. Anyway, I can't believe Mom is finally going soft. Did you hear her actually apologize to me for once? I don't think that's happened. Ever. I didn't even think she knew the words 'I'm sorry'."

"Sorry to break it to you, Dot, but you can thank me for that."

"You're the one who got her to change her attitude? How?"

"Oh, I just told her that you two were planning to secretly elope to Vegas even if she didn't approve of your relationship."

"You did _what?_!" Peridot clutched at her chest like she was about to have a heart attack, and even Jasper looked mildly alarmed.

Her brother let out an obnoxious snort. "Jeez, I'm just kidding Dot. I told her that Jasper was right and she was acting like a sociopath, and if she didn't apologize to you I was going to drop all of my honors classes and get a part time job flipping burgers."

"You really said all that?"

"Eh, more or less."

"Wait, why didn't you do that days ago when this whole fiasco started?"

"I didn't think it would get that bad. Besides, did you see mom and Jasper go at it? That was _spectacular_. I'm going to be telling these stories to my theoretical grandkids. Jasper's going to be like a folk hero in our family, Dot. We'll sing songs of her greatness, about how she called Mom a bitch and lived to tell the tale."

"Peedee, _no_." But next to Peridot, Jasper let out a hearty laugh, apparently thrilled by the idea of becoming some mythical heroine of the Diamond family. "Don't encourage her."

Peedee finished with his plate and got up from the table. "So are you two gonna leave now? Because I plan on spending the next eight or so hours playing video games. No offense Dot, but you're not the only one who needs a break from dealing with Mom's crap."

"What?" Peridot gestured at him. "You don't want to spend quality bonding time with your big sister and her awesome girlfriend?"

"Hell no." And Peedee walked away, leaving them both alone in the dining room with his dirty dishes.

"What a brat! After I came all this way to see him. He was like the only reason I was even remotely willing to show up here in the first place."

Next to her, Jasper chucked and wrapped her arm around the smaller woman. "He's a teenage boy, Peri. Can you blame him? I'm surprised he stuck around this long, to be honest. Social skills don't seem to be this family's strong suit."

"Gee thanks." She rolled her eyes and let out a sigh, landing a light punch on Jasper's shoulder. Now that her mother had left, she felt a ton better. "Let's just clean this mess up and get out of here."

"Sure. Sounds like a plan," Jasper lowered her head and whispered huskily into Peridot's ear, "So, I'm taking you back to my place, right?"

Peridot's face heated up at the thought, feeling the pleasant warmth of Jasper's breath against her neck. She nodded her head vigorously. Any residual crappy feelings she had about today were shoved out of her brain in favor of a more _pressing_ matter.

Her girlfriend's sultry suggestion certainly lit a fire under her ass. She quickly snatched the dessert plates off of the table and rushed them into the kitchen, eager to get everything tidy so she and Jasper could get out of the house. Jasper couldn't help but snicker at Peridot's sudden burst of energy as she loped back into the kitchen with her.

The smaller woman practically threw the dishes into the sink, while Jasper stood next to her at the counter, watching her make a wet, soapy mess of everything. "Slow down Peri, there's no need to rush. I'm not going to leave without you. Are you feeling okay after all of this?"

"Huh? Well, yeah! Believe it or not, that went surprisingly not as bad as I thought it would be," Peridot admitted, "Although, I think we could have all done without the _'oh hey, I'm fucking your daughter'_ comment. I can already tell I will never be living _that_ particular moment down. I just can't believe you stood up to the terror that is my mother though. Yeah, it was kind of a disaster, sure, but it worked out in the end, I think? So, thanks for that. Are you doing okay?"

"Oh, I'm fine, but now that I've experienced your mother in person, I can see that you weren't exaggerating. She really is a holy terror." Jasper leaned back against the counter as she eyed Peridot working at the sink, "But I got to meet you, so I think it was worth it. Glad I could help."

Peridot couldn't help but shyly smile at her girlfriend. Sure, Jasper could be a little brash at times, but she really did seem to care.

"So, you almost done with those Per? Because I _really_ want to see what you picked out to wear for tonight's underwear party," Jasper said with a wink.

Now, Peridot knew Jasper was just fucking with her for fun, but it didn't stop her from getting flustered and accidentally dropping a plate into the water, earning her a splash of suds right in the face.

"Oh crap!" she muttered while Jasper laughed at her mishap.

"You're a such a klutz, babe." A pair of hands dragged Peridot away from the sink, before they cupped her chin and tenderly thumbed away the splatters of foam that dotted her face. Peridot found herself staring up into a pair of gorgeous amber eyes while Jasper's thumb dragged across her bottom lip. She couldn't help but part them slightly, pushing herself up onto her toes as Jasper leaned down to meet her halfway in a tender kiss.

A pair of strong hands threaded through her hair, preventing her from pulling away. Peridot could feel her own heart thudding wildly in her chest. It was amazing how a simple kiss could give her such a rush; she never wanted it to end. It wasn't ideal, but since her mom was gone and her brother was distracted in the other room, she didn't see why she couldn't spare a little extra time to have a private moment with Jasper. She deserved some fun, and doubted that her girlfriend would object to a little making-out as a 'thank you' for all of her hard work.

With a small 'pop', Peridot pulled away, a little flushed and breathy from her excitement.

"You're so cute, Peri." Jasper praised, pressing her forehead to Peridot's, as she held her flush against the counter. Peridot loved the feeling of her body melded against Jasper's; it felt so right, so perfect.

Still, Peridot couldn't stay up on her tiptoes forever; so she pulled away from Jasper for a brief moment. She grabbed a hand towel from besides her and quickly dried off her still soaked hands before leaning back and lifting herself up to sit on the counter top. Now that she was level with Jasper, there was nothing stopping her from pulling her girlfriend back in for another kiss.

The taller woman parted Peridot's knees so she could stand between them, as Peridot grabbed at the collar of her shirt and dragged her back in for more. Jasper held her close, lips pressed against her girlfriend's slender jaw line as she teasingly muttered: "So, are we just picking up from where we left off yesterday?"

Peridot giggled and rolled her eyes before guiding Jasper's mouth back to hers, slowly darting her tongue out to caress those lips. Her girlfriend happily indulged her, allowing Peridot to slip inside and tangle their tongues together. Jasper threaded her fingers into Peridot's hair, pulling her deeper into the kiss.

The two nipped and nibbled at each other, letting one take control of the kiss before swiftly stealing it back. Teeth clinked and tongues swirled together as they held each other close.

Jasper's other hand came to rest on her thigh, firmly squeezing at the thick of it, then slowly trailing upwards to roughly grab Peridot's hips. Peridot let out a soft cry around Jasper's bottom lip, allowing herself to be dragged to the edge of the counter until she was straddling the larger woman's torso. Her legs came up to wrap around Jasper's waist, keeping the younger woman flush against where the throbbing was starting in her core.

Peridot kept kissing Jasper as a pair of hands began to work their way beneath her sweater; strong thumbs caressing the small of her waist before dipping down to trace the dimples on her back. Jasper leaned against her, gently pushing her flat against the cold marble of the counter top. Peridot shivered at the cool touch against her heated flesh.

When they finally parted, Peridot's entire brain was hazy with pleasure. Jasper just had that effect on her – complete mind-numbing intoxication.

 _Oh god oh god oh god!_ Peridot thought frantically _,_ _This was a terrible idea. We need to get out of my mother's house before we end up fucking on the counter._ Unfortunately, her self-control was pretty much shot to hell and Jasper loomed over her looking like she was about to eat Peridot for dessert.

" _Jasper_ ," she whined, "We can't do this here! My brother is right in the next room and, oh crap, what if he sees us like this?" She heard movement coming from the living room and quickly shot back up, nearly knocking heads with Jasper in the process. She quickly attempted to straighten out her appearance in case her brother came looking for them.

Strong hands roughly grabbed at her hips, rubbing the thumbs soothingly over the jut of her hipbones. Peridot could barely contain herself as those fingers inched their way towards the apex of her thighs and caressed the wet spot seeping through her leggings. Jasper leaned in close to Peridot's ear and whispered: "Fine Peri, where do you wanna go?"

"An-Anywhere with a bed and a door that locks," Peridot demanded with a shudder, as the ache in her groin grew, "But we have to go now because I can't wait any longer. You're driving me crazy, Jasper."

Jasper grinned wickedly at her words. "Oh? Am I?"

"Yes, you _clod_." Peridot wrapped her arms around her girlfriend's neck and pulled her in.

"Lead the way, nerd." Jasper met her halfway for a kiss, tracing the curve of her back with both hands.

But why wait? Peridot's sex-addled brain knew of a few horizontal surfaces in rooms with locking doors, which were within pretty close range.

She pulled away from Jasper's lips with a small pop. "So Jasp…I have a terrible idea," she teased, twirling a lock of Jasper's hair around her finger, "Would you like to destroy the sanctity of my childhood bed with me?"

Jasper snorted a laugh at her suggestion, but smiled nonetheless. "Babe, that _is_ a terrible idea."

"I know. I've had a lot of those as of late. What's one more bad decision?"

"Alright. Let's just make this quick." Jasper grabbed Peridot by the waist and hefted her down from the counter. "…But what about your brother? He's still home."

"Shit, you're right. Hang on." Peridot tip-toed over to the living room door, peeking inside to check on Peedee. He was sitting on the couch with his back to her, playing some first-person shooter game- but she could clearly see the gigantic noise-cancelling headphones he wore when he played online with his friends. He probably couldn't hear a thing. Oh well, one way to find out.

Peridot cupped her hands over her mouth and shouted from the doorway: "Hey Peedee! I'm going to show Jasper all of those Sonic the Hedgehog fanfictions you wrote when you were 11!" She expected him to at least turn around and glare at her, or maybe even flip her off; but her brother didn't even flinch, still engrossed in the video game he was playing and completely oblivious to the fact his sister and her girlfriend were standing right behind him in the doorway. Bless those soundproof headphones.

Now that nothing was standing in their way, Peridot grabbed Jasper by the arm and pulled her to the staircase. "C'mon Jasper!" She could hardly wait any longer and by the look in Jasper's eyes, she could tell that her girlfriend felt the same.

When they reached the top of the stairs, Jasper snatched Peridot and pulled her into a searing kiss, pushing her up against the closest wall. She let out a gasp as her girlfriend's rough hands trailed up the length of her sides, thumbs sweeping over the curve of her breasts. Peridot pulled back from Jasper's lips and weakly mumbled: "Jasper. My bed. **Now**."

Jasper rolled her eyes, but smiled, " _Fine_." She pulled Peridot by the arm, down the hallway and into Peridot's bedroom. Once the door was safely shut behind them, Peridot flipped the lock securely. She didn't need any more interruptions between her and Jasper's sexy times.

They were finally alone together, and Peridot couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief. Jasper had already shucked off her leather jacket on to her desk chair, and was now sitting on Peridot's old and incredibly small twin sized bed, trying to kick off her boots. "Are we really going to have sex on this? I don't think I can even fit my whole body on here."

The smaller woman cocked her head and giggled. "We're certainly going to have to try. I'd rather not do it on the floor." Peridot spotted her messenger bag on the floor and suddenly remembered her promise to Jasper – the one she had made at the coffee shop just as they were setting this whole ridiculous plan in motion.

"Hey Jasp, before we, uh, start, I have something I wanted to give you." She shuffled around in her bag and pulled out the three crisp hundred dollar bills she had promised as payment. With the cash in hand, she walked over to Jasper, standing right between her knees, and pressed the money into Jasper's palm. "That's for you. I just wanted to say thank you for everything. I don't think I could have done this without you." She smiled a small, genuine smile and leaned over to peck Jasper on the lips.

The younger woman stared down at the bills incredulously, shook her head, and pushed the money back at Peridot. "Peri, I don't want your money. Keep it."

"W-wait! But we had a deal. I was serious about paying you. Please take it." She pushed the money back at Jasper.

Her girlfriend was equally resolute. "I don't need it Peri. I got something better." Jasper's hands reached out and smoothed over the curve of her hips before cupping her ample rear and giving it a good squeeze.

" _Jasper_ ," Peridot huffed, swatting her hands away. She pretended to be annoyed by how grabby Jasper was, but inside she felt warm and stupidly happy- although had no idea why Jasper was so obsessed with her ass.

"Please, take it Jasper," she insisted for the last time, "I want you to have it. Get yourself something nice or use it for your bike. Buy a whole bunch of dildos for all I care. Just, please, accept it. You've done too much for me as it is."

Jasper looked at the money in her hand for a moment and paused. "…Anything I want, huh?" Jasper fished out a single hundred and waggled her eyebrows at Peridot, "How about a lap dance, baby?"

Peridot deadpanned and shoved her playfully back onto the bed. "I'm not giving you a fucking lap dance, Jasper. No way." She dropped down onto the mattress and sidled up between Jasper's sprawled legs, a smile creeping across her lips. "How about we finish what we started downstairs instead?"

Jasper sucked in a little gasp of air, looking more than pleased at the sight of Peridot laid out on top of her. She threaded her fingers through the back of Peridot's short, blond hair and pulled her down into an indulgent kiss. Jasper's hand wandered and caressed over the tight spandex of her leggings and down into the dip of her back, grabbing on and holding her tightly in place. There was no rushing or frantic need rip their clothes off like the first time they were together.

Peridot cupped Jasper's face between her palms and kissed her back, alternating between long, languid tongue tangling and flurries of sweet little pecks. Jasper rolled them both over so that they lay chest to chest on their sides, legs entwined together, without breaking the contact between them. Jasper's large hands reached up and worked on untangling the scarf still wrapped around the smaller woman's neck. Once she had removed the accessory, Jasper trailed a few quick lip presses against the fair skin of Peridot's jawline, and then moved down to the exposed column of her neck, which was still littered with old markings from their first time. She pressed a quick kiss to the juncture of Peridot's throat, before licking a wet stripe back up to her ear with the tip of her tongue.

"Oh Jasper...," Peridot whimpered, shuddering at the wet sensation as her fingers entwined themselves with that mane of wild blonde hair. The younger woman took Peridot's pleasured response as an invitation to roughly suck a few new hickies into Peridot's delicate skin, running her tongue soothingly over each new mark.

Peridot squirmed and shivered against Jasper's ministrations, pulling tighter at her hair, which Jasper seemed to welcome as she hummed into the column of her neck.

"Jasper!" she whined, faking her annoyance, "Didn't you leave enough hickies the other night? I'm still covered in them."

Full lips curled into a smirk against her skin before Jasper roughly sucked another harsh bruise onto Peridot's neck, making her girlfriend writhe against her. She released her from her mouth with a wet 'pop'. "Nah, found a nice empty spot right here, babe." And Jasper lathed her tongue onto a freshly forming bruise before moving on to make a new one just next to it. Peridot really couldn't complain though, because the feeling of Jasper's hot mouth on the pulse of her neck was sublime.

Jasper's tongue slipped its way up the hollow of her throat before tracing its way to the shell of her ear. Peridot could only shiver in delight; everything was so sensitive. The fingers that held tight at her waist came loose and ghosted over the soft skin of her belly, so lightly that she squirmed at the tickling sensation. She couldn't help but giggle out: "Stop! Jasper, that tickles!"

Jasper let out a devious chuckle of her own before teasing her fingers in harder, enjoying the breathy sounds Peridot made between her laughter.

"Ha-st-top! Dammit, Jasper!" Peridot's whole body seized and she reflexively pushed her conniving girlfriend away, realizing too late that there wasn't enough mattress behind her.

Peridot tried to grab her, but she wasn't fast enough and Jasper slid off the bed, landing with a surprised "oompf!" on the floor below. Panicked, Peridot peered over the side, only to find Jasper, flat on her back, glaring up at her.

"I can't believe you pushed me off the bed." Well, she didn't sound angry at least.

Peridot responded with a fit of laughter and, to her relief, Jasper laughed back too. "'M sorry! I didn't mean to!"

The two kept smiling and giggling as Jasper climbed up onto the mattress and pushed Peridot back down.

"I'm sorry, lemme make it up to you," Peridot whispered between giggles as she cupped Jasper's face between her hands.

"Yeah?" Jasper teased, "You better." Mismatched hands wrapped around thin wrists, pulling them away from her face, before pressing a kiss into each palm. Peridot wondered if the _**thud-thud-thud**_ of the pounding in her chest was a sign her heart was about to give out - because it sure felt like it was.

She fisted her hands in the jersey of Jasper's shirt and dragged her close again, going straight for the sensitive lobe of her ear. She nipped at it gently, and rolled it between her teeth. Jasper gave her the perfect reaction, moaning and gripping Peridot's body tightly against her.

"Does that feel good?" Peridot murmured softly against the shell of her ear, and Jasper could only nod her head breathlessly, blissfully dazed behind her thick lashes. Peridot's fingertips came up and traced over Jasper's dark, kiss swollen lips before grazing back over the vitiligo patterns on her skin. "God, Jasper, you're so beautiful," Peridot whispered reverently.

Tiny hands ran up the steep curve of Jasper's hips and found the hem of her shirt, tugging it upwards until the larger woman helped her remove it. Peridot traced her fingertips over the swell of Jasper's full breasts, gazing in rapture at her voluptuous curves. Peridot dipped her head down and pressed a kiss right above the swell of them while her hands wrapped around and worked on undoing the clasp on Jasper's bra. Once freed, she roughly thumbed over Jasper's exposed nipples, enjoying the way her girlfriend sighed and strained into her touch. Deft little fingers tweaked and stroked, until they puckered for her as she revelled in the sounds of Jasper's breathy moans in her ears. Once she was satisfied with her results, she wetted her own lips with a sweep of her tongue before descending upon on one of the hardened nubs and sucked it while her other hand gently pinched its twin.

"Oh, that's it baby, just like _that_ …," Jasper groaned above her, wrapping her long legs around the smaller woman's waist and effectively locking her in place. Jasper's hips rocked and ground up against Peridot, trying to relieve some of the heavy ache she felt in her core.

Jasper's guided Peridot's hand down between her thighs and rasped out, "Babe. Touch me _here_." Peridot swallowed thickly, and could only nod as her brain had short-circuited at the heated request.

She wasted no time unbuttoning Jasper's jeans and slipping her fingers past the waistband of her underwear. Peridot's breath hitched, because oh wow she was already so wet. The panties Jasper wore were completely soaked through. The slick quickly coated Peridot's fingers as she dipped down further to tease between Jasper's thighs. She rubbed firmly at Jasper's clit and felt the body beneath her quiver.

 _Oh god oh god oh god, is she this wet because of me?_ _This is so hot and oh, fuck!_

"F-fuck, that feels good, Per." Jasper rocked herself against Peridot's palm. " _More_."

At this point, Peridot was so turned on, she would have done just about anything Jasper wanted her to do. She slid her hand out and tugged on Jasper's jeans, desperately struggling to get them off. Her girlfriend's large hands came down to help slide both pants and her underwear off, leaving Jasper completely naked and, somehow, Peridot still fully clothed.

"I want these off of you," came Jasper's warm voice as her hands slipped beneath the elastic of Peridot's leggings and tugged. Peridot writhed at the feeling of blunt nails running down the length of her now bare legs. Her pants were unceremoniously tossed onto the floor, followed shortly by her sweater and bra, leaving her just in her panties with the taller woman looming over her, eyeing her hungrily.

Peridot breathed heavily as she lay stretched out beneath the other woman, her whole body tingling with excitement. Jasper leaned over her and pressed one kiss into the valley between her small breasts, followed by a press of lips on her belly. Jasper kissed her over and over again, slowly making her way down to Peridot's panty line. Peridot's body was almost bursting with anticipation by the time Jasper's head came to rest between her thighs. One final kiss was pressed onto the growing wet spot in her cotton panties, and Peridot's whole body jolted in delight. But instead of continuing, Jasper just smirked and looked back up at Peridot, whose eyes were dazed behind her glasses as she panted like she had just run a marathon.

Slowly, two fingers hooked into the sides of Peridot's underwear and dragged them down; peppering a few more stray kisses down the lengths of her legs. Jasper waved the offending article for Peridot to see before tossing them behind her. But instead of lying back down next to Peridot, she took a moment to admire the flushed, squirming mess sprawled out in front of her.

"Stop teasing me, Jasp." Peridot felt hot under her girlfriend's gaze, and a breathy sigh slipped past her lips. "C'mere."

Jasper obeyed and lowered herself next to Peridot, who pulled at her for another kiss. After a moment, they pulled away and Jasper whispered into her ear: "Think you could get on top of me again?"

"Fine." Peridot playfully huffed and cocked an eyebrow, pushing Jasper back down onto the mattress and climbing on top of her. "Happy now?"

"Very," Jasper purred and bit at her bottom lip, running her eyes over the sight of Peridot's naked form. "Have I ever told you how sexy you are when you do that?" she said, gesturing at the smaller woman straddling her middle.

Peridot could feel her cheeks warm at the compliment. "You might have mentioned it before," she responded coolly, before sliding down to straddle one of Jasper's legs. With an excited shiver, she slid her fingers between Jasper's slick folds and positioning them right at her entrance.

Jasper groaned and threw her head back as Peridot gave a few gentle strokes to her clit and then circled back around to slide one finger into her twitching sex. The sounds she made were unreal, and when Peridot slipped in a second finger, and then a third, it only got better.

She worked her hand against Jasper's core, pressing in deeper and deeper as the giant woman bucked wildly beneath her. With each thrust into her dripping slit, Peridot worked her palm into her aching clitoris, earning her a garbled mantra of " _Oh, Peri, yes, more_ ".

Peridot couldn't help but admire how unbelievably sexy Jasper was when she was deep in the throes of pleasure. The way her head was thrown back as she arched off the bed suggested that she was close. Just when Peridot thought Jasper was on the verge of her peak, strong hands came up to grab and knead at Peridot's thighs.

"Peri," Jasper begged her hoarsely, "I want you to eat my pussy."

Welp, fuck. Peridot could never say no to a request like that.

While Jasper was sitting up, Peridot pulled out and slid herself into position, trying not to fall off the end of the tiny bed in the process. She couldn't help but push Jasper's thick thighs apart, spreading her nicely, so she could admire her beautifully wet sex. Peridot thought it looked gorgeous, just like the rest of her, and she couldn't help but lick her lips at the sight of it.

Once she had both arms hooked around Jasper's spread legs, she dipped down and lathed the flat of her tongue from her girlfriend's entrance to her clit, sucking it between her lips. Jasper nearly screamed and threw her head back, tangling her hands in Peridot's hair and gripping her head tightly. Peridot kept licking and sucking at the swollen nub while Jasper's copious juices trickled down her chin. Jasper's whole body was starting to twitch and convulse. Her strong hands pushed Peridot's face deeper into the sopping heat. She was close.

"Oh god, Peri, I'm gonna come…" she muttered frantically; and as the smaller woman thrust two fingers roughly back into her, aiming right for her sweet spot, Jasper came with a muffled cry before she collapsed back against the headboard.

Peridot continued to work her hand and mouth deftly, bringing Jasper back down from her orgasm while the younger woman could only watch, still wide-eyed and breathless from the experience.

Jasper guided Peridot up to kiss her, hopefully not caring that her girlfriend was a sloppy mess and still covered in her fluids.

"God, Peri," she muttered between kisses, "that was incredible". Her thumbs gently brushed across Peridot's flushed cheeks, as the older woman gazed up at her through the round frames of her glasses.

"Let me take care of you now," Jasper whispered huskily into her ear, and Peridot could only nod dreamily, still embarrassingly aware of how aroused she was.

Jasper pulled her down onto the bed and rolled her over, until Peridot was on her side with her back nestled firmly against the younger woman's voluptuous chest. One arm snaked its way under Peridot's waist, and reached up to toy and tease with her small breasts while her head dipped down to nibble the shell of her ear. Jasper's other hand wrapped around her middle and stroked at the supple skin of her belly, lightly sinking her fingers into the silken flesh.

"Mhn, Peri," she whispered fervently into her ear, "I love how soft you are. So soft and warm." Hot breath tickled the back of her neck and Peridot couldn't help but moan and rock against her.

Her other hand traveled back up her figure, lightly ghosting over the dips of her ribs, until she came to her other neglected breast. Jasper worked on caressing the small mounds of her chest, fingers lightly grazing over the puckered tips. Peridot couldn't help herself as she whined and leaned into her touch, mumbling an endless stream of " _O_ _hhhh Jasper, Jasper, Jasper_!"

"And your tiny boobs are so cute, Peri." Jasper gave each nipple a sharp pinch and Peridot let out a strangled sob, clawing at the bed sheets.

"Jasper!" Her breath hitched again, eyes screwed shut. "Those are…ahn! Sensitive!"

Peridot could feel a smile spreading against the nape of her neck, and she knew she was in trouble.

"Oh yeah?" Jasper asked, intrigued. She didn't bother waiting for a response before she roughly twisted the straining peaks, pulling at them mercilessly, until the tiny woman let out a throaty scream, straining her perky mounds into Jasper's rough hands.

" _Peridot_." Jasper hissed and slid two fingers past her girlfriend's parted lips, which she greedily began to suckle, "The sex noises you make are the hottest thing I've ever heard, but you need to keep it down because the whole neighborhood can hear you."

Peridot nodded obediently, but she could barely register what she was even agreeing to; her head was swimming with the need for release, as she licked and sucked on the digits pressing against her tongue. If Jasper didn't start touching her soon, she was pretty sure she might actually explode.

Jasper's other hand released her abused breast and slowly traced its way back down her body, taking its time to graze over the chubbiness of her thighs until it came to a stop at her knee. Jasper planted one sloppy kiss on Peridot's cheek before grabbing the back of her leg and lifting it up high as it would go, spreading her lewdly and receiving a garbled cry of protest from her little lover.

The digits slid from Peridot's mouth with a wet 'pop', trailing the slickness down her form until they came to a stop in the tuft of curls right above her cleft. Peridot squirmed against her, wanting Jasper to get on with it; but the larger woman seemed content to tease her, stroking her just shy of where she needed it the most.

"Jasp…," Peridot pleaded through parted lips, "T-touch me, oh god, touch me, please!"

There was a hot puff of breath on her neck, followed the low vibrations of a chuckle. "Show me, Peri. Where do you want to be touched?"

With her patience long since evaporated due to Jasper's scorching hot touches, Peridot grabbed at her girlfriend's hand and shoved it down further, until reached her slick core. She ground herself right against the woman's wide palm with a frustrated grunt. "Touch me _here_ ," she demanded sternly while Jasper gave a low snicker at her desperation.

Jasper's generous fingers slid between the folds and thrummed against Peridot's clit as the smaller woman let out a strangled cry and tried her best to roll her hips in time with the rhythm. The hand which held up her elevated leg then made its way down to her heated entrance, leaving her leg hooked over Jasper's elbow. Peridot was already soaked through and when the first finger probed against her opening, it slid inside without resistance, earning a satisfied sigh in response. Her hips rocked back onto Jasper's hands as she moaned out in pleasure. The second digit slipped inside just as easily and Peridot could feel her whole body clenching and aching for Jasper to give her release.

Peridot reached back and grabbed a fist full of Jasper's hair, right at the base of her neck, pulling her forward, desperate for a kiss. As their tongues tangled together, both of Jasper's hands worked meticulously; the fingers of one thrusting deeper and deeper while the other digits stroked her swollen clit faster and faster. She felt incredible, like she could just fuse right into Jasper's warm embrace as Jasper held her close and touched her so intimately.

Peridot could barely think straight, she was so thoroughly pleasured; her climax was fast approaching and all she could do was rock her hips to Jasper's rhythm in a mindless dance, hoping her mangled mantra of ' _Oh Jasper, yes Jasper, please Jasper_ ' wasn't _that_ loud. She was so close, _so close_ , she could feel her walls starting to quiver- but then suddenly Jasper's hands came to a dead halt and slipped away from her.

"Wha? Wh-Why'd you stop?" she sobbed as she threw her head back in frustration. Dammit Jasper, how could she do such a cruel thing? But the younger woman clearly had something else in mind as she pulled at Peridot's waist, urging her to get back on top of her.

"C'mere, Peri," And while Peridot wanted to protest, she complied, climbing her way back onto Jasper.

"Why?" she moaned, "I'm so close, Jas, please, _please_." This was absolute torture. Her head was swimming and her body hummed with pleasure, but she still needed that one, big push over the edge. So she was stuck.

Below her, Jasper's cheeks flushed a little darker and she looked away from Peridot, avoiding her gaze. "I want…please sit on my face."

If Peridot's brain had been malfunctioning before, it was now officially in full meltdown mode.

"You want me to…what? Oh god, Jasp, I-I've never tried that before." Was it possible for her face to get even redder? Aroused and embarrassed was a hell of a combo for her complexion.

"You haven't?" Jasper purred deeply, "Get up here. I want to taste you so badly." A pair of hands reached for her hips and tugged her to sit up, helping her to position her dripping slit right above Jasper's eager lips.

Somewhere in the back of Peridot's sex addled brain, it occurred to her that not only did she get to ride on Jasper's motorcycle, but she was also getting to ride her face.

Two hands reached back and cupped the fullness of her rear, squeezing playfully to get a reaction out of her. From below, Jasper stared straight up at Peridot; taking in her blushed, trembling body and big, half lidded eyes, before pressing a kiss into the groove of her thigh. "You're so beautiful, Peri."

Peridot gave a weak cry and leaned over to support herself on the headboard, suddenly self-conscious about having most of her weight planted right on top of Jasper. But the larger woman didn't seem to be worried about any of that as she pulled Peridot down the rest of the way, sinking her tongue between Peridot's folds and squeezing those thick thighs onto her face. With one little thrust she had slipped the whole thing into Peridot's twitching opening.

The smaller woman shuddered and gripped the headboard harder. Beneath her, Jasper worked her over expertly, lazily delving her tongue in and out of her tight slit until Peridot was quaking. Jasper worked her way back up to her swollen clit and suckled it sweetly, enjoying the way her lover twitched and mewled her name as she glided her teeth over it.

Once she seemed satisfied with Peridot's breathy moans, Jasper upped the intensity, grabbing her plump backside and rolling her hips in a steady rhythm against her mouth, hungrily lapping at her sex. Peridot doubled over. A hand slid down between her legs to roughly fist at Jasper's thick mane of hair as her body mindlessly ground down against those full lips. Nothing mattered to Peridot in that moment, so long as she could feel Jasper's hot mouth dragging her closer and closer to the edge.

As that the pit of fire boiled back up in her belly again, Peridot knew she wouldn't last much longer. She threw her head back, gripping Jasper's scalp more tightly, and ground her hips against Jasper's greedy lips.

"Oh my stars, Jasper, so close, I'm _so_ close!" Peridot pleaded with her for release. From between her legs, Peridot watched as the larger woman nodded against her, sucking her clit past her lips and using her free hand to pinch and pull at Peridot's nipple. But it wasn't the tonguing or the searing touches that finally sent her crashing over the edge; it was Jasper's smouldering gaze, staring up intently as Peridot keened and quivered for her. And with that, Peridot came with a silent scream, trembling thighs clamping against Jasper's face as white stars burst behind her vision.

Jasper hummed lovingly, lapping at her core, and working her over from her orgasmic high. Peridot could only breathe raggedly, her fist clamped tight into a mess of hair as her whole body pulsed and shook with pleasure. She came down with the sweetest of sighs.

When she was finally done, Jasper helped Peridot off- making sure she didn't end up taking a stray knee to the face- and laid the tiny, exhausted woman down next to her. With a lewd grin, she licked clean her lips and fingers, enjoying the decadent mess of Peridot's orgasm, while the smaller woman giggled delirious words of praise into her ear.

"How was that?" Jasper whispered as she pushed Peridot's sweat-matted hair away from her big, brown eyes.

Peridot leaned in and kissed her, not caring that she could taste herself on the other woman's tongue. All's that mattered was that they were sated and happy; crammed together on her old, twin sized bed. Despite everything, in that one moment, Peridot felt like her life was pretty damn near perfect.

Jasper pulled away and let out a deep yawn, drawing her in closer and letting their legs twine together as she buried her face in Peridot's fluffy blonde hair.

"Peridot," a tired murmur rumbled against her temple, "we might be crazy." After everything they had gone through during the past week, she wasn't wrong.

"I-I know. This did happen sort of fast." Peridot added quietly. "But I really like you, Jasper. And now that this whole dinner disaster is over, I want to get to know you better. Could…Could I ask you out on a date? But like a real date. No more of this fake-date crap. I think that's a good place to start."

Above her, Jasper let out a brief chuckle, rubbing her nose against the crown of Peridot's head. "Funny, I was going to ask you the same thing. What do you want to do?"

"I dunno." She murmured against her neck. "Better Thanksgiving? On your couch, in our underwear? Maybe with take out and a movie?"

"That sounds perfect," Jasper said sleepily, letting out a loud yawn.

"Jas," Peridot whispered, shaking her girlfriend's shoulder lightly, "but we need to get the fuck outta here. We're still in my crazy mother's house, remember? Let's go before she comes back!"

"Hmm?" Jasper mumbled drowsily as she pulled Peridot in tighter, "Lemme hold you a little, Peri, and shut my eyes for, like, five minutes."

"No, 'cuz if you fall asleep, we're never getting out of here. C'mon Jasper, put your pants back on, you useless lesbian!" Peridot attempted to wiggle out from beneath her girlfriend's grasp, but couldn't seem to escape. She let out a loud yawn of her own, suddenly feeling very tired, but safe and warm in Jasper's arms. Maybe a quick nap wasn't such a bad idea.

As Jasper's soft breathing evened out next to her, Peridot relented and buried her face in Jasper's neck. "Fine, a quick nap." Another yawn, eyelids drooping lower. "But then we run, okay?"

"Shhhh," was the answer she received, followed by the sound of snoring. Peridot smiled and quickly followed suit.

A/N Thank you to everyone who left comments. You guys are the best.  
And...That's it. It's over.  
Probably.


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